(Edited to add: I posted a note of apology regarding some things I said in this post that may have offended people)
Some people get pretty surprised when they find out I have old-fashioned values.
But then, at the same time, there are people who get surprised by the things I’m willing to try, so I’m not going to bother wondering what kind of image I send off to different people.
Anyway. Call me a prude all you want, but I don’t think being “old-fashioned” in some ways is all that bad. I agree times are changing, but that doesn’t mean certain principles don’t.
For example. Men are controlled mostly by what’s in their pants. It’s been that way since humans existed, and it’ll be that way even in 4 millenniums later when humans inhabit other planets.
In case you think I’m sexist, I have something to say about women, too. Women will always be catty, jealous peacocks. The world be a scary place if it was ruled only by women.
So there. There are biological and existential principles that are the basis of who we are as humans that will never change, no matter how advanced the technology and how liberal our thoughts become.
That said, let me share with you a few traditional values I have.
1) Abstinence: I’m constantly surprised by the fact that virginity before 20 years old is an abnormally nowadays. Please don’t think I’m judging. But I personally will still stick to the old “no sex before marriage” rule.
2) Decency: As in, clothes. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to strut outside in low-cut tube top with a skirt the size of an envelope. First of all, I severely lack the endowment of womanly curves, and second of all, we all know what people think about when they see you dressed like that. Personally, I’d rather be unnoticed than have a pot-bellied man leer at me like I’m a piece of yummy steak.
3) Cookies.
When it comes to cookies, give me a simple, old-fashioned sugar cookie and I’ll be happy. Why, even the traditional Korean cookies (which would probably be unfamiliar to most) are good enough for me.
If you asked me to choose between a chunky chocolate-banana brownie and a plain oatmeal cookie, I’d choose the oatmeal cookie without hesitation.
That’s why I never really make cookies. I like them boring and predictable.
But when Jackie told me she was coming up to visit Mimi and me more than a week ago from San Diego, I knew I had to do something special for her. After all, the girl was spending 5 hours in the car just so she could grace us with her presence. The least I could do was bake her some nice cookies.
I knew Jackie had her bout with veganism and she’s now a vegetarian who dabbles with occasional vegan stuff, so I wasn’t exactly sure whether she would want her cookies to be made with butter and eggs.
Thus I decided to be safe and bake her vegan cookies. Preferably with chocolate.
Here’s what I made her:
Vegan Chocolate-Chip Coconut Cookies 
Preheat oven to 350 degree Fahrenheit. In a large bowl, mix together the flours, baking powder, salt, and cinnamon. In a separate bowl, mix together the sugars, oil, vanilla, and soymilk. Add the wet mixture to the dry mixture and combine. In fact, the dough still seemed raw and soft, and I was afraid they might just break apart. Thankfully, after 10 minutes of cooling, they firmed up considerably and held their shape without any problem. My housemate Kenny happened to saunter out (I think he just smelled the baking), and I offered him to try some. “Interesting,” he said, biting into his first cookie. “Wow, I can really taste the coconut. The texture is interesting.” And he didn’t object to eating a few more, so I guess his “interesting” meant “yummy”. Question of the Day: What are some traditional values you stick to?
Mix in the other ingredients. Add a tablespoon of soymilk or so if the mixture is too dry. 
Grab a small portion of the dough and roll it into a ball. 
Place the ball on cookie sheet. Continue with the rest of the dough until you’ve used it up. Press each ball firmly to flatten it. 
Bake for about 8-10 minutes. Do not overbake. 
The whole process was quick and simple, until I got to the part when I had to roll the dough into a ball. I had a bit of trouble getting the dough to stick together, but otherwise everything went smooth…until I was baking the dough, and they just didn’t seem done even after 10 minutes. 
When I took at bite of these, my first reaction was: “Hm, not bad.” But the second cookie made me go, “Urgh, I’ve had enough.” 
When I gave the cookies to Jackie and Mimi, they both LOVED it. At first I thought they were just being nice, but they both asked me for the recipe. But then, they are people who are used to vegan, gluten-free, and raw baked goods. 
But I think I’ll pass baking with coconut flour the next time. And leave out the yucky chocolate chips. 
Actually, I think I’ll just stick to my boring ol’ sugar cookie.
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{ 40 comments… read them below or add one }
So I am have done some wild things in my twenties, LOL I am 21 now! But I have an old fashion mindset and I am WITH you on the cookies!
Ive read your blog for a long time and consider you to be a very smart and articulate young woman. Thats why it kind of makes me sad to read that you think all women are catty and jealous and thats just how it is. Quite a misogynistic statement…its too bad you dont have more faith in your own gender.
I’m sorry I offended you, Michelle. I take back what I said…it’s a stereotype that I stated as a fact, and that was wrong of me. I apologize.
