I’m ashamed.
I’m ashamed to admit that food can affect me so much. I’m ashamed to admit that I probably live to eat, rather than eat to live. I’m ashamed to say that when it comes to food…I can get teeny weeny bit…emotional.
This fixation on food is one thing which I can’t seem to shake off. I’ve been doing some thinking, wondering if food has always affected me so much, even before my eating disorder. And the answer is yes.
I remember one night crying my eyes out when my mother failed to buy me roti prata as she promised. I was only appeased when my dad fed me some sticky Korean rice cakes, on which I lost my first baby tooth.
I remember throwing a huge tantrum when my mother refused to take me to KFC. I screamed that she was an evil child-abuser for feeding me nothing but disgusting rice and Korean food (God, I was such a brat!).
I remember getting into clawing, hissing, kicking catfights with my best friend because I didn’t want to share my bag of Asian crackers. The bag ended up getting torn, its contents spewing all across the floor. We both broke each other’s glasses, and then made up while picking the crackers off the floor together (and eating them).
Yes, I’m a glutton. Out of the 7 Deadly Sins, my biggest sin probably has and always been gluttony. And I was reminded of my gluttony again one afternoon when Mimi and I visited Lemonade again for a final review.
Remember Lemonade? The new posh lunch cafe that opened in our new posh Campus Center? Yeah, I wasn’t done with it.
Lemonade has such an extensive menu that it would take several trips before you get a clear grip of what their food is about. At least, that’s what Mimi and I told our editor so that we could make a second trip and have it comped by the Daily Trojan. 
Lemonade, of course, ought to be famous for its titular lemonades. But I detest lemonades and Mimi only wanted their sugar-free kind, which was not yet available. Thankfully her roommate tried one, and apparently it’s so sweet it’ll spazz you out. So unless you want a sugar shock, stick to the savories. 
Actually, I lie. Their desserts are pretty good, too. 
Lemonade really knows how to market their products. They showcase all their pretty desserts out near the registers just beyond your grasp, so that it’s almost impossible not to grab a cookie or cupcake at the last minute. 
Come on. How can you say no to these? 
You can just hear them whispering seductively into your ear, beckoning you with sweet promises of a damn sexy party in your mouth. 
Ooh, baby, you know you want me… 
Come, honey, let this hot mama show you proper good time… 
Please tell me I’m not crazy. Please tell me you hear them too.
Anyway. These sultry voices might be promising me wonders in my head, but I faced several disappointments that day at Lemonade. First of all, they were out of this: 
Quiches, fat and dense like a cheesecake. I took this picture the first time I was here, and was really looking forward to trying this on the second trip, but it was all gone.
I swallowed my disappointment, but was hit by a second fail: they were out of banana mascarpone cake. Gah!
Third disappointment: I asked for a cup of ice, which Lemonade gave me just a week ago on my first visit. But this time, it was a different cashier, and she stared a full 50 seconds down at me before haughtily snapping, “We don’t do that. We don’t just give out ice.”
To which I should have answered, “But obviously you like giving out attitude, bitch!” but instead mumbled an apology and backed out (why the heck was I apologizing?).
Fourth disappointment: The lentil soup. 
Just. Look. At. It. 
Does that look like a lentil soup to you? More like the residue of ditch water left behind by painters. It had no substance. No texture. Just colored, barely flavored liquid.
Fifth disappointment, and the final straw was the Ham & Manchego grilled sandwich I ordered: 
Take a careful look at it: 
Do you see what’s wrong with this? Yes. Where’s the ham? The manchego? What is an effing chicken doing in my ham sandwich?!!
Yes, those might have been the exact words I raged out that afternoon. Actually, I don’t exactly remember because I was about 8 shades of purple and on the verge of ripping my unwanted chicken sandwich into shreds, but I know some expletives were involved. How dare they screw up my order? How dare they give me a damn chicken sandwich?!!
I think I might have terrified Mimi, who froze up and stared at me with concern.
“It’s okay. Why don’t you ask them to switch it for you?” she asked soothingly.
“Screw it,” I spat. “Whatever. Whatever whatever.”
Pause for a few minutes, with me scowling at my cowering sandwich. Mimi tried again. “You sure?” she said. “You might as well go ask, if you’re gonna be so unhappy about it. I don’t want you being pissed off all afternoon.”
And that’s when I suddenly felt ashamed. What was I doing, throwing a hissy fit over a stupid sandwich? I am almost 23 years old, for god’s sake, and I was acting like a 4 year old who wasn’t allowed to eat ice-cream before dinner.
