To Be Ambi-Social

July 8, 2010

in eating out,God,My story,singapore,travel

Sometimes, I wonder if I’m anti-social.

You see, I like solitude. A lot. I probably can go several weeks by myself and not feel the least bit lonely. My favorite time of the day is closing myself up in my own room, enjoying my own private space to do whatever I’m doing. I also intend never to get married, because the thought of sharing one room and bed with someone for the rest of my life scares the hell out of me.

I’m trying to change that.

No, I will never be the wild party-goer, a social butterfly with huge groups of friends, blending myself to different social groups like a chameleon. And I still don’t want to get married. I am who I am, and God gave me this private personality for a reason.

But there comes a time when I do feel rather out of odds, and that my persistence on my own “private space” can be quite detrimental to myself. In that regards, I realize that I need to tailor myself by sometimes forcing myself to socialize more, and to give up my stubborn daily routines when the situation calls for it

Thus, I’ve decided to be ambi-social: I’ll still enjoy my solitude, but when it’s time to socialize, I’ll give it my all and enjoy the most out of it.

Actually, I realized this even deeper during my summer trip to Asia. Within the month and a half, I’ve socialized with different people more than I’ve ever socialized during a whole year in college. And you know what? I’ve enjoyed it, and I’ve learned so much.
IMG_4469 There is a reason why God didn’t make man to be alone. He may have created Adam as the perfect man, but Adam still needed Eve in order to be happy, and to truly enjoy his life. In the same way, as much as I love being alone, I cannot live without companionship, and I’d be missing out on a lot of joys and blessings without it.
IMG_4281 I certainly gained many, many insights and blessings from all the different people I met during my trip. Whether they be old, young, female, male, fat, skinny, tall, or short…each individual held such unique, precious beauty in my eyes. No single person was the same; each had their own background, circumstances, personalities, gifts, and appearances. And I thought every one of them were such a miracle, a physical manifestation of God’s wisdom, love, and grace.
me and liwen That does not mean to say that they were perfect. Quite the contrary— I saw for myself their different flaws and yes, there were quite a lot of traits that may have bugged me at first. But when you view them as each individual specially woven into life by God…even their imperfections become kind of…adorable. Have you ever experienced that? I highly suggest you try it—it’ll make your social  life so much easier.
IMG_4271 I’m backtracking a bit for this post. The pictures I show here will all be from Singapore, ones which I did not have the time to post beforehand.
IMG_4552 All the best, because looking at all the pictures have let me reminisce once again about the wonderful people I have met, people who have left lasting impressions on my heart…and stomach, of course. From food bloggers
IMG_4488 …to faith bloggers
IMG_4242 …to close friendsIMG_4691 I sure ate really, really well during this trip!

And to think I used to say I’ll eat “anything but Asian cuisine”…well, as we all know, “Asian cuisine” is entirely different when actually eaten in, well, Asia…with well, Asians. Just speaking the bare truth, my friends.

I think the time I miss most, is probably those wacky weekends I shared every week with my best friend Jing Wen. On the last weekend together, I let Jing Wen choose the venues, and we went to her two most favorite restaurants.
IMG_4821First one was Sakae Sushi, a place that sells sushi (duh) and all things Japanese. The cool thing about this place is the sushi conveyer belt which winds through the dining area and the kitchen.
IMG_4837Each plate has a different color which indicates different prices, and all you need to do is pick and choose, and then pay a final bill tallied by the number and color of plates on your table. Another cool thing is that you can order through a computer in front of you, and the server will just bring you your dish when it’s ready. Cool, huh?

We ordered (and picked up) many many things, so let’s hope I remember what they are. First, raw salmon sashimi:
IMG_4819 After that I wanted something hot, so I ordered a crabmeat chawanmushi:
IMG_4822 Chawanmushi is a savory egg custard that is steamed with different ingredients. Mine came with real crabmeat, and it was so freaking delicious—smooth, rich, and luxurious. I ordered another one because it was just so good!
IMG_4824 And then, a shrimp tempura sushi wrapped in egg crepe instead of nori:
IMG_4825 Next, an Inarizushifried tofu pouch stuffed with rice, egg, seafood salad, and salmon roe:
IMG_4827 Not a tofu fan? Try it marinated and fried and stuffed like this! A guaranteed pleaser!
IMG_4828 And then, okonomiyaki, or pan-fried Japanese “pizza” topped with savory sauce and Japanese mayonnaise:
IMG_4831 Crunchy, custardy, slight sweet, very savory, and hint of tanginess…perfect! We ordered another one soon after.
IMG_4830 And to round off our feast, some cha soba, or green tea soba noodles:
IMG_4834Because everything tastes  better in green tea…
IMG_4835  Look at Jing Wen’s happy, contented expression!
IMG_4833 We ended the meal with some diet coke to aid the digestion:
IMG_4836 And for dessert, we headed up to Jing Wen’s favorite dessert cafe, Bakerzin, for a selection of macarons:
IMG_4840 This was the first time I’ve ever tried macarons, and I’m pissed that I didn’t try it sooner! They are so addictive…crunchy, yet chewy, and not too sweet at all.
IMG_4842 They came in interesting flavors too, like strawberry basil cream, rose, cherry blossoms, yuzu, and teh tarik. My favorite was the strawberry basil cream and the teh tarik. Jing Wen got her own selection, too, but they were all chocolatey ones. Yuck.

