I’ve been watching a Canadian TV show lately called “Being Erica.”
(Photo Credit to Miquiel Banks)
I know what you’re thinking. What good can come from Canada? But this show is actually pretty good (And Canadians are awesome by the way, so throw away the superiority, fellow Americans).
The main character, obviously named Erica, is annoying. But she gets progressively less annoying as the series goes on. “Being Erica” begins with Erica’s messed up life, until she meets a therapist called Dr. Tom.
And of course, the story twist is that Dr. Tom is not your average therapist. He has a tormented past, and he has abilities to return Erica back into her past, inside her past self to revisit all her biggest regrets in life.
Pretty nifty, isn’t it? The ability to redo the huge regrets in your life. Lucky Erica.
Unfortunately, I don’t have a Dr. Tom in my life to turn me back in time. The show made me a bit wistful. It made me wonder what the biggest regrets of my life is.
I would love to redo the stupid mistakes I made at the LA Times, but then I wouldn’t have learned the importance of fact-checking, nor would I have eaten that fat piece of humble pie (FYI, it was kinda bitter).
Of course my eating disorder history is an undesirable part of my life, but then I wouldn’t have learned compassion, love, pain and all the meaningful things in life.
It would be great if I could unwind the tumultuous relationship I had with my cousin, but then I wouldn’t have understood the devastating effects of hate and rivalry, or the glorious grace of Christ’s blood for a sinner like me.
Regrets. We have them, but if given the chance…would we really go back and change things? And if we did, what changes would it have brought to our life? Would we be a very different person now?
It’s a tough question, but I think for me, I would leave the big regrets alone, and just breathe a sigh of relief that Thank God, they’re over. If I could undo my regrets though, I think I might undo a few tiny ones. Like the time when I got cranky and snapped at a friend, or all the times when I said “no” to a social invite because I thought I was tired and would rather stay home, but end up sleeping late anyway.
Speaking of social invites. I’m almost never saying “no” these days. I’m realizing how much of an extrovert I am. Even when I’ve had 3 hours of sleep and am dozing off in the middle of the afternoon, the moment I meet my friends for dinner, my energy level shoots up.
Social time? It’s my non-caffeinated energy buzzer.
No more regrets on that regard now. If I’m having a downer day, I can always count on my friends to perk me up by the time we sit down to order.
So I was talking about the wine-tasting event I attended with a couple of girlfriends, and I left off the part where we meet another group of friends at an Asian cafe called Four Leaf.
Four Leaf is a tiny tea-and-crepe cafe in Little Tokyo. Although it’s located at Little Tokyo, I heard that the establishment is owned by Taiwanese owners, and the Taiwanese influences are reflected on the menu.
First of all—wow. Freaking cute cafe!
If you’re an anime-enthusiast, you probably know the expression “Kawaii-nae!” I find it terribly annoying, but if there ever is a time to squeal it, it’s when you step into this cafe.
Kawaii-nae! I call it the Hello Kitty of creperies. Just take a look at the forest-themed decor. It’s like an enchanted forest.
Look up, and you see carved wooden birds pecking at clear feed boxes swinging gently from the ceiling.
That’s a cute idea; I would love to have a few of those hanging over my bed.
You’ll also see sculptures of white birds flitting about on the warm brown walls, next to the emerald walls with evergreen leaves.
There’s more artworks on birds sit on mantels next to artificial flowers and gift sets.
Besides for the birdies, there’s also ideas for gifts, like these tea sugar and raw tea honey:
I like that the giant menu is a light green see-through with pictures of leaves and stick-on magnet models of ladybugs and dragonflies. Wish I had taken a closer picture of those insect magnets.
And don’t you like those giant globes of white mesh for light sources? That mesh encircle light bulbs, and sometimes they spiral gently to cast a series of entangled shadows on the walls.
Okay. Time to order. It was late Wednesday night, but the cafe was surprisingly packed. What’s with Asians and late nights?
There’s Lindsey observing the menu.
The menu is international. You’ve got your requisite Asian beverages like bubble tea and chai tea, and then you’ve got your savory and sweet crepes that have been influenced by multicultural flavors.
We had a lot to eat at the wine tasting event, so most of my friends stuck to bubble tea:
That’s Tracy’s jolly engineer friend who helps out with her web design that is not yet completed. 
Since it was late at night, I opted for something sweet. I’m not into bubble tea, and I really wanted the crepes. I got Tracy to split this “Sweet Velvet” crepe with me:
“Sweet Velvet”: taro paste, rich vanilla gelato, and crunchy sliced almonds in green tea crepe.