So I got up and told the Lemonade sandwich lady as politely as I could that she made a mistake with my order. Within minutes I was back with my new Ham & Manchego sandwich, happy as a clam: 
I feel ridiculous for admitting this, but my mood just got so much better when I returned with the right sandwich. And it jumped sky-high when I bit into my delicious sandwich: 
Ham, Manchego cheese, and Quince jelly on Rosemary bread. It was hot, it was salty, it was sweet from the sticky quince spread, and it was cheesy. My grin was back. Mimi grinned back, glad to see the bitchy Sophia gone.
Our second entree order was even better: 
Red Miso Beef Short Rib braise. 
You heard me. Red miso. Beef short ribs. Braised, for hours and hours until the meat is just melt-in-your-mouth tender, and saturated with its own juices and the thickest, most concentrated flavorful sauce. 
The flesh just pulls apart with a poke of the fork. “We have to recreate this,” I gasped. I don’t know how, but goddamn it, I’ll figure out how.
The lunch ended on a sweet note with two kinds of bars. Mimi chose the first one: 
Peanut Butter Milk Chocolate Crunch: a brown-sugar Rice Krispy crust, peanut butter fudge filling, and milk chocolate ganache on top.
I only took a few nibbles out of this one, and then took it home to freeze. When served cold, it was actually really yummy, despite the fact that I dislike chocolate and peanut butter in my desserts.
I chose the second bar, an Almond-Coconut bar: 
Rich shortbread crust, a gooey coconut macaroon topping with almond slices.
I think I liked the taste of this one better, though I preferred the texture of the first bar when it was frozen.
So. That’s my little story of how a chicken sandwich made me lose my temper. Mimi won’t let me forget it; she still jokes about it almost a week later.
But this incident sure made me think: why do I get so affected by something I poop out within 12 hours? Anybody share a similar experience as me?
Question of the Day: I understand that not everyone is a glutton like me. So…do share. What is your deadly sin?
P.S. Check out the review on Lemonade that Mimi and I co-wrote together! I think we make a dynamic writing team. The editor liked it so much she wants us to do more joined reviews! Wheee~
P.P.S. A giveaway coming soon. Stay tuned! 
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“Come, honey, let this hot mama show you proper good time… ” <– haha my food speaks to me like that too
If I had to pick a deadly sin for myself…it'd be wrath. I'm a nice person but if you do wrong to me/other good people then I'll be pissed!
You always do such thorough reviews on restaurants–I feel like I am actually there!
I wish I was there..gosh, all of those desserts have me drooling profusely haha
I am literally keep my salivation in check, the desserts look so awesome!
Right there with you! Haha, when I was a kid, I would flip the fuck out if I didn’t get a Happy Meal after school. Lol, yeah, that was my standard snack if my grandparents were picking me up.
Didn’t we say we’d add some gochujang to the yellow miso to give it a kick?
Oh my goodness I am a total glutton, I wake up, spend my day and evening thinking of food, food has a weird hold on me also, lol
great review, I woud have gotten mad also, if they messed up my order, glad you took it back…
sweetlife
Thanks for visiting my site. I am definitely of your ilk. As you may have read in my New Mexico posts, I was pissed for a week because I wasn’t getting my food groove on! Ugh! I felt so violated!!! Nice blog. : )
Food can definitely affect my mood. My perfectionist personality means that if I bake/cook something and it turns out horribly I’ll get really upset.
Today my deadly sin would definitely be sloth! My lack of sleep for the past week or so has left me feeling completely lack luster. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day!
ha ha ha… was a nice read Sophia.. You write creative and different style of writing… Though you criticize yourself it point towards others. Your disappointments were guanine. I am never disappointed, as I do not get time for that. All I have is 5-10 minutes and I have to get my food inside so I could complete my work.
The next times you meet that attitude woman just give a punch from my side. She should behave politely to the customers and never stare at them. Whatever be the circumstances of the punch we will face it as a mass movement against such people. Hey! Just kidding… don’t beat hear for real.
