Do you ever wonder if you have different personalities, each reserved for a different place?
Well, I do sometimes, because I’m a blogger and a blog-reader. And I wonder…are some blogs just a visceral manifestation of a person the blogger wants or tries to be?
I mean, maybe you’re this cheery, witty person when you’re online writing snarky tweets and Facebook updates. But maybe in person, you’re really a moody social recluse who hates everyone. Or maybe it’s the other way around—maybe you’re a self-absorbed, ditzy bimbo online writing “ooh I baked my little pooey-wooey a yummy pie-y today!” updates, but in person you’re really a wise, thoughtful individual with marriage problems.
Who knows? Nobody really knows who the blogger is truly like until she or he meets that person for real. Some people say you can’t know who a person is with one meeting. That may be true. But I think you can tell who a person isn’t with just one meeting.
I’m wondering about this because I’ve been having quite a lot of meet-ups lately.
The previous weekend before the last, I met the wonderful Andrea and Andy. And we actually had a conversation about this. Andy told me the person he portrays on his blog is the perfect husband and father he aims to be. In my opinion, he’s awesome in person too. He’s hilariously self-deprecatory, good-humored and easy-going.
Since we were on the subject, I asked Mimi if I came off different from my blog in person. I figured she would know the best since she’s the blogger friend with whom I hang out the most. “You pretty much get what you read,” she told me.
And then last weekend, I got the pleasure of meeting Kim and her husband John.
They drove five hours from Las Vegas to visit Los Angeles for a couple days and then stop by Barstow for a photography shoot.
I don’t really remember how I got to “meet” Kim. I think it was through a mutual twitter friend. We shared a few friendly retweets back and forth, started reading each other’s blogs and pretty soon emailed each other occasionally. I liked Kim for her no bull-shit attitude, and her blog is a fresh breath from other “foodie” blogs. Plus, she’s got a great writing voice that I admire.
About a year later, here we were. Seeing each other face to face. Over a late lunch/early dinner of “WTF?!!” pancakes.
Kim had read my post on Jacks N Joe and said she just had to eat there just so she could brag that she had the “What-The-F—?!!” pancakes. Hahaha, this is why we get along—she’s my kind of gal!
Now, I’m going to reveal to those who have never had blogger meet-ups before, how it really is like.
Even though Kim and I glibly shoot frequent emails to each other in banter-style, it was strange to meet each other for the first time. It’s like…wow, you’re actually a real person. A person with flesh and a voice and a husband.
A lot of times, I think it’s the voice that surprises me the most during first blogger meet-ups. It’s so weird to hear a real voice other than the “writing” voice on the blog, because you are so freaking used to “hearing” this person’s voice in alphabetical words.
But after a few minutes, you ease up.
Especially when the people you meet are a fun and wacky and real couple like Kim and John. Kim is almost exactly like her blog, so it didn’t take long for us to warm up to each other.
And another thing: don’t underestimate the power of a camera. Always bring your cameras with you when you meet-up with a fellow blogger, because that’s just how you instantly bond.
The moment you all raise your cameras together and during the next few silent minutes as you start shooting simultaneously, the sound of your cameras clicking becomes the sound of your friendship clicking.
Kim, of course, ordered the “WTF?!!” Pancakes:
Funky-shaped pancakes with whipped cream cheese and fresh berries.
John ordered the Pudgy Elvis:
Buttermilk pancakes with bananas, peanut butter drizzle and whipped butter.
I ordered the Z’s Prime: 
Five stacks of buckwheat pancakes with whipped butter.
Yes boring. But it was too early for a real dinner and I wanted to keep it simple and basic.
Oh and there were also sausages that look mighty vulgar:
John shot this picture of me; I had just finished shooting and had lifted my head in time to see him flash his camera at me.
That crooked smile right there says: “oh shit, now I have to smile.”
During the course of our meal, I was glad to recover the fun, casual banter with Kim again, but this time with audible words.
And then I realized how much better it is to have a relationship in real three-dimensional form. You can inject so much more nuances and humor into your words, and you get to see immediate reactions. Plus, she and John are a hoot!