Though Jing Wen and I don’t share the same taste in sweets, we definitely like similar savory stuffs. The second restaurant Jing Wen took me was Crystal Jade Kitchen:
IMG_4850 Now, I’ve already reviewed their other branches before, but this one was the best trip yet. Seriously, one of the BEST MEALS I’ve ever had!
IMG_4856This particular branch specializes in Hong Kong-style dim sum and Cantonese cuisine, so obviously you’ll see famous Hong Kong dishes like roast duck:
IMG_4852 We were started off with complimentary boiled peanuts:
IMG_4859 Peanuts taste so indulgent boiled like these! They’re not crunchy like the roasted ones, but soft and silky like chestnuts.

Next we had char siew pastry puffs:
IMG_4860IMG_4861  Flaky pastry, rich char siew filling that was not too sweet. Amazing.
IMG_4862 We also had the obligatory pork siew mai:
IMG_4870 Hands down, the best siew mai I’ve ever had. No excessive oiliness, or unappetizing texture of tendons. Just light, flavorful, and juicy.
IMG_4871 And finally, the highlight of this highlight of all meals in Singapore, the star of the star, Stewed E-fu Noodles with Minced Meat and Bean Curd in Spicy Sauce:
IMG_4864 Holy. Freaking. Cow. I am so freaking glad I let Jing Wen choose the dishes, because I would never have thought to order this myself. I detest soft noodles and tofu—or at least, I thought I did until I tried this wonderful, perfect dish!!!
IMG_4866AAAAAAAHH! My mouth is just watering thinking about that glorious, impeccable taste of these noodles. The sauce was just wonderfully rich yet perky; the minced meat was just crumbled juicy bits of carnivorous delight; the tofu was crispy and deliciously spongy; and the noodles…slippery, silky, and entirely absorbent of all the ethereal flavors in there.
IMG_4868 Jing Wen, thanks a lot. I’ll never be satisfied with another noodle dish again. This experience trumps all!

You see? The lessons you learn from other people! If I didn’t have these wonderful friends with good tastes, I would probably have not ventured out of my own fixed idea of what I “like to eat” to try something so scrumptious. Jing Wen, you have done me a great deed, despite your crazy, wacky smiles.
IMG_4849 Question of the Day: Are you a socialite? What is something you learned from another individual which have made a big impact on your life?

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{ 76 comments… read them below or add one }

tina July 9, 2010 at 7:33 am

i completely understand how you feel. that’s what i love about your blog. you are so honest about your emotions and life with strangers. thank you for your post and i look forward to coming back!

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Melinda July 9, 2010 at 8:02 am

Great looking food as always. I had some macaroons while in Spain and they were so good. As for social and not so social feelings, I think you do a good job of balancing especially if you prefer to be alone. I think sometimes we feel like only we can understand ourselves best but them we forget how many people out there want to try and understand us better.

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pigpigscorner July 9, 2010 at 8:52 am

I do enjoy solitude a lot too =)

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Lauren @ Healthy Delicious July 9, 2010 at 9:53 am

oh my that salmon sashimi looks amazing!!! I could go for some right now.

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Crystal July 9, 2010 at 12:28 pm

You look so happy in the these pics! I’m probably halfway in between as far as being a socialite. I love being around friends and family in big groups, but I have to be in the mood. Yet, I also love my quiet time!

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Mimi (Damn the Freshman 15) July 9, 2010 at 12:34 pm

Aww, we have the same problem! We’ll just have to fix it by hanging out more often.

I like to be alone–I inherited it from my dad. But we’ve agreed there is a problem with being alone too much–it allows you to be locked in your head with your thoughts, and makes solitude increasingly seductive. I’ve noticed it in myself, though I have no idea if you would ever had the same problem. Still, for me, it makes me attempt to be more social.

Ah, I’ll never tire of all your pretty Asian food pics.

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jenn (Bread + Butter) July 9, 2010 at 12:59 pm

I like to social every once in a while. I’m usually very quiet and reserved, but I do like to meet new people and have out and such. It’s always fun as you get to know the people around you.

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Christina (Dinner at Christina's) July 9, 2010 at 1:23 pm

You are too cute Sophia! I’ve never tried macaroons either, but they look so pretty! Thanks for sharing w/ Friday Firsts! :)

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Lynne @ CookandBeMerry July 9, 2010 at 7:44 pm

Just tagged you for an award over on my blog!

