This will be my last post on Singapore.
Okay, writing that made me pause for a long time. I’ve been staring at that sentence for many minutes, letting it sink in, my heart aching. I’ve only left Singapore about a month ago, but somehow it feels like…years. As if it’s a past distant dream, to which I flew like Peter Pan to Neverland. Did it really happen? It all seems so far away.
I’m still in contact with my closest friends in Singapore. In fact, I only just received a heartening email from Jing Wen, sharing with me how much God is blessing her. And inevitably, we again talked about when would be the next time we meet. To which I have no answer, except to bring up words like “I hope…” and “I wish…”
I miss Singapore.
There are places where whenever you think of it, you think of its luscious landscape, the fun adventures you had there, the wonderful food you ate. But Singapore…it’s not a beautiful tourist hotspot with a rich history. It’s blisteringly hot, stiflingly small, young, and well, rather boring, I have to admit.
But my memories there certainly isn’t. It’s contradictory, because although my days in Singapore seem so far away, the memories I have of it is so crisp-clear. I can remember riding the MRT to Bugis Junction, squeezing in between passengers… 
I can remember the fragrance of food arriving every Sunday during the pastor’s sermon, making several people look impatiently at the clock for the pastor to finish…and then the communion afterwards… 
I can remember shaking out wet clothes from the laundry and hanging it out to dry, just like every other Singaporean living in a flat… 
I can remember the myriads of weddings and funerals that took place under those apartments, celebrating the woes and joys of all races… 
I can remember the busy hawker centers, the intensity with which the hawker sellers stir-fried their food, the intermingling smell of food and sweat as people tuck into their hot dishes… 
I can remember the markets which I’d visit occasionally to score super cheap produce…and the Indian seller who looked up and waved enthusiastically as soon as I took this picture… 
I can remember the citizens, young and old, all coming together to rest or hang out every evening outside their living complexes…the kids playing blithely, the adults sitting heavily after a day’s labor… 
I can remember finally trying the biscuits from Mr Bean instead of the usual pancakes… 
I remember the way they crumbled and melted into my mouth. They were delightful, crumbly cookies filled with a savory bean paste, but pretty expensive at a dollar for a little pastry. 
I can remember the more economical waffle they sold by the place I lived… 
I remember always being tempted by buy one as I passed by; they were so fragrant cooking in the iron! They taste amazing hot and crispy, freshly-cooked. The reason it’s green is because it is flavored with pandan. 
I can also remember the two pancakes a church sister bought me, just because she knew how much I adored pancakes… 
These were pan-fried pancakes topped with different ingredients. One was topped with Mozzarella cheese and ground peanuts… 
…and the other American cheese with hot dogs…
I remember being extremely touched, that she remembered how much I love hot dogs and cheese and nuts! 
I can remember waiting till late at night before visiting the bakeries, because that’s when they would have great promotions on their leftover breads… 
My favorite was the Genie: 
Stuffed with mayonnaise and pork floss, and then rolled in more wasabi-flavored pork floss. Freaking awesome. Or what about the yam bun? 
Soft milky bread, stuffed with mashed and sweetened taro. 
But I can also remember the more traditional snacks, such as this medley of Ang Ku Kuehs… 
Each colored glutinous rice cakes are stuffed with different fillings: salty bean, taro, peanuts, coconut, sweet green bean…Here’s one with the salty bean: 
Chewy, delicious, tortoise-shaped pastries! 
I can also remember munching on these old-fashioned sweets before dinner… 
These are called Haw Flakes, and they are made from the Chinese Hawthorn fruit. They’re really a candy made from dried fruits, and they usually come in these little packets, shaped in thin disks… 
I can remember some lovely fried oily stuff, too. Like this butterfly shrimp from MOS Burger that Jing Wen loves… 
And a huge tray lovely, crispy, spicy curry puffs which we shared during bible group… 
I can remember being envious of all the cool iPhones that everyone seems to tot around there… 
Most of all, I can remember the conversations I’ve shared with my brothers and sisters in Christ, the warm sensation in my stomach and chest as I listened to their testimonies and thanksgivings… 
I can remember so many fine details that I wonder if maybe I dream about Singapore every night.
Wait a minute—What is this?!
I can’t keep on dreaming about Singapore, when right now, I’m living in the United States. I have things to do—I’m a college student in Southern California, I have dreams and a path to run in front of me. I’ve learned and enjoyed much in Singapore, but I have many more things to learn and enjoy here, too.
It pains me to say this, but I need to say goodbye, for real, to Singapore for the time being. Obviously I’ll still keep in touch with the people there—some relationships are meant to be eternal and withstanding of all distance—but I’m coming to realize that by always dreaming of the past and wishing to go back, I’m inhibiting myself from fully enjoying and utilizing the future.
There shall be no sadness, however. I definitely will return to Singapore someday…most likely not within the next few years, but someday. But for now, I shall focus on the now.
So goodbye, Singapore. Goodbye. I’ll see you once again, with new stories and experiences to share.
Question of the Day: Is there a certain place or memory which you find very hard to let go? Which place holds the most sentiment for you?
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The most amazing element of the food from Singapore to me is always the myriad of rainbow colours…the food is just so aesthetically pleasing. Some of it almost looks too pretty to eat!
Scotland has a special place in my heart…my maternal Grandfather was from there and although I never got to meet him, I have visited many times and feel a stronger ‘connection’ to him while I’m there. Plus, the scenery is utterly stunning.
I have to thank you again for your comment to me (I’m like a long-playing record!) You made me realise that, through trying so hard to improve myself and be a better person, I end up resenting others and thus thwart my own efforts…I become a worse person, and inhibit my own ability to improve myself. Stupid paradoxical brain of mine!
<3
~Jess~
xxxxxxx
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Awesome post. You will be back again! The way you speak of the country is just beautiful and I love the photos!