I asked them to define what true marriage is like, and this is what they demonstrated to me:
A glimmer of the perfect wedding ring, thrust into the hubby’s face. Tee hee.
John is a full-time photographer, so he’s got this super fancy camera (and a Nikon, may I smugly add). He and Kim one day hope to open up their own photography company. I wish them both the best!
The next day we met up early morning with Ellie. We climbed up Griffith Park to get that grand view of Los Angeles, except the weather turned out all hazy and we could barely read the Hollywood sign.
(Courtesy of John!)
(Courtesy of John again)
At least we got nice shots together. 
After a brief glimpse of the fog and the Griffith Observatory, we drove west to Santa Monica Promenade. While lazing about at Starbucks (Kim is a die-hard Starbucks-only fan), we somehow got into the subject of the difference between an 2-D blogger and a 3-D blogger again.
Apparently, I’m shy at first. I didn’t even know I was showing it, but the expressions on my face always give me away. “Sophia, did you know that you’re really transparent?” Ellie told me. “All your emotions show on your face.”
And then she and Kim proceeded to capture all my expression on camera.
(Courtesy of Kim)
What? Really? That’s how I look like?!
(Courtesy of Ellie)
No no I refuse to believe it.
(Courtesy of Kim again)
I look freaking scary. I’m freaking myself out just staring at this hideous picture!
This is how I think look like in my mind:
Sweet and happy and charming and slightly dumb (what are you doing, Ellie?). I need to practice this expression and paste it on my face 24/7. I mean, there are times when I really need to tell a lie. How can I tell my lie when my face betrays me like this?
So, when you read this blog, I hope you envision that face in your head. An always-nice, always-smiling person.
To be honest, I was a grumpy, distracted person that day at Santa Monica because I was on an agonizing phone call with AT&T and on the verge of screaming at the dimwits. Having Ellie, Kim and John beside me helped me from actually doing it, though. I don’t think I would have been able to cool down as easily if not for them physically next to me.
Especially after I bit into Ellie’s super delicious white chocolate macadamia nut cookies that she sweetly baked for us all:
I cheered up so much when I bit into these cookies after 5 hours of being put on hold by AT&T that I immediately texted Ellie sending her my many thanks. See, bloggers understand. Sometimes, you just need a cookie to feel better.
So. After all this ramble, I guess my conclusion is this: Some bloggers are different from who they seem on their blogs, while others are pretty much the same. But most of them are even more awesome in person.
Also, maybe if I get botox one day, I can freeze my expressions into a single ideal one.
Just kidding.
Question of the Day: If you’re a blogger, are you different from who you are on your blog? How so? And if you’re not a blogger…have you ever wondered if the blogger you follow is the same or different from what you read?
Related posts:
{ 51 comments… read them below or add one }
GREAT topic. I try to be genuine to who I really am when I blog. After 3.5 years of blogging, I feel like I’m as true to me as I can be. Of course, it’s impossible to really do that. We all know that who we are is much more complicated than a snapshot, than a few words that we post daily. That’s why you can connect with someone in online dating, meet, and realize the chemistry isn’t there. There’s a special something in real life that can never be captured. That’s what makes us alive!
Wow this was an awesome post! I always wonder if I come off the same way in person as on my blog. After spending the weekend at the HLS, I noticed most people were in fact the way they are on their blog, aside from a few being a bit shy. I loved your thoughts and really loved the hilarious photos.
You’re just as friendly and lovable as I imagined you’ll be! And funnily enough, your voice was exactly as I expected, too. Loud and bright and unique.
I seriously wish I could reach through and give you one giant hug! I had so much fun with you and wish we could have spent more time together. Your recap is beautifully written and a wonderful insight to who we really are when the laptops are turned off and we see one another face to face. And I so agree about the initial awkwardness until that first camera clicks. Such a wonderful comparison (oh gees, look at me going on like a total sap). I am so thrilled I met both of you and could enjoy what little time we had. We’ll be back eventually. Thanks for getting together with us.
First of all, you are cute as hell and I want to come hang out with all the cool people you meet.