Oh my. Loved the contrast of crunch and creaminess, and the taro paste is deliciously smooth and fresh. Taro is a starchy root vegetable that appears in many Taiwanese desserts; just think of sweet potatoes, chestnuts and yucca pureed into a mild, starchy cream.
The only disappointment was that the crepe, which was supposed to be green tea flavored, had no green tea flavor at all. I much preferred Harajuku’s crepe batter, though I freaking loved Four Leaf’s crepe filling.
And then my buddy Marilyn arrived.
She normally doesn’t eat after 8 p.m., but I coaxed her to split another dessert crepe with me. To be honest, she’s such a foodie that it didn’t take much effort to tempt her.
We got the “I Never Drink Wine” crepe:
Named tongue-in-cheek, of course, because this is a wine-infused crepe with slivers of tender red wine-poached pears, candied pecans and a rounded scoop of vanilla bean gelato, all drizzled with a scarlet red wine glaze. Again, in a green tea-less green tea crepe.
The crepe was yummy but not spectacular. I think I preferred the “Sweet Velvet.” If I hadn’t had the “Sweet Velvet” beforehand, I would have loved this crepe much more.
More spectacular was the company.
As always, we had tons of fun.
Yes, it was close to midnight, and yes, it was a weekday and I had classes the next day and yes, I had a lot of homework.
But you know what? No regrets whatsoever.
Because if I’m going to be pigging out in the middle of the night…
…I might as well do it with a bunch of awesome friends who egg me on and make me laugh.
Laughter makes me healthy, so it was all in favor of health.
So long as I’m living, laughing and eating, I’ll say I have no more regrets.
Question of the Day: If you had a Dr. Tom and could go back in time, which big (or small) regret would you return to and change?
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{ 40 comments… read them below or add one }
Loving the pinstripe blazer, Sophia! And I actually just discovered a little Japanese crepe shop here in Portland which I am dying to try- I love all the beautiful and funky combos on the menu
As for regrets, I used to wallow over mine; but I’ve realized how much those experiences have taught me so much. I mean, as weird as it is to say, my fascination and love for food did come from my eating disorder. Pre anorexia I was a suuuper picky eater, barely ate any vegetables, hated cheese and seafood, and wasn’t all that adventurous- but in recovery being forced to branch out/try new foods brought about an appreciation and to look at food not just as calories/nutrients but also as a form of creativity, an expression of culture, and a basis to social events.
One regret I would go back and change? That I didn’t do enough post-college preparation while I was in college (internships, networking, etc)
Yay for Canadians! I’m glad you recognize how amazing we are.
If I had the chance to go back in time to change some of my regrets.. I wouldn’t do it. There are so many things that one would think I would want to change (how I handled my depression, my eating disorder, some of the things I’ve done while partying) but the thing is, I wouldn’t change a single thing. Everything I have done so far is shaping me into this really amazing person that I am slowly falling in love with.
One of the best comments ever!!! Loved your last sentence especially! <3
“…so throw away the superiority, fellow Americans”
In my experience, Americans aren’t the ones running around with their nation’s flag pinned to their backpacks and shirts or ragging on another country’s culture, language, food, health care system, etc. Canadians are the ones always ragging on the U.S. and getting offended if someone mistakes them for being from the United States. I have never experienced an American (living in Japan) who put their nationality out there and expressed how much better it was than others, but I’ve experienced plenty of people from other cultures who feel it is necessary to do so, and Canadians more so than anyone else. I’ve seen far more Canadian flags since coming to Japan than any other, and that includes Japanese flags.
Ha! I had no idea. That’s interesting. I guess it’s national complex. I added that phrase because I hear so many American jokes downgrading Canada. But actually, all those jokes, I only heard on TV. :-p
I’m a Canadian citizen, but not Canadian-born NOR raised in Canada, but that’s my little context for you to take my following comment with a grain of salt. I’ve been raised overseas and just lived in Canada for a little over a year, but this is what I can tell, after living here and after living in America for three years a couple of years back:
Canadians are TOLD to pin the Canadian flag to their backpacks when they travel (government recommendation), so that they don’t get mistaken for Americans. No offense (but it’ll probably sound offensive anyway), but Americans are not well-liked in many parts of the world. Moving from America to the Philippines, my family stopped over for one night in the Netherlands (where I have lived also, previously) for a quick visit. We hadn’t removed the stickers from our baggage (and at the time they stuck stickers to some of our carry-on items, too, stating our country of origin: the US of A) when we checked into a hotel, and we got glares from just about everyone in the hotel lobby until my parents identified themselves to the attendants at the front desk.
