I can’t speak for all Singaporeans…but I find that the majority of them are pretty soft-spoken people. I didn’t really notice this, until I came back to Singapore from America, and found myself having to strain my ears to hear what some Singaporeans are saying. In contrast, when I came upon some Caucasians here, their roar of laughter and bellowing voices were a rude shock after having had gotten used to the more subdued tones of the locals.
I’m not saying that either culture is right or wrong, polite or impolite. It’s just an observation. And I find it intriguing—how geography and culture can play a role in the details in a person’s personality, such as voice tone and social behaviors.
If there is a word to describe the majority of Singaporeans using their own slang, it’s that they are a bunch of “paiseh” people. It means “to be shy, to be fearful, to be uncertain, to be embarrassed.” Give them a compliment, and they will blush and try to object. Enter a classroom, and you won’t see many students raising his or her hand. Assign them an important task, and they will start protesting their inabilities. Show a bit of affection, and they will shuffle their feet awkwardly.
It’s not that they are truly inadequate, unmotivated or boring. Actually, you’ll never find a nation more hard-working, dedicated and humorous. And they do care immensely about their self-image—they’re not called “kiasu” (afraid of losing) for nothing! But it’s almost a social taboo to show extreme self-confidence, and flaunting of one’s gifts and abilities is discouraged.
Basically, you’re expected to be the best, but you don’t want people to know that you know that you’re the best. Get it? Yeah, I’m confused, too.
But I’m not Singaporean—so I will give praise where praise is due. Even if I might make the following two soft-spoken ladies very very “paiseh”: Liwen and Suyun.
Liwen and Suyun are one of the most “paiseh” ladies I know. But they have no reason to be…because they are also one of the most extraordinary people I know! I mentioned them briefly on this post, but let me re-introduce them to you. This is Suyun (and me):
And this is Liwen (and me again), whose house I am staying right now: 
I’ve never heard them laugh out loud in public, or brag about their many talents, or get into debates or join public discussions. They are reserved, quiet, and avoid the limelight if they can. Well, God had other plans for them.
Liwen and Suyun are both deacons in our church. Being a deacon is no easy task, and both of them balked at the idea at first. But in the end, though the responsibility was daunting, they both accepted their duty. And the funny thing is, even while Suyun was protesting, she was already worrying about what to wear during the day of anointment. I find that hilarious, but also admirable. They might verbally refuse, but in their hearts, they always accept what God asks them to do. A year down the road, and they have already accomplished much for the church. 
Liwen is now working full-time ministry, maintaining the church’s Sunday message blog, leading the music ministry, and taking art and music classes in order to better serve the music and children ministry. And this lady can sing. And draw. Freaking well. 
Meanwhile, Suyun also co-leads the music ministry. She’s an amazing pianist, so she plays for all the church events and celebrations. She even composes her own praise songs, and authors her own music ministry blog as well.
In the society I’m in, it’s encouraged to be loud and vocal about what I want and what I do. I certainly am one of those driven people who is too clear about what I want, and I’ll grab at every opportunity I have to make it happen. But I find it humbling to see that even without such active pursuing, God still somehow lures out people to serve Him and display their gifts, despite the fact that they may be hidden in the backstage. I also find it respectable how they perform their duties silently—yet expertly.
So even though these two ladies are “paiseh” and perhaps easily overlooked, I’ve learned something incredibly valuable from them: Though they may play such a pivotal role in the church, they do it stealthily, without fuss, and entirely for God, not man. That’s a true server’s heart indeed!
A few days ago, we decided to have lunch together. I pretended that they were too “paiseh” to ask me out so I performed the first move by inviting them out. Except, Suyun ended up treating us.
We went to All-Day Dining Cedele: 
If you recall, I have dined at Cedele before with Valerie and Grace, but this is a different concept. Instead of being a bakery/cafe, it serves as a restaurant, selling all-day breakfasts and more hearty meals like pasta. 
We went to the branch in Raffles City, and found it pretty empty. Which was perfect, because imagine me trying to hear Suyun and Liwen’s delicate voices over the loud noises! This place was more like an open-air indoor restaurant, with soft dim lights and a clean ambience. They also had an open kitchen, so that we could spy on our chefs: 
As soon as we opened the menu, it was my turn to be “paiseh” because the prices were freaking expensive!!! No wonder they did not provide prices in the online menu! I was tricked by all the delicious-sounding choices on the menu!