Second, you might not want to do that, as I’m pretty much exactly the way I am on my blog. I might be a little quieter in real life if we’ve just met or I’m in a “professional” setting or whatever, but otherwise what you see is what you get–for better or for worse. (Except I don’t smoke asparagus or dress like a hippie everyday. Just on the weekends…kidding.)
Awesome post! I often wondered about that. I have met two and spoke to two on the phone and I was surprised each time. I wonder if they felt I sound different on the blog. In a way, the truth can be a little scary, don’t you think?
Good question!
I shudder to think…
In terms of your voice, however, is it weird that I read you without a whisper of an accent, even though I know you have one?
The photos on this post are the best!!! LOVE your expressions! All of them!!! They make you you! And you are awesome!
Sounds like a really fun meet up!
I’ve now met quite a few bloggers in “real” life, and I can always see the blog persona somewhere. As Janetha said, especially at bigger events, I think some people have surprised me by being shy (and they appear so not shy on their blogs). Personally, I try to keep my blog pretty much a happy place. It’s my place to focus on the positive (well, at least most of the time). So once you get to know me, you’ll realize that I can get quite intense, and stressed, and that I worry way too much (but I’m working on it). I don’t think that comes across on my blog, and I don’t want it to come across. There is enough of that in my “real” life… Oh, and I think Andy is WAY cooler in real life than on his blog. But I may be a bit partial…
I agree! Andy is way, way cooler in person. And I definitely sensed a great individual with many thoughts and experiences from you in person– it was nice to get to know the deeper side of you.
I’ve only met two bloggers before and while one was exactly as she came off in her blog (Leah from Why Deprive – she rocks), the other one.. was not. At all. And not in a good way either. Still, I’m not letting that put me off and can’t wait to do more meet ups because I know that most bloggers are similar to how they portray themselves on their blogs. Or at least I hope they are.
I’m pretty much the exact same in person as I am on my blog except that I swear a lot more. Other than that what you see/read is pretty much what you get.
Wellll I hope you don’t get terrified of the faces I make at the camera if we meet. It takes people some time to realize that I never just smile for the camera.
I love the idea of your blog voice being the person “you want to be” like Andy said. I can kind of relate to that. A lot of people assume I’m really talkative and bubbly based on my blog, and I kinda wish I was in real life, but truth of the matter is that I’m reeeeeally laid back. And mumble. The best part about meeting bloggers though is that it is never as G-rated as it is on their blog. There are things I have no problem saying to a small group of bloggers, but to thousands of readers? No way. I think the honesty of blogger meet-ups is the best part
I think on my blog I have cleaner hair. That’s probably the biggest difference.
I’m not kidding. There’s a reason i don’t blog a bunch of pictures of myself.
We’re probably all different than we seem on our blogs. I think the reason why we don’t talk about our problems is because no one would really want to read about all of them. Also, blogging can be a way of getting away from them for a while. Or maaaybe, it’s just hard to tell what a person is like over the internet. I don’t really know, I could probably keep rambling on about this forever though.
Actually, my blog’s not the “perfect” father/husband side of me, more a simpler, occasionally thoughtful, side. I think it’s to counteract the “weird” label I’ve had most of my life among the 2-3 people who sorta knew me back in the day.
That said, perhaps it’s time to revisit the question, “Why do we really blog, and read others’ blogs, anyway?”
Thanks for the shout out again! To be Sophie-ized is always a tremendous honor!
I think I’m pretty similar to my blog
I want those Elvis pancakes!!! OH yeah!
THIS RECAP WAS AWESOME!!! DARN why can’t I think of recapping like this?! O well!! We’re all different in our gifts lol.
I remember we’ve talked about this quite a bit. And you totally made my day when you told me the cookies were awesome. Only awesome people get awesome cookies. 
jk!
And I would LIKE to think that I’m the same in person and in the blog….at least, you thought i was pretty much the same!~~What I’m saying is, I definitely don’t try to be any different in writing, but if I do come off that way, it’s only b/c of certain limitations with writing my thoughts out.
First things first. You are gorgeous. I know. Who cares. BUT I do hope at some level it absorbs especially because you know I know you are beautiful on the inside and that shines out in your words.
