I can’t speak for all Singaporeans…but I find that the majority of them are pretty soft-spoken people. I didn’t really notice this, until I came back to Singapore from America, and found myself having to strain my ears to hear what some Singaporeans are saying. In contrast, when I came upon some Caucasians here, their roar of laughter and bellowing voices were a rude shock after having had gotten used to the more subdued tones of the locals.
I’m not saying that either culture is right or wrong, polite or impolite. It’s just an observation. And I find it intriguing—how geography and culture can play a role in the details in a person’s personality, such as voice tone and social behaviors.
If there is a word to describe the majority of Singaporeans using their own slang, it’s that they are a bunch of “paiseh” people. It means “to be shy, to be fearful, to be uncertain, to be embarrassed.” Give them a compliment, and they will blush and try to object. Enter a classroom, and you won’t see many students raising his or her hand. Assign them an important task, and they will start protesting their inabilities. Show a bit of affection, and they will shuffle their feet awkwardly.
It’s not that they are truly inadequate, unmotivated or boring. Actually, you’ll never find a nation more hard-working, dedicated and humorous. And they do care immensely about their self-image—they’re not called “kiasu” (afraid of losing) for nothing! But it’s almost a social taboo to show extreme self-confidence, and flaunting of one’s gifts and abilities is discouraged.
Basically, you’re expected to be the best, but you don’t want people to know that you know that you’re the best. Get it? Yeah, I’m confused, too.
But I’m not Singaporean—so I will give praise where praise is due. Even if I might make the following two soft-spoken ladies very very “paiseh”: Liwen and Suyun.
Liwen and Suyun are one of the most “paiseh” ladies I know. But they have no reason to be…because they are also one of the most extraordinary people I know! I mentioned them briefly on this post, but let me re-introduce them to you. This is Suyun (and me):
And this is Liwen (and me again), whose house I am staying right now: 
I’ve never heard them laugh out loud in public, or brag about their many talents, or get into debates or join public discussions. They are reserved, quiet, and avoid the limelight if they can. Well, God had other plans for them.
Liwen and Suyun are both deacons in our church. Being a deacon is no easy task, and both of them balked at the idea at first. But in the end, though the responsibility was daunting, they both accepted their duty. And the funny thing is, even while Suyun was protesting, she was already worrying about what to wear during the day of anointment. I find that hilarious, but also admirable. They might verbally refuse, but in their hearts, they always accept what God asks them to do. A year down the road, and they have already accomplished much for the church. 
Liwen is now working full-time ministry, maintaining the church’s Sunday message blog, leading the music ministry, and taking art and music classes in order to better serve the music and children ministry. And this lady can sing. And draw. Freaking well. 
Meanwhile, Suyun also co-leads the music ministry. She’s an amazing pianist, so she plays for all the church events and celebrations. She even composes her own praise songs, and authors her own music ministry blog as well.
In the society I’m in, it’s encouraged to be loud and vocal about what I want and what I do. I certainly am one of those driven people who is too clear about what I want, and I’ll grab at every opportunity I have to make it happen. But I find it humbling to see that even without such active pursuing, God still somehow lures out people to serve Him and display their gifts, despite the fact that they may be hidden in the backstage. I also find it respectable how they perform their duties silently—yet expertly.
So even though these two ladies are “paiseh” and perhaps easily overlooked, I’ve learned something incredibly valuable from them: Though they may play such a pivotal role in the church, they do it stealthily, without fuss, and entirely for God, not man. That’s a true server’s heart indeed!
A few days ago, we decided to have lunch together. I pretended that they were too “paiseh” to ask me out so I performed the first move by inviting them out. Except, Suyun ended up treating us.
We went to All-Day Dining Cedele: 
If you recall, I have dined at Cedele before with Valerie and Grace, but this is a different concept. Instead of being a bakery/cafe, it serves as a restaurant, selling all-day breakfasts and more hearty meals like pasta. 
We went to the branch in Raffles City, and found it pretty empty. Which was perfect, because imagine me trying to hear Suyun and Liwen’s delicate voices over the loud noises! This place was more like an open-air indoor restaurant, with soft dim lights and a clean ambience. They also had an open kitchen, so that we could spy on our chefs: 
As soon as we opened the menu, it was my turn to be “paiseh” because the prices were freaking expensive!!! No wonder they did not provide prices in the online menu! I was tricked by all the delicious-sounding choices on the menu!
Oh well. It’s not like the price is any higher than an average American family-style restaurant. I considered just ordering soup, but I saw the ridiculous amount they priced for a small bowl of soup and just decided to order what I want. I got the Rosti Sea Bass: 
Seared Sea Bass, Potato Rosti, Grilled Eggplants, Coriander-Tomato Salsa, and Garden Greens dressed in Balsamic Vinaigrette. 
Wow. No wonder the price was high. This was pretty fancy stuff! And the sea bass was cooked perfectly—crispy on the outside, light and tender on the inside. Perfectly seasoned, too! 
The Coriander-Tomato Salsa was definitely fresh-chopped, none of that jarred stuff. Each juicy, fruity flavor burst in my mouth…it’s the kind of salsa you can’t helping eating by the spoon. 
The potato rosti was a bit different from what I expected. I was expecting the typical shredded potatoes packed into a crispy pancake, but mine came with thinly sliced potatoes layered together into a block. It wasn’t as crispy as I would have liked, but still lovely and buttery. 
As