Oh well. It’s not like the price is any higher than an average American family-style restaurant. I considered just ordering soup, but I saw the ridiculous amount they priced for a small bowl of soup and just decided to order what I want. I got the Rosti Sea Bass: 
Seared Sea Bass, Potato Rosti, Grilled Eggplants, Coriander-Tomato Salsa, and Garden Greens dressed in Balsamic Vinaigrette. 
Wow. No wonder the price was high. This was pretty fancy stuff! And the sea bass was cooked perfectly—crispy on the outside, light and tender on the inside. Perfectly seasoned, too! 
The Coriander-Tomato Salsa was definitely fresh-chopped, none of that jarred stuff. Each juicy, fruity flavor burst in my mouth…it’s the kind of salsa you can’t helping eating by the spoon. 
The potato rosti was a bit different from what I expected. I was expecting the typical shredded potatoes packed into a crispy pancake, but mine came with thinly sliced potatoes layered together into a block. It wasn’t as crispy as I would have liked, but still lovely and buttery. 
As for the eggplant? The best freaking eggplant I’ve ever had. It was so flavorful, and incredibly meaty. Who needs steak when you’ve got grilled eggplants?
Liwen ordered the Roasted Chicken & Chutney: 
Roasted Chicken Breast, Apple-Cranberry Chutney, Potato Rosti, and Garden Greens dressed in Balsamic Vinaigrette. 
I LOVED the chutney! The chicken was truly succulent, just as the menu boasted, but the chutney was the star of this dish! Tangy, pucky, slightly sweet, slightly savory…amazing! Liwen must have known I liked it, because she generously piled a big mound onto my plate.
Suyun ordered the Lemon-Dill Salmon: 
Pan-seared salmon filet with lemon-dill sauce, a Potato Kumara patty, and Garden Greens dressed in Balsamic Vinaigrette. 
Suyun was a bit ambivalent towards the Potato Kumara at first, because she has never tried it before, but it turned out pretty tasty. At first I thought it was some kind of Indian-spiced potato patty, but it turned out to be a mix of potato and sweet potato patty and herbs, made from a particular sweet potato called Kumara. 
As for the salmon, well, the picture speaks a thousand words. Can you just see and taste how buttery and juicy that salmon steak is? Lemon-dill sauce is a bit contrite, but hey, it’s a classic because it’s good. 
To be honest, I was starting to get a bit heaty and feeling a bit queasy from the greasy, spicy foods of Singapore, so this was a good, clean break. Just clean, simple flavors, served on a real plate with real fork and knife, instead of Styrofoam boxes and useless plastic fork that snaps if you poke at anything harder than bread. 
Cedele has an emphasis on healthy, whole, organic foods, too: 
No, I will never be sick of Singaporean food, but there is such a thing as over-indulgence. So Cedele was perfect recharger, if you will, to get my body all ready for the fantastically heavy Singaporean local fare.
The food did take a while to come out, though, so I entertained myself by trying to get a good picture of Suyun. Do you know how hard it is to get a decent picture of her? Observe: 
This is her usual pose. Relaxed, one arm cropped up, one hand patting down her hair. 
Oops! She spotted me trying to take a candid shot! She bolts up… 
”What are you doing?” She exclaims. “Why take a picture of me?” 
Nervous cackle. “Hahaha! Aiyah, don’t want lah! Paiseh lah! Don’t want!” 
Subdued. “Okay lah. I’ll give you one nice picture!” Pretty smile. Click. And from then on, she cooperated on all the pictures together… 
Isn’t this familiar? Hm…reminds me of a certain deacon who played the same sequence when asked to be a deacon…;-)
Question of the Day: Do you know any soft-spoken, perhaps “paiseh” people in your life, who astounds you quietly with their grace and admirable qualities?
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the roasted chicken breast dish with cranberry-apple chutney has my name written ALL over it! yum
haha I don’t know any soft-spoken or quiet humble people! My family is full of loud, opinionated, stubborn, eccentric, emotional people. All my family and friends seem to be like this too. I am shy at first, but I don’t think as shy enough to be called “paiseh” even! Johnny is probably the most go-with-the-flow I know, but he is still very outgoing and comedic, laughing and cracking up to get a crowd’s attention and make them happy.
I love the beautiful photos of all the seafood! Makes me want home faster! I’m going at the beginning of next month and couldn’t be happier! I’m staying for 6 weeks this summer! Yippee!!!!
A friend of mine from high school is like that. Very quiet, mistaken often for being shy, but still very graceful and endearing. But she’s definitely not as shy as people think- she’s got quite a fantastic personality and sense of humor, you just have to “listen” for it…
That is really interesting about how different our cultures are! I noticed it even when I went to London many years back. Americans stand out like sore thumbs! We are way louder and more obnoxious!!