For me and my little blog — well…you have to read it cover to cover for a while because I am multi-dimensional but when you do? It is totally me. Through and through. I feel naked almost.
BUT you have to read more than once — at least that’s what I think. And read the comments because sometimes my posts are –they come across weird. One time I wrote a post ranting because I was sick –and tired of my ED. So the post was me poking fun at my diet and making fun of myself. Going back I realized (with the help of my mom) it came across like “Look at me, I am anorexic and sick because my body is screaming. But heck no I will not eat pasta. Instead I wil eat a 25 calorie soup and a smoothie but alas — all is well because I went home and ate rice cakes.”
My mom was like “WTF? This is a cry for help! No wonder you get these comments!”
http://missymiller.wordpress.com/2011/06/27/not-a-b-r-a-t-t-y-girl/
Um.
NOT what I meant. But there you have it.
You have to know me to dismiss the “offness” of one post. Thus the dangers of blogging.
I actually get nervous about this EVERY time I meet another blogger! I feel like I display a very distinct personality on my blog and I’m always worried I’m going to be disappointing or not as funny in person! Though I will say that I am equally ridiculous and will say anything to anyone at any time. I think you’re even more wonderful in person. If that’s possible.
Such a great topic! I’m fairly new to the blogging world and these very same thoughts were some of the first that entered my mind when I started my blog. At first I actively thought about the voice behind my words and tried to make it replicate who I was in my everyday life, but I soon found that letting words flow freely from my mind without much thought or restraint perfectly represented me.
Sometimes I come across a blog, read a few posts, and think “omgosh this person should be my best friend!” (not to be creepy or anything haha). And I’m sure many bloggers feel that way occasionally. But the reality is exactly what you stated in this post- you need to meet the person in order to figure out if they are, or aren’t, like their blogger personas.
Nope, I’m pretty much like what you read on my blog. Busy, no-nonsense mom.
I’ve never met other bloggers who I didn’t already know in person. However, I used to be a voracious correspondent when I was younger and had about 20 penpals at one point. Meeting people who I had corresponded with for years is not too dissimilar from meeting a blogger in that you only know them in a limited fashion. In my experience, you experience a facet of an individual through their writing, but not the whole. In terms of those penpals who I met, all of them were dramatically different in person except one (the one I ended up marrying who was exactly the same as he presented himself). The three who were very different were women. One was charming and lively when talking on cassettes (we didn’t write, we exchanged monologues on tapes, as did my future husband and me) and utterly socially inappropriate in person. Another was dull as dirt in writing but fun and great to be around in person. And yet another was intelligent and engaging in writing and totally obnoxious and narcissistic in person.
There’s a lot to be said for the fact that you only get a piece of someone in their writing. That piece is not false, nor is it calculated to present a particular favorable side of themselves. It’s real, but seeing only that aspect tends to mislead. I’m absolutely authentic in my writing, but I also am private about certain things and I can’t be responsible for how my messages are received by people who are intent on passing them through their particular interpretive filter. There are people who see a lot that isn’t there based on blog work who wouldn’t have the luxury of judging you so harshly if they knew the real you.
I wouldn’t mind meeting some bloggers that I know, but I know from experience that people are not who I think they are nor who they present themselves to be in social situations. One of the awesome things about emotional intimacy with others (family and close friends) is that you see how multi-faceted people really are, but that’s not for the folks out there on the internet. This is as it should be.
Funny, when I meet up with other bloggers I feel like I’ve known them forever!
hmmm I have two blogs. I think they pretty much are “me”. I met a girl once who said I talk like I type. Chaotic Balance- my random thoughts blog is more about life, where God has brought me, where He’s taking me, ok sometimes dragging my stubborn ass kicking and screaming but still.
I don’t know I certainly think that my blogging is very much a part of me
I’m not sure if I’m different…it would be really interesting to know! I do wonder what the bloggers behind the blogs I follow are *really* like.
Oh, and the chubby elvis/what the f pancakes look scrumptious! I don’t think I’d be able to decide.
What fun! It’s so nice to see that you keep it real! Those pancakes all look amazing!