I like your blog… but time is my enemy and I am fighting against it. Let us see when I could defeat it
I am sorry about all your food drama. That was a lot of annoying-ness in one visit, and I would have definitely given you ice–i mean really, its not like it costs money! unfortunately I have hit on most of the sins in my life…but none of them stand out as more prominent than the others…
UGH, i totally understand that emotional connection to food, for better or worse
i get really upset when i forget that certain thing that would’ve taken the delicious factor of my meal 20x higher, and sometimes after i order something i’ll think DAMMIT i should’ve asked for________ instead, or asked them to hold out on the______. on the other hand though, it’s wonderful because when something hits the spot it HITS.DA.SPOT. i can’t stop gushing about how awesome my meal was for the rest of the day (or in some cases, uhm…week(s)), and if a recipe really pulled through, i can’t help it when my confidence is through the roof! i feel guilty when i realize that physically “it’s only food” but emotionally, it’s SO much more than that. I’m not nearly ashamed as I used to be because I’ve realized it’s simply my passion, and instead of living my life unhappily, i’ve chosen to actively try and embrace it, rather than doing things like apologizing if i can’t stop talking about how perfectly moist a muffin was, or how smoothly a chocolate melted in my mouth. like you, at one point, my relationship with food wasn’t exactly the world’s most romantic love story, so there’s this voice in my head saying “something that you really struggled with in the past shouldn’t make you so happy now” but you know what? IT DOES. AND SO WHAT?
WOO, didn’t realize i had so much to say. anyway. love your blog 
life is for the living, and food, to me, is something really worth living for
Glad to hear I’m not the only one…although I think part of it is because food affect me more than normal, but also because of my personality. I hate when something is not done the way I asked or wanted! It has gotten better, thank goodness, but sometimes I put on that bitchy face + bitchy attitude and it lasts all day long!! >____<
Mimi was right…it was their mistake and if it was me, I would have been pissed ALL day for having eaten that unwanted chicken sandwich instead of the oh-so-desired Ham sandwich.
This almond coconut bar reminds me of the one that's sold in chinese bakeries. I don't know if you know what I'm talking about…it's very buttery, rich and filling, just a bite and I'm gone to Childhood Memories Land.
I love this post (do I say that a lot?!). I think when I was young I was just like you….if I remember correctly. I hated sharing food! In fact, this lasted all the way until only a few years ago, when I realized that when my dad wouldn’t share his food with my mom, it was RUDE! I felt so bad for my mom. So ever since then, I share with anyone
I’m selfish in other ways though, don’t get me wrong….. My time is something that I am very selfish with.
Glad you got your ham. Damn women, remind me never to serve you the wrong order!!
When I was a kid food my siblings and I were like scavengers with food. My mom would shop for the good stuff like once a week, and we all ate it so fast because we knew it woul dbe gone…so we all got a little greedy with it!
i could totally go for some lemonade right now!
Cheese and hot sauce are my two deadly sins!
Glad you went back and got the right sammie – it looks delicious!
Happy Saturday!
lol. good thing you went back and got the right sandwich. wouldn’t want you to us in a bad mood. hehehe… at at least from all the huff and puff things turned around alright.
yeah, never give up until you got the food you want!!! normally they are happy to exchange for you!
I am so jealous about your college life, if our cafe is half as good as yours , I would not cook at home!!! I am hook to the peanut butter cupcake…please, bring some next time when you come to DC!
I’m not sure what my deadly sin would be..maybe greed.. or lust.. haha.
While your reaction was a bit over-the-top, I can understand where you’re coming from. You were already disappointed that you couldn’t get what you wanted and then to get your order mixed up? Yeah, annoying. Also annoying is the rude cashier that wouldn’t give you ice. I don’t understand.. I mean.. it’s water.. frozen into cubes.. what’s the big deal?
Those desserts look amazing. Seriously amazing! I hate when restaurants that serve delicious food have such terrible service! There is nothing more frustrating.
This reminds me of my “eating with emotion” post! I don’t think there’s any shame in being an eater who is emotional about food, as long as you realize that there are certain things — the need for human love, the need for a professional life, the capacity to cope with pain and hardship — that food actually can’t replace or be a substitute for.
I’m getting angry just LOOKING at that lentil soup.
I love it that you’re a glutton. That makes two of us
I could not say no to ANY of the things you posted here. I especially drooled over the manchego cheese.MMMM!
Gluttony is probably my deadly sin, too.
On a more serious note, I’ve always struggled with an obsession with food, an emotional attachment to it. But lately I’ve learned that my obsession with food is usually just masking something deeper; my emotional reaction is actually stemming from a reaction to something else that I’m not fully acknowledging.
Wow, I’d be having a food thing if I was regularily faced with all those choices. I’d want to try them all, simply amazing.
your childhood anecdotes made me laugh! My siblings and I used to fight over food all the time so I can totally relate. Maybe its a korean thing?
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