Hmmm I don’t know if this is considered a “traditional” value but I limit myself to at most 2 drinks (if any) whenever I go out. I don’t want to be THAT GIRL you know
. And the cookies look good! I’ve never had vegan chocolate chips but I’ve had vegan carob chips.
I think both your male and female readers are going to be pretty insulted by what you just said. If you’re going to say something that rude, at least make sure it’s true, and not just some shtick repeated from Men’s Health and Cosmo.
Stick to the food next time.
I’m with Michelle on this one. I’ve been reading your blog for awhile, and have always been surprised that I enjoy it so much since I presumed that a lot of our opinions and values are most likely very different.
I rolled my eyes at the men being ruled by their penis comment, but gasped at the catty, peacock statement, especially at “The world be a scary place if it was ruled only by women.” It is because of that mentally why there are so few female leaders; people think that that’s how we all are! And how could we possibly hold leadership positions, or run for office or *gasp* president when we can’t get ahold of our emotions and “catty” attitudes? I’m still cringing…
I’m cringing too. I should have re-read what I wrote before publishing it. Then it would become clear to me that this post was not meant to be written, much less posted. I’m sorry for my thoughtless words, and I just wrote an apology post. I hope you read it and accept my apology.
Eh, about the decency thing? Men leer at women like they’re pieces of steak no matter WHAT they wear. Seriously — I don’t think it’s very possible to be more covered than I am on a regular basis, and I still get “the look.”
<3 <3
Maybe that’s because you’re just plain gorgeous!
Hmm, this is an interesting perspective. I’m glad you shared though – that is what your blog is for!
I don’t know if I would agree 100%. I think men and women are a lot more complicated than that, and there are many different factors that play roles in how we interact with one another. But I do agree that there are elemental “urges” that play driving forces in some of our behaviors.
It does kind of scare me that the average age for losing your virginity is dangerously close to the age when I first learned the “F” word!
I think we tend to notice extremes around us and tend to believe that they are indicative of what all people or situations are like. If a couple of young men leer or make sexual comments to women, we assume all men are like that. We don’t tend to notice the men who do and say nothing, but they exist.
If we have friends who are catty and jealous, especially if there is more than one of them, we tend to become guarded and wary and project those feelings onto other women. We do this because it is emotionally safer than offering trust and risking being hurt. We don’t tend to give people a chance to demonstrate that they are different, but they exist.
I’m a lot older than you, and I’ve lived in three very different places – the American northeast, the American west, and Japan. I have met men who are ruled by what is in their pants and women who are catty and jealous, but they are a distinct minority. I’m not saying most people are good and lovely people, but rather that each person is driven differently rather than in accord with these stereotypes. Stereotypes allow us to protect ourselves from pain though, so we employ them. For example, men who can’t get a girlfriend conclude that all women are superficial and greedy. It’s a way of mitigating their pain and lowered self-esteem by dismissing all women as being of lower value and unappealing character.
I’m no stranger to this tendency. Certainly living in Japan and being objectified on a daily basis in a variety of ways has stretched my capacity not to stereotype to the limit, but it’s important to put experiences into proper context. Yes, every time I walk out of my house, a half dozen people might stare or say something about me because I’m a foreigner, but I may walk by hundreds of people. I can’t believe all Japanese people are xenophobic or bigoted because of the rude behavior of a minority, even when it would comfort me to believe that because it would tamp down my sense of alienation by casting them in an inferior light. I know how you feel, but I also know that it isn’t serving you well to feel that way.
Wow. That was a very wise and beautifully prosed comment. Thank you so much. I agree with you completely. I think usually there are basis for stereotypes like what I said in this post…but allowing ourselves to project it to every person only brings negativity. In the end, it’ll just be my loss. Thank you for reminding me of this.
On a more superficial note, hee hee hee. I had a friend who is 6’2 and Jewish with LONG hair down to his waist. We certainly stared at him in Korea! He took it nicely though, and joked that he should make them pay for every pat and stare.
Stereotypes are true for a reason, but that doesn’t mean that each gender is ruled by those two categories. I’ve met men who are just as catty and backstabbing as the Gossip Girls, and I’ve met women who are very open about their desire to have as much sex as possible. I hate that so many women perceive men as such lustful people- yes, they probably think about sex far more than many women, but that doesn’t mean they can’t control their head below the belt with the head above it. Likewise, I’ve come into contact with my fair share of catty women, but I also have many girl friends who have absolutely zero patience with it. To be honest, I think that romantic relationships have a way of mellowing both sexes, and forcing men to distinguish love from sex and encouraging women to lighten up. I understand where you’re coming from, and I think that we all might be taking this too seriously, but truthfully I don’t think that those stereotypes are true for the large majority of people at all.