All of those dishes you so delicious and yummy!!
I find it’s true, not just in Singapore, also in a place lake Indonesia. I like her pose with one hand patting on her hair. You really discribe very very well.
I think this is definitely true! A Malaysian girl I know is really softly spoken and likewise a Vietmenese – it’s really nice to listen to! Also, with noise…my European family are so loud it’s awful…you can hear them from miles off!
Food looks great! I love the presentation! xx
All those dishes certainly looked expensive. It all looks so good. I love that every one of those plates is balanced with a little protein, carbs and greens. Awesome!
I don’t know anyone extremely soft spoken. I think people in high school used to be, but now they are all just socially outspoken people. I think college has a lot to do with it.
I am pretty soft-spoken and a friend of mine joked, “That’s why you have so many Asian friends.” Haha. I get a little uncomfortable around very loud, rowdy people. I do get louder around people I know well, but in public, no matter who I’m with, I’m very quiet. I have met people who are extremely soft-spoken. They come across as delicate, calm, peaceful. I always wonder if that’s how they feel inside.
I am the complete opposite of “soft spoken”. And in fact, I’ll admit….I really can’t handle being around soft spoken people very long!! I want to shake them and tell them TALK! It’s bad. I think that just goes to show you how anxious and uptight I can be. I’m getting better at just handling relaxation and calmness, but it’s been tough! I’m been loud and abnoxious my whole life, but I’m starting to really see the bright side of those who are more calm and reserved.
The food looks AMAZING. It’s almost dinner time and now I’m starving just from seeing these photos. I want some sea bass please!
Absolutely. I had a friend like that in college, although it was slightly different in that occasionally she would surprise us by saying something really funny and silly when you least expected it.
I have so much respect for people who are great at what they do and don’t have the impulse to brag about it. Nice-looking meals too, and the restaurant sounds like a great place with their support of organic ingredients.
omg you two look like such a blast. love the laughing pic. ur friend looks adorable
Your friends sound so sweet…like such down-to-earth, inspiring ladies. You’re lucky to have such amazing friends!
i often find that the quietest ones are the ones with the deepest insight and biggest hearts. i also find that though they may be hard to ‘read’ at first, they are witty, silly and loud aorund those they trust.
hope you have a great night
love love love– bec
my GRAMMA IS LIKE THAT! she’s so sweet tho!!! paiseh. i haven’t heard that in FOREVER! it’s so hard explaining it to people, adn you totally nailed it!
Oh boy, Sea Bass is my favorite fish to order in a restaurant. You can never go wrong!
That eggplant looks amazing! I need to learn how to grill things so that I can make something like that. I’m sure it’s not difficult but since I haven’t ever done it before I haven’t bothered getting around to it. I love how fresh all of Cedele’s food looks!
No one close to me is really quiet or paiseh except maybe my grandma. The daughter of a coworker is like that though. She’s very quiet but you can just tell that she has a lot of personality, she simply doesn’t broadcast it.
I grew up with an entire family that was soft spoken, and I am the black sheep of the family. I do think that they are the sweetest people, those quiet ones.
This post is very humbling and true! My husband is very humble and soft spoken (and not from America). Thats what I love most about him. I wish I could meet these wonderful Godly women.
One of my dearest friends is very soft-spoken, but has been the best friend to me I’ve ever had. She is the only person that has always been there for me, 100% of the time, and although many of my other friends don’t see why I love her so much, she’s truly a wonderful person. You don’t have to be the life of the party to be a fun friend!
These sound like two very extraordinary ladies and you are super lucky to have them in their life and vice versa! This looks like such a refreshing, down-to-earth GOOD meal. I love the sound of that eggplant. And the chutney. I actually moaned when I saw the chutney.
That eggplant DOES look amazing!
I can’t say that I know anyone that is soft-spoken and graceful like your friend, Suyun.
Jenn
I absolutely know people like that – and I think it is VERY admirable. My classroom of 26 students has 14 different countries represented within it, and many of my students from outside of North American possess the paiseh quality that I admire so much.
Sophia! My pictures?!?!?!?
Hahahahahahah!!! Everyone thinks you look adorable!
Oh you look so adorable… :p
I love the way you describe your friends.
They seem like amazing, inspiring people!
I want that apple cranberry chutney!
Oooo…I want some of that sea bass.
I know of one close friend who’s very soft spoken, but with a killer sense of humor. Being in LA there are a lot of loud mouths. I’m glad to have a least one who isn’t.