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Gertrude July 9, 2010 at 8:42 pm

I’ve been called anti-social a lot! I love and need a lot of alone time. But I do enjoy spending time with small groups of people — be it friends or strangers. So long it’s no more than about 5 people, I’m good.
heh. I love noodles! I know which branch of Cyrstal Jade that is and I’m so going to order that the next time!! :D

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Alycia @ Fit n Fresh July 9, 2010 at 9:01 pm

Omg those macaroons and pastries look SO GOOD! And I loveee okonomiyaki! One of my close friends in college was from Japan and she made these for me mmm I just might have to find a recipe somewhere. I adore you blog and all your cultural posts! (:

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Valerie July 9, 2010 at 9:47 pm

I’m no social butterfly either. But like you, I am slowly trying to open up to people coz there are so many gems out there just waiting to be discovered and known! Friendships, all unique in their own ways, add so much more color and meaning to life.

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Veronica Miller July 9, 2010 at 11:43 pm

I would have never guessed that you were anti-social. I’m shocked! You are always meeting new people and hanging out with your Church group–how can you be anti-social? I admit that I am anti-social too. I have to force myself to do things with others once or twice a year, for fear of becoming a complete hermit. usually the most I do is go out Wed nights for Bible study and Sunday for worship. Ridonkulous. If I didn’t feel pressure from society to be with others to qualify as normal, I’m pretty sure I would NEVER go out except for worship and bible study. It’s hard to answer your second question but what comes to mind immediately is my Mom teaching me to always strive for perfection. It is actually kind of mental to do this, but if I hadn’t learned that from her, I wouldn’t do nearly so well on my artistic endeavors (mainly cakes & cooking/baking–yes, I view that as art too! I mean, you have to make it look pretty, don’t you?). I never reach perfection of course, far from it, but if I weren’t trying to, everything would look sloppy & unfinished. Like my bed–LOL! I defintely don’t strive for perfection with housekeeping, which I also learned from Mom. We are either perfectionists or slobs. No middle ground. As always, loved the food pics. I’m astounded you can remember what each dish was and what it tasted like weeks after you had it. A true foodie!

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Simply Life July 10, 2010 at 3:18 am

oh my, all your food looks amazing!

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Jackie (Peaces of Earth) July 10, 2010 at 5:27 am

Ambi-social…I like that. :) I, too, enjoy my alone time. Very much so actually. Sometimes being social feels forced, but I think I’ve found a happy balance. As long as I get my alone time I can go out and be social and give it my all. :) It reminds me of Into the Wild when he realizes that “happiness is only real when shared” because what would life be without companionship and love??

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Errign July 10, 2010 at 10:09 am

I can be quite the social butterfly…when I am in the mood. When I am not in the mood, B refers to me as a hermit.

I so miss nigiri & sashimi from Taiwan – stuff here just doesn’t compare!

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Barbara July 10, 2010 at 5:35 pm

I love ‘me time’ but I do tend to isolate and withdraw. I often find that ppl who have or have struggled with ED withdraw the most. It’s the fear of having to explain, or fear of judgement etc. It’s mostly in the head though. Just the thought of the effort you might HAVE to make into explaining certain things (even if it’s not ED) or worrying about acting like you’ll have fun leaves you exhausted and with a ‘screw it’ attitude, it’s too much work and I don’t have the energy. Congrats to you for breaking out of that and enjoying life!

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Susan July 10, 2010 at 7:55 pm

I love this post!! I too can be pretty anti-social without ever meaning too. Days can go by without my speaking to anyone else and I hardly even notice or care! BUT my favourite memories are always those created with other people, so I’ve now recognized that I have to make a concerted effort to put myself out there. I hardly ever regret. I’ve already been more social in this last week than I have been in a while and I’ve loved every minute of it!

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Kerstin July 11, 2010 at 1:06 pm

Wow, what yummy eats! Just wait until you meet the right person – your views on marriage may change :)

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Sami July 12, 2010 at 10:15 am

I can completely relate to the “anti-social” thing. I am content to be in solitude many times as well. I am hoping my views on marriage change too. I think it scares me so much because I like to be in control. I enjoy having my own schedule and being able to do the things I want and feel the need to do when I want to. It’s hard because relationships can be so rewarding, but SO much work at the same time. I think the Bible also states that marriage is not for EVERYONE :) Which is comforting to me, because right now, I can’t see myself wanting to be anytime soon. Also, I feel like if it’s in God’s will for me to find someone, he will change my heart to fall in line :)

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jen July 12, 2010 at 7:18 pm

I appreciate your honesty so much!! it is what is so awesome about you! I used to be more sociable when I was younger but grew up mostly shy and introverted, some things have hurt me along the way and made me close up more. It turned into serious social anxiety, and I am still trying to work on it. I like being alone, but you are right, we would be nothing without companionship and camaraderie. great post. you have such a way with words!

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Michelle @ Find Your Balance July 14, 2010 at 2:04 pm

Acorn jelly? What is that? Very interesting! I’ll tell you something a therapist once told me. When someone compliments you, don’t think, just say “Thank You.”

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Kath (Eating for Living) December 14, 2010 at 11:59 am

I love the concept of ambisociability! I’m a lot like that myself, and introvert by heart. ;) I love my alone time, but I have started socializing more and was surprised how much I’ve learned from other people.

Everybody specially woven into life by God – I liked that a lot! I use to think that everybody was a universe on his or her own. It’s a miracle.

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