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oh singapore how we will miss you!! AWE yea u will def. be back tho im sure! the food, the friends, the memories, the PLACES! EVERYTHING! what a fabulous journey!
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You’ve just made me homesick for the Philippines all of the sudden. We have similar foods.
btw…you know you can find those haw flakes in many Asian markets. I know they carry them in several Filipino store.
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Great photos…they really show the everyday life in Singapore, and those kinds of photos are the best ones. Simple, honest, and beautiful. I know you will be missing Singapore for a while, but I hope you find new and exciting things wherever you go. I traveled to Peru last year and LOVED it. I still think about it and long to go back.
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haw flakes!!! i used to love those things. they reminded me of firm little fruit roll ups. i once gave them to my manager as a gift and she almost gagged.
just discovered pandan the other day – would love to try that waffle
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I never get tired of all that pretty food! Let’s go to the Korean market when school starts again, yeah?
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Mimi, I am in throes of despair. My place is 1 mile from USC. And I have no idea how to go shopping without a car!
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Hmm…here’s what jumps out at me.
Find a friend with a car and organize weekly shopping trips. And take me along if it’s somewhere cool!
Buy a bike (the place in the UV is pretty cheap).
Find a bus route (I’d go with you!)
If the first option works out, we could make it a fun little weekly outing
Ugh, I’m going to have to get after Mike more often to take me to Trader Joe’s. I REALLY want to get some of those spiced apples that HEAB keeps talking about, and those Ciabatta rolls that Maggie’s mentioned.
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The thing is that I can’t take buses anymore because the nearest bus stop next to my place is still a MILE away…and I can’t lug all my things for a whole mile…and I can’t do this every day, either. And you can’t store much things on a bike without tipping over, either. The only thing is option #1, but I’m not sure I can do that. If you can get Mike to do that weekly (ask me along!), that would be great though…and I’ll treat him to lunch from time to time.
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I love your site! Those waffles look scrumptious, as does that peanut & mozzarella concoction. I’d love to travel to Asian countries someday, but now I guess I’ll settle for NYC’s Chinatown. (I wonder if there’s a Singaporetown somewhere?!) =)
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Sophia, I really enjoyed reading about your journeys in SE Asia! You should consider going into travel journalism…seriously! You have a knack for capturing the cultural and emotional aspects of a place in a personable and relatable way.
The biscuits from Mr. Bean look delicious. I love bean paste-filled baked goods!
A place that is going to be hard to let go is my grandmother’s house in Berkeley. It was recently put it on the market, so I will likely never see it again. My family moved a lot throughout my childhood, but this house remained a constant–a place I could always return to and truly feel at home. I have so many wonderful memories there!
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I love this post the most .
You really captured the essence of Singapore -the food.
I miss you being here , it makes singapore different.. I bet most of your dreams consists of me !
Don’t worry I will send you photos of Singapore every now and then to make you want to come back more !
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Miss you lots and lots and lots…sob…:’-(
I’m just praying that you can come to America so you can spend $12 on an open-faced sandwich! hahahaha!
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Oh phew! I thought you were leaving us for a second there Sophia! Love all the Singapore food especially pandan flavoured things
Singapore does hold a special draw for me I must admit!
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sophia, great post and i am so glad that you are able to leave this as a wonderful memory, but to also move on b/c you have a huge, great, awesome life HERE to live NOW.
some memories will always be amazing in our minds’s eyes. I have trips like that. I have times like that i had years ago w/ Scott. And it’s best for me to honor those memories and then to let them live on as the perfect memories they are…but to go on continuing to live in the present. it’s a balancing act
my post today and coming clean/being real…so glad you enjoyed. we ARE on opposite ends of the foodie spectrum but one thing we BOTH are is REAL. We both tell it like is, love you girl
xo
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Great question! But I don’t have an answer right now. I feel like all places I visit linger in my mind for a while.
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oh my gosh, those pancakes look amazing!
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I am still looking for that special place, thanks for sharing pictures from yours.
The food is so interesting and beautiful. Those pancakes! I have seen nothing like it.
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I can empathize SO much. It YEARNING! I have the same sentiments towards certain places in Europe. It breaks my heart to see pictures of the cities or remember my times there.
These experiences make you into the person you are. I completely understand the ‘heart wrenching/breaking’ feeling that comes over you. It is so polarizing. You are glad to be home, but you yearn to go back… It’s not easy! WOW way to save these amazing pictures for last! BTW you truly are BEAUTIFUL! I love that picture of you behind the plate full of cakes !! XO Barbara
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I can’e believe you still have so much to share about the trip when you have been home for a while. I am still working on getting settled too and I may have another trip coming up. You have some amazing memories, some amazing friends, and some extremely amazing eats to remember from your trip. I am glad you had a good time.
My fondest memories and those I miss most are the years I spent at my summer camp. I am lucky to have contact with most of them on facebook.
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OMG I love haw flakes! They remind me so much of when I was really young and my family would buy probably 20 packs at a time cause I’d be able to finish one pack in two days.
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Another wonderful recap! I think so many memories of places we go involve the people we are with and the insights we gain while we’re there and so much more than just the “sights” (or lack thereof) a particular locale may offer.
Oh my God I want late night Singapore bakery discounts. I inhaled yam buns in Thailand! They are wonderous!
And wowsa the pancake with cheese and peanuts?! Must make!
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the food in this post is outrageous. officially jealous.
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The haw flakes bring back memories! I miss home!
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You’r killing me with all these pictures. Did the good folks of Singapore pay you to advertise because seriously reading your posts makes me want to jump on the next plane and head back.
I am behind on your posts and have just found out I missed some – my reader un bolded them, which was my way to keep track – grr! Looking forward to catching up
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