That was really cute to read – I love watching humans have interpersonal relationships. I know I come off like a snarky 40 year old female humor blogger, but I’m actually a robot created by Stephen Hawking to try and simulate human emotions. This made my little robot heart expand.
I think you’re authentic Sophia, you’re exactly like your blog when in person. I love that! I think I’m the same… I write what I feel and act as transparent as I think it’s appropriate!
What a fun post – I love all the pictures!!
I think I’m a more intense version of myself on the blog than in ‘real’ life: all of my innermost feelings tend to spill out there, where as in reality I am far more shy and reserved. I am still true to myself on my blog, and do tend to be as mercurial and pessimistic in reality as I am there! I do find interacting easier online though, because it gives me *slightly* less room to be impulsive and make a fool of myself.
I’ve always thought you’d be very similar to meet as you are on the blog, simply because you never try to present some ‘perfect’ vision or version of yourself…perhaps I’m naive, but I usually believe what I see on people’s blogs, and thus become very frustrated with myself for not coming up to their standards.
xxx
This is such a good topic. I feel like I portray myself accuratley on the blog….at least that’s what I’d like to think!
Yeah, I’ve definitely wondered what a blogger is *really* like. I think it’s normal; like you say, we can portray ourselves as anything through writing but it’s much harder to do it in person. I don’t know how I come across. Quite negative is the immediate thing and I am. I’m worse for real, I keep a lot of my super negative thoughts out of the blog. However, I can come across quite cheery when you meet me though, it’s only when I’m really good friends with someone do I unload all my “what ifs” etc. I am much more sarcastic and cynical too – that’s very hard to get into a blog without sounding like a total jerk.
I love how you picture a bloggers voice – I don’t think I’ve ever done that! I wonder what I “sound” like!
I imagine you to be just like you are in the blog. You are so honest and open here, that I can’t imagine you pretend.
Pudgy Elvis looks and sounds out of this world. All the pancakes do actually. I’d be there all the time!
This is a very thought provoking post Sophia! I’d have to say my blog is pretty true to the real me – although I do tend to keep it on the happy side – I feel like I have to be the strong person in my family and if they see any bit of weakness they would panic! I love the picture of you on the pay phone!! Hugs!
Those Elvis pancakes need some bacon on them!!!!!
I have no idea if I come across the same or different from how I am on my blog …
What would you say?
Sophia, you are hilarious…love the pictures and all your facial expressions…I could not see you differently from what I understand of you from the very first time I met you from your posts and I am glad.
Be yourself…always
Pretty much LOVE these pictures of you! So cute.
I try to stay true on my blog. Especially since I know some of my local yoga students and colleagues read.
Those Elvis pancakes look amazing, but they need BACON!
I envision you are a silly, happy go lucky kind of girl. I have never had a blogger meetup, but I imagine it would be much easier in a heavily populated area like you live. Looks like you all had a blast!
Great post. I often wonder the same thing – would the person writing the blog be the same in person?
I think I am pretty much myself on the blog – and I get calls from my sister’s if I do have an off day and the tone of the blog changes, “What is wrong? You didn’t sound like yourself today.”
I love posts like this that get you thinking.
This is a great post! Since I’ve just recently begun writing with my real uncensored voice instead of what I felt people would WANT to read, I wonder if I’d be what other bloggers would expect when they meet me. I’d love to do a blogger meetup once I make more “blog friends” and see what they think. I imagine I’d be suuuuper awkward at first – it generally takes people a while to warm up to me and “get” my personality…but maybe if they’d been reading my blog, they’d be mentally/emotionally prepared to meet me HA! It looks like you guys had so much fun. And I want to shove my face in all of your pancakes.
this was so fun! i have yet to meet a fellow blogger, but i’d love to. i like to think i’m pretty much the same in person as i am on paper, but who knows?
love all the goofy pics!
1) Nothing beats a friend in person. They intensify and surprise and sharpen and soften the NOWness of you
2) Maybe I need to amp up my photography skills. I write better than I shoot. But my goodness…the perspective you all have on the food is absolutely superb!