That being said, I love old-fashioned values. I want nothing more than to be a mother, and when I tell people this they often roll their eyes at me. I think that being a good mom and raising grounded children is more difficult than many paying jobs, especially in today’s world of loose morals. I’ll admit to having gone through the skank clothes phase as a young teenager, but what you say is true- I’d much rather dress more conservatively with just a bit of femininity, than have men gawk at my legs and non-existent chest.
Hope that didn’t come off too harsh- I’ve always loved and admired your honesty and candor, it was just a bit extreme for me in this post!
Not harsh at all. You’re absolutely right. What I said was out of line. Thanks for the gentle reminder, Gabriela!
I’m (obviously) just commenting on this post now… but I agree with your cookie stance. Plain oatmeal cookies > anything fancy and exotic any day. (Although I would never call chocolate chips yucky. Ever.)
you know what sophia? you shouldn’t have to sugarcoat anything you feel or think! Kudos! people are just suppose to read opinions and it doesn’t mean that you need to be attacked. either way, i still liking reading your posts
I’m happy that you were honest in this post. I’ve read sugarcoated boring posts in other places but this is why I am one of your readers! I understood that some of what you said were in jest.
And it takes a courageous person to put up an apology post. Don’t let the haters get you down!!
But on a side note, the elected leader of Burma, Aung San Suu Kyi, is a girl! But then the military put her in house arrest for I think 20 years.
I can see why you’re apologizing but I don’t agree that you need to: I think it’s entirely clear from the context that your statements are part of the biting, witty sarcasm that characterises your blog. But that’s just my opinion and I’m no stranger to offending people
You always show humility when you perceive yourself to have made a mistake. I really wouldn’t worry about it any further.
Incidentally, I also agree with all of your values and statements, particularly the first traditional value.
i’m not offended AT ALL by this post (and i’m being 100% serious and 0% sarcastic) i think that stereotypes exist for a reason. i think that both men and women should work on changing those stereotypes because they are unflattering. and unfortunately it’s the bad apples that keep them going! so keep stating your opinion girl. that’s what blogging is for
i’m old fashioned with my writing. as in i send letters to people. i love being actual pen pals. letter writing (and handwriting!) is going so out of style and i hate it. whaaaaa.
Peace, love and good will towards men. WTFudge EVER! It’s your blog. I understand why you feel the need to apologize but there are more readers who love you for this I believe
I think it’s a great idea to wait before marriage…wish I would have.
I’ll never wear an enevelope either. I swear hitting 35 you start to see things you never thought would happen to your body.
I don’t think you have to apologize – it’s your blog and your thoughts are your own. You certainly touched a nerve, though! So much so that <10% of your post is all some people can see.
Hmm I think I’ve kind of always known that you felt this way, so this post doesn’t offend me at all. I think what you really meant to say was that you just don’t have patience for catty superficial girls who are like that and, unfortunately, many girls out there act like this because they think it is the way they are supposed to in order to get guys to like them (at least that’s how I’m taking it!).
I can’t say that I’m the most old fashioned about many things. I am definitely in that “before 20″ statistic, although I definitely agree with the whole decency thing. And, well. I’ll never turn down a cookie. Old-fashioned or not!
Oh goodness, I didn’t take your men and women stereotypes as fact or what your opinion is in individual cases but as a general judgement that is not far from the truth.
I’m sort of old fashioned myself. I maintained chastity until I was married…..but I WAS married at twenty so I guess I may contribute to the statistic of losing it early. haha
I agree with your ‘old fashioned’ rules of no sex before marriage.
I’m sorry, but I found the manner of disagreement with your generalized statements to be a tad rude. Let’s be real: MANY men do think primarily with their lower head and MANY women are catty witches. I’m sorry, but it IS true even if one is offended by such a generalized statement.
As with anything in life, there are exceptions to every rule. I know men who think with their hearts, not the little man in their pants. I know many women; yourself included, who are kind, loving, generous, and far from catty. What people fail to understand at times is that stereotypes and generalizations exist for a reason. By and large, they are in fact true with the aforementioned exceptions.
I do not feel you should have issued an apology to anyone. This is your blog to write as you see fit. And a civil disagreement is fine but appearing to attack your intelligence for making a broad generalization is uncalled for. I read your blog for the biting wit, your ability to convey your thoughts well, and your strong personality. Apologizing to others panders to those who appear to not be able to read between the lines (and I say that with no disrespect for the record). Your blog. Your rules. Period.
I really think this whole thing was blown out of porportion! I mean, it’s obvious you weren’t trying to make a “fact” in those statements. It’s your humor, and people need to chill out! Gah!
Honestly, if you start filtering yourself just because you think everything you say might offend someone, I might have to stop reading! Haha! I read it because I like YOU and I like YOUR opinions and honesty. Be you!