I think in general (although it’s hard to tell) that most people in Europe are somewhere between the ‘louder’ US and ‘paiseh people’… I love the way you described this and I think it’s wonderful how you introduce us to other persons. You always make me feel as if I really know them and you tell such beautiful things, thes epeople are blessed to know you Sophia…
xxx Julia (Taste of Living)
I know a number of quietly spoken individuals, and I used to be one myself. However I was a little too humble and subservient, to the point where I did not respect or assert my needs, nor did I value myself or my abilities, which was a recipe for disaster. I really admire people who can be quietly assertive and confident, which takes real grace and skill…
Sarah x
Well, to agree to have their photos taken and have them posted in your blog, I guess they are not as shy or “paiseh’ as moi….hahah!
Haha since my mum is Singaporean I’m used to the lah at the end of every sentance (although she doesn’t do it so much anymore). And my mum hates having her photo taken too!
that food looks amaazing!! so clean and fresh and beautifully presented! i love the picture of your friend laughing, in motion haha
Good to see that an emphasis on fresh, healthy food at modern restaurants is making a splash all over the globe! Those eats look delish!
That sea bass looks great. Thanks for the cultural lesson. I am so far from soft spoken. I am so loud it is not even funny.
I know a few “paiseh” people but definitely am not one of them myself
I’m loud, rowdy and my boyfriend claims I shout in my phone, muahahaha. Could be 
I’m sure my parents wish I were more “paiseh” when I was growing up!
I’m pretty loud. 
Your food pics are beautiful! I have a Canon myself but I think I need an upgrade!
I love the Suyun picture slideshow! They both seem like such nice ladies!
Pea Daddy is the most “paiseh” person I’ve ever known. It drives me a bit crazy, since I am quite the opposite, but it’s also a nice balance to my “burp and slurp” personality
Keep your crazy cats to yourself!!!
oh geesh. my eyeballs pop out every time I behold your greedy food pics. Now excuse me…. my left eyeball just rolled down the hallway.
Looks like you are spending time with wonderful people and good food!
I know what you mean about cultural differences; when europeans or americans come to stay with a traditional family they often wonder why people are shouting to each other; but for the local lebanese, that is just normal conversation tone.
You have reinforced my notion of singaporeans as quiet, high achievers with your comments and description of your two friends; hey that meal looks darn good all around.
I just wanted to say that although I haven’t commented in a while, I’ve been enjoying reading about your adventures! The food in this post looks particular fantastic. Glad you are having such a wonderful time!
lol! i was just going to say what a good sport of Suyun to let you post all those pics of her but then i realized as i was scrolling down on your comments that she didn’t know about it. COMEDY! Suyun if you’re reading this, you DO look ADORABLE
Actually now that you’ve said it, i do know a few Singaporeans who are extremely soft spoken.
This post made me smile. =) Living here in Singapore, I totally know what you mean. Paiseh-ness is just imbued in the Singapore culture and we are unashamedly so! But on the other hand, I know of lots of Singaporeans who are bunking the trend and are outspoken and loud. Hehe…
Your friends sound like they are cool peoples.
I am really enjoying your posts from a different place. I feel like I’m on vacation too! 
Sometimes it’s so refreshing for people to be more subdued. One of my least favorite aspects of American culture is the constant loudness, bragging, out-doing. I like to lead, but I also prefer listening. I need to lower my voice more often. I know many people who are NOT paiseh and very few who are. I have a few coworkers who seem a bit paiseh, although that is kind of self-selecting since I work in a library, lol.
The restaurant sounds wonderful! Every once in a while it is nice to eat a fancy meal out, even if it is a little expensive…
yupp, we Asians are paiseh! can’t help it.
ooh, Cedele is expensive! I always want to order the yummy sounding entrees when i’m there, but end up ordering the soups instead. big bowl of soup+unlimited bread=more value for $!
before you leave singapore, you should try the rice dumplings (zhong zi) because dumpling festival is around the corner! maybe you guys can try making it-fun but troublesome and tiring though. Or you can cheat and buy some
ps: I love your pink checked long sleeved shirt! IT’S PINK!!!!!
How coincidental. My friend just bought a few zhongzis! Haha! It’s hard to find a good one though! I mean, a good one that isn’t like $13 for a tiny triangle portion!
I love how you relate their personalities to their worship! Beautiful.
beautiful post and every time i read, i think, she can’t out do her last post…and you do
xoxo
We have that same saying in Taiwanese too! The food looks glorious! <3 eggplant!
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