I’ve lived in seven countries, travelled all around the world, and I haven’t met too many people who’ve bragged excessively about their culture – mostly Americans, when I lived in Americans. I don’t really care whether you believe me or not, but the number one “most patriotic” country I have been to is the US. Moving there, I was surprised by how many humongous flags people had hanging from their balconies and porches.
Also, if Canadians are patriotic, so what? Why does that bother you? Our country’s immigration stinks compared to America’s, and some places in Canada have become completely overrun with supposed “minorities” to the point that you’d almost think Canadians are suppressed – and I used to think that was impossible and kind of a hilarious thought. I’d be one to encourage their patriotism. They’re far too passive and let themselves get pushed around way too easily by immigrant populations.
I’m not trying to provide a totally one-sided argument or be all “OMG Canada’s the BEST country EVER!”. Far, FAR from it. There are so many things I could criticise – particularly about the big cities. Canadians are taxed to death, and don’t say anything about it. The school system is tanking. I have no idea why the medical system gets so much praise, considering how defunct it is. Public transport also suffers in some cities. So, I HOPE I’m not coming across as blindly patriotic… I just thought I’d pitch in my two cents, I guess, more from the perspective of a third culture kid. I’m Canadian by passport, true, but Singapore is home to me. (I’m more blindly optimistic about Singapore than I could ever be about Canada.)
Feel free to debate! Please. And I hope I don’t offend.
Ugh, typos everywhere. First one I spotted, hours later: “when I lived in AMERICA”.
And then “Our country’s immigration LAWS stink compared to…”
I just read your post about your internship with LA Times. Sorry to hear about that….but you know what? We all go through moments like that (or situations…). I think they make us grow and be better at what we want to eventually do. For example, when I did my dietetics internship I did my clinicals first. I failed, miserably, and my internship director told me, “Gina, I put you at clinicals first because I thought you could handle it best, obviously I was wrong”. Yeah, she was wrong, and I felt like a baffoon. But it made me stronger, more humble, and pushed me harder.
If I had a Dr. Tom I’m not really sure what I would take back or change. Many of the things that I thought I regretted at one time, ended up being learning experiences that I really wouldn’t ever take back (such as, like you said, anorexia). And could I even take back my eating disorder anyway? I was never in control of it in the first place, so I doubt it could be taken back. I would probably take back the way I treated my mom during that time. I was such a brat, and a bitch.
If I could change anything I’d have gone away to college: NYC, London, Paris…I regret that I didn’t at least try. Even if my parents would have said now – which they would have. I should have made it happen!
Anyway, don’t forget about how awesome I am! I’m Canadian too.
Haha, how could I have forgotten you? I keep thinking of you as an Angeleno though!
By the way…what happened to our Roy’s date? ;-p
Hey there, thanks for the comment on my blog! Always nice to hear from someone I don’t know
Great post, I looooove crepes, will have to check this place out! Still getting to know this city…I feel ya on the whole “regrets” thing, I’ve made some mistakes in the past too but try not to dwell. I’m also trying to find my footing in the writing industry, but more along the bloggin/online type route, but still dont really know what I want to be when I grow up, ha! For now I’m just blogging, temping and eating! I’ll keep checking back with your site, it looks really good, feel free to do the same!
How is it you make all these places I walk by on an almost weekly occurence sound so much more awesome than when I’m standing right outside of them? XP Joy Mart, Four Leaf, Curry House, ZenCu…Well, most specifically Joy Mart and Four Leaf..Of course when I’m outside Fourleaf I stare at the giant menu from outside (I’m one of those people thats too embarassed to go inside and walk out if I decide not to get anything and try somewhere else..but I didn’t know they had more on the menu with the crepes! I always want to try places, but for some reason I’m always afraid of ordering the “wrong” thing and not enjoying what I eat, because I always see other peoples food and it tends to look so much better! lol, I’ll have to work on that for “no regrets”.
If I could go back in time I would change quite a few things..or well..maybe, lol, if most of them are based on the amount of courage or self esteem I have at the moment, so I’d need more self esteem or courage to undo those things, lol.
I don’t have regrets per say. Sometimes I have wistful thoughts of “what if,” but I’d never risk any change in my current life. It’s just too freaking awesome!!!