<3 Tori
tee hee, I don’t find this offensive at all but I take most things with a grain of salt. I pretty much agree with you! I love that you have old-fashioned values and wish more did. One that comes to mind is being pro-life. It seems most the population has moved so far from this that it seems ludicrous to them to consider NOT killing a baby if they have any reason why it is unwanted and it makes me sad. I guess people are all different, but to me as soon as something is alive, killing it is murder, even if it is not aware of what you are doing.That’s just me and one of the old-fashioned values I have. More power to you, you little virgin!
On the bright side, I think your traffic will be up!
And I do think women are catty. Face it, we are catty! I”m catty! All those who put you down can suck it.
P.S. Today I was struggling with how to make everyone happy in certain situations and your post and the responses to it really made me realize it’s impossible! Thank you! I hope you realize that too, and don’t take the criticism too personally.
I have some old-fashioned values too
The hubby`s grandma once told us how happy she was that we didn`t live together before we got married – we hadn`t even considered it!
Sometimes I’m glad I’m not too outspoken, but if I was, boy I’d offend a lot of people. I’m really opinionated and extremist and I often think things, and then wonder, “What made me think that? That was totally uncalled for.” Sometimes it pops out and I offend someone, but generally it doesn’t. I believe that stereotypes have some truth behind them, and that first impressions/generalisations matter a lot. I like to think I don’t judge, but I do, and that is a fact, and that won’t change. I’m like this about a lot of things: things are the way they are for a reason – maybe God intended it that way, or maybe it’s just human nature, but you can’t change human nature and the fact that there ARE men out there who think with their pants and there ARE women who are competitive and catty. BUT, we always have to remember that the pants-thinking men and the catty women are people too, and probably feel many of the same emotions that we do. That’s what I remind myself daily: if I see someone looking dishevelled/old/weird on the Subway I’ll judge them first (“ew, they look gross”), I remind myself in my head that they have been through much more than I have, and I have no right to judge anybody.
Yeah. Got a little off topic there. But I hope you understand my point.
I don’t understand what is wrong with this post. You are probably expressing how you felt after watching a show, not referring to ALL Women and men out there. Maybe some of your readers don’t understand you well enough but I do. =)
My views are similar to yours, except I give men a bit more credit. Actually a lot more credit, I believe men to be extremely more capable than woman (keyword is “capable”). Of course there are outliers, but I definitely believe that men should be the leader. Women have repeatedly proved to me that they are exactly what you’ve said. Of course women can be very intelligent, but their emotional hang-ups and animalistic tendencies are always present.
I’m like you too though, I don’t say it quite right. And it’s difficult to generalize the whole human race. But there are definite trends in both sexes.
I’m kinda surprised at the reaction this post had for some people. I actually was catching up on your blog so I read the apology first and got a little excited thinking about what could have been so racy as to have such a reaction. But when I read this post, I took it as sarcastic and funny instead of misogynistic–definitely not as titilating as I thought it would be!
I love that you hold a lot of traditional values. I think it’s important to have standards for yourself in how you want to live your life. I went a slightly untraditional route (lived with my bf who I eventually married) but it has worked out for me.
As far as cookies are concerned, give me a chunky chocolate chip cookie any day of the week. Yum
I don’t think you have much to be sorry for, they were your opinions and you have every right to express yourself on your blog however so you choose.
While I do not believe what you said to be factual for all people, I have met many, many others who adhere to those instances of men and women you talked about. It’s why a good bit of female friends I have, don’t like other females and we’re all alike in that instance. I work in a workplace with nothing but women and you would not believe the way some of them act. I think Bowling For Soup put it best with ‘Highschool never ends.’ lol.
I think there is nothing wrong with traditional values, to an extent. I myself am a hodge podge of modern and traditional thinking. As long as you do not hold others to your own value or ethical system (for you will be sorely dissapointed if you do, lol) nor judge them for it, I don’t see much wrong with what you wrote.
And I agree with Stephanie, I was really expecting something really racy and juicy….and instead I got a tidbit about virginity and vegan cookies! :p lol.
Sophia, I think the reason people, as I do, appreciate your blog more is because some topics can become so touchy and you still talk about it. I’m not say I agree with you or disagree with you about your comment on women or men, but what DOES upset me is that fact that your apologizing for what you said. Don’t take it back!
It’s interesting to me that some of your commenters prove your point. People who were “offended” by what you said about women but not so much about men are in fact (in my opinion) being “catty.”
I find no problem with your remarks! That is kind of weird how the cookies didn’t spread out and brown like traditional cookies! I guess if Mimi and Jackie loved them that’s all that matters right!?
You should NOT have apologized, not only have you pandered to the masses.
You have also slightly weakened yourself as a person.
god damnit, I just realized I posted this comment in the wrong entry.
Thanks to get sharing this info. Yet it will likely be actually good to acquire some other specifics!