3) We all censor. In person is harder than online. But it is a part of our social dance, who we want to be always emerges. And yet, the more that others meet the “real” me, the more I love the real “them” A great post
to be honest, I’d be totally disappointed if people weren’t the way they were on their blogs =(
LOVED the photos! I was grinning ear to ear as I scrolled through. And YES, I totally have different personalities. I think my virtual blogging self is nicer than the real life me
!
Hey Sophia! Sorry I’ve been MIA for so long here. Just got back from a vacation a week ago but am still having problems with my internet…ARGH! Just wanted to quickly drop by since my connection seems to be behaving and see what you’ve been up to. Loved this post. It had me smiling and laughing all the way through. I always wonder about the blogger behind the blog and who they really are. Although most the bloggers I follow I feel that they’re exactly who they prtray on their blogs (you of course being one of them). Cannot wait to finally meet you one day! Sounds like you guys had lots of fun. Loved all the pics you all took. That’s what blogger meet ups should be like, just carefree and you being yourself. Thanks for sharing all the smiles and laughter.
I actually took a course on self and social psychology and we talked about this! Basically, one theory is that we have one personality, or self. However, different aspects of the self are encouraged or discouraged depending on the situation (who we are with, what we are doing). This is exhibited in the ways we talk, stand, even emote! A lot of times it is the people who are around at a given time that tend to dictate this. On a subconscious level, people have been found to mirror one another.
I’ve only met one blogger face to face, but she is just like her blog. Oddly enough, she said she was surprised by certain things about me! I asked her to explain but she couldn’t put it into words. She said it wasn’t a slight to me or my blog though, so I took it as a compliment. I think it has to do with the fact that I don’t write a whole lot on my blog about certain things. There’s a lot more to me than what I post every day! My blog is just kind of a grab bag.
i try to write exactly what’s on my mind in the way i’d say it on my blog. sometimes i try not to get as personal as i want to be. but sometimes it’s just more convenient to spill my heart out when the world is literally at the tips of my fingertips. often, i want to talk but don’t know who to talk to, so i do what any questionably sane human would do and write it out for the whole world to see…. blogging is strange. but friendships are so nice! i’ve made a lot of friends from blogs in the past, and i think it’s amazing. kinda like internet dating…but less sketchy
oh…and those pancakes made me drool.
I love this post! First of all I love that you guys had such a great time together even though you were dealing with a stressful situation and I love that you guys bonded over cameras and food!
My blog is very true to me in real life. I’m pretty bouncy and giggly in real life. I recognize that makes me sound like I’m 5, but well… I think it’s possible I am still a kiddo deep inside.
Love your post. I’m the same on my blog as I am in real life for the most part, only in writing I’m slightly more eloquent because I can go back through and cut out most of the cussing. In real life I drop cluster f-bombs like language was a country that had royally ticked me off. I’m working on that though because I’ve realized how less intelligent it makes me sound so it’s getting better. Some still slip by but it’s not as horrible as it was…sometimes.
I love your real voice (still waiting for another vlog :p). It’s funny that in your recent post you commented on Sex and the City because when I first started reading this I kept imagining your voice as being kind of like a Chinese Carrie only more young and perky. haha.
I love this post. I think its so true about your voice on your blog. I hope mine sounds like me and i only write when i want to sound like myself because i’ve reread entries that i’ve written when i wasn’t feeling like writing and those are the ones i never post. all the weird things i say on my blog are weird things I’d say to anyone who knows me and wanted to talk to me about the food i made or ate.
I’ve been to one blogger meet up and it was with one blogger friend who i had met a couple times previously. It is fun and strange at the same time. One of my blogger buddies is now a very close friend of mine and i think we feel like we’ve known each other forever just cause we’ve been following each other for so long. Those pancakes look so good. I really need to go to that place.
cheers
I know I wanted to be more anonymous with weight loss, and that’s why I created Pauline (after my Mamaw who was diabetic). I’ve always been an overly-optimistic person, but I don’t feel like I’m quite that person anymore. I am careful not to share something that might cause others to look down on another person, though I’m not quite as good at that since I went private~little things slip in there every once in a while. I don’t know how accurate my blog is to me in person, because IRL I struggle soooo much more than I used to. ???
Adding~I feel more private on my blog and am a bit more open with the downers than elsewhere…