Now I’m craving Japanese crepes! Luckily for me there is a kiosk at our nearby mall! Unfortunately they’re not open late though. The Seattle area rolls up it’s sidewalks much too early.
Great post! I want to explore the crepe world.. I’ve only had the “traditional” American style crepes with strawberries and whipped cream. Good, but could be so much better!
If i could go back, I don’t think I would change anything either. There are things that I think about from the past that make me cringe, but like you said, those experiences make us who we are.
I think about regrets often. I don’t regret my eating disorder either, because it taught me so much about myself and gave me a passion for health and helping others. I don’t regret any relationships or terrible breakups because they taught me so much about what I want in my future ones.
I love the decor especially the glass bottles with the birds. It’s an elegant forest. I think being social is an excellent tool for beating EDs and depression because you’re forced to get out of your own misery and realize that people actually like you! Glad you enjoyed that crepe too
I think I’d go back and change some decisions I made in college. After 4.16.07 I made some stupid decisions due to a combination of the grieving process and too much alcohol but honestly, most of those (regretful) decisions have helped mold me into the woman that I am today. I used to waste all my time regretting my choices but now I’ve learned not to waste my present trying to relive my past.
Hey Sarah, did you know my brother is a V-Tech alumnus too? He applied the year that awful shooting happened. A best friend of mine was a sophomore when that happened, and her older brother was a senior. His professor died…he was supposed to be in class that day but overslept.
Anyway, just thought I’d share. (hugs) to you, although I’m 4.5 years late.
I didn’t know that! Your brother must have been in the same class as my sister (she graduated 2011). It’s crazy how an event 4.5 years ago can still effect someone.
I really don’t think I would change anything because all my mistakes, I like to call them lessons, really have made me into the person I am today. And if I’d change one thing, then many other things would likely change as well. And that wouldn’t be good.
Everything happens for a reason? Although I bet I’d still change some things if I could…
Your crepe looks tasty
I love your positive attitude, which may came from your past experience, but it’s really encouraging others. This Taiwanese cafe is nice! I wish we have somewhere like this here. I love bubble tea (I used to drink one per day back in college – all the sugar just disappear back then, but now into my tummy) and crepes… you have good friends around you!
That cafe looks amazing. And you should never regret hanging out with friends while eating good food.
If I could go back in time to change something, I would go and tell my 13 year old self that she is so much more than her weight that if she doubts this to good talk to her (my??) mom who is one of the greatest listeners/advice givers in the world.
Even though most of us have issues in the past that might seem better if they were changed, I believe these issues should remain the way they were. There is a saying that goes.. “In hindsight, everything is perfect”. I tend to agree with this saying because we would not be who we are if not because of all our past experience. This notion is also in line with my belied to be grateful for the material things that we have and not constantly seek out more, unless we are looking for more knowledge, health and personal growth. As long as I am laughing, eating and living life to the fullest, I too have no regrets!
Oh I would def take those crepes over bubble tea…even though I don’t hate bubble tea. The tapioca balls make my stomach a little iffy so I ask for only a few, instead of a whole dosage.
That sounds like a pretty cool show. I’m not sure I would change anything. I know it’s cliche, but I think everything happens for a reason and changing something might “ruin” your chance to learn.
I don’t think I would go back and change anything if I had the chance. I agree with you I would rather be at the place I am currently and just breath and let go of any regrets I have.
Those crepes would be my kind of dessert and I rarely eat dessert. And I would have to eat it with tons of friends because I would take a bite or two and then just hand it off.
I know – I am weird that way…
You look so happy in the photos!
I wouldn’t change a thing. I love that even my regrets have shaped who I am today – and I am happy as a result of many of those opportunities that I now see opportunites to grow and mold me into who God wants me to be.
I will be your Dr. Tom! I don’t have a license or anything, but I do have a tormented past.
Good Friday to you Sophia.
1) No mistakes are stupid. They are innocent errors of perception based on what you know at the time.
If you learn from them, the next time you are faced with that particular situation, you will handle it with effectiveness and feel good about it and yourself. A mistake is simply a learning tool, showing you when you are ‘off-course’ from what works, and has no judgment attached to it.
2) If your eating disorder taught you compassion and love, how can you ever think it was undesirable? We all have lessons to learn, and the form of them sometimes is hard to fathom. Until we see the result of what we have been able to overcome and transform as a result. So when self-harm made you reach to being a more loving and compassionate person towards your self and others, your disorder served its purpose – and could be left behind.
3) Your reaction of deep hurt led you to experiencing hate and distance from your cousin. You accepted you were no longer a sister, rather than saying to her – and believing – I am a sister even if it is not biological, and continuing to love. Often we accept others ‘dismissals’ of who we are – instead of KNOWING we are valuable no matter what issues they are facing.
What your cousin went through wasn’t about you, Sophia – she was turning from you because SHE felt she wasn’t family. She felt abandoned – and then in her own hurt, attempted to abandon you in turn.
You do not have to accept ever being ‘less than” because somebody else acts that way. You are the mirror of who you are and how you act and the choices you make — no matter WHAT anyone else does.
It is good you were able to talk it out with her and have peace finally many years later.
May you learn from that that someone else can be in turmoil – and you don’t have to take it on and even subconsciously take their pain on as your own.
Hate only hurts you. Loathing only hurts you. You may not choose to be with someone who is acting unkindly – that is healthy to have good boundaries — and yet YOU also know with compassion that it is about them – and not about your value in the world.
((hugs))
This is all part of the growing and discovery process of life, your particular lessons, and it looks as though you are mastering them.
Be kind to yoursefl Sophia. Be kind in your self-talk.
There is a reason for everything, and it is never to end up with a neagtive – that is just an illusion. It asways becomes about how we CHOOSE to see it, and choose to respond, and what we choose to get out of it that transforms it into something positive for ourselves:)
Yes – allll in the name of health! I think it’s great that you balance fun with work – and that certainly looks like a lot of fun. I’d love to go to that cafe – plus, TARO paste in a crepe? That sounds awesome.
I don’t know if I would change anything if I had the ability to. That would mean everything else would turn out different. Every painful thing I’ve gone through has taught me so much about life and about myself that, though painful, I wouldn’t change. Everything happens for a reason – cliche, but so true.
Those crepes look absolutely delicious! I would like to go back and change so many things (little things that helped make MAJOR decisions) that happened in high school.
Hi Sophia!
I don’t know that I would change anything, not saying I don’t have some regrets I’d just be too afraid it might change the many blessings I have already
I loove crepes by the way! nom nom
I need to steal some of your extroversion…I’ve been SO bad about it lately! And I always want a bite of that crepe. Heaven.
Yes, Canadians ARE awesome!!
You’re not Canadian. Your passport belongs to heaven!
So glad to see you enjoying moments like that with friends! I love hanging out with friends, too. It’s the bonding that brings the food we enjoy to a higher level, no?
And so happy to see you happy
I LOVE BEING ERICA!!! I recently watched the whole series on Canadian Netflix. I’m just as shocked that such a great show came from Canada. My only regret in life is that I didn’t start university the traditional way. I took 6 months off after graduating high school and lived with my boyfriend. I really wish I’d started right after high school and lived in residence for the more traditional experience. I feel like I missed out on a lot of great experiences and friendships because I didn’t do that. On the other hand, my life probably would have taken a MUCH different path had I done that!
I haven’t watched Being Erica – sounds awesome
And that crepes, OH MY!! Send some over… Please!!!!!
Aww…girl you are too sweet to link to my bloggie. Thank you for thinking of me! <3 <3! Yay to Canadians, and equally yay to Americans as well because through blogging I've been able to "meet" some pretty awesome Americans. I honestly wish I had enough money to fly around the world to meet all my bloggie friend's and FB friends whom I've never met yet, and emphasis on the "yet".
Four Leaf sounds awesome. I think I'd fall in love with the Sweet Velvet at first bite. It sounds heavenly. Too bad you couldn't taste the green tea though, I know how much you love green tea. And seriously, what is up with is Asians and eating late at night eh? It's almost like it's the Asian thing to midnight snack. I find it funny that some restaurants even have their own midnight snack sections on the menu. Haha. Mind you, those are some of the best foods. Teehee.
Oh dear, if I knew then what I know now. There would be a few things I'd change, but I'm also happy where I am. Life could be better, but it's already a lot better than many less fortunate ppl in the world, so I'm not complaining. Gosh it's been a while since my last visit. Sorry, dear. You know I always try to come back and catch up as much as time permits though.
LOL – hey, we have some good shows in Canada!! Haha – I think our Canadian Idol is better than the American version! There are a few other good ones too, but not much for sitcoms or dramas.
Thanks for the shoutout – I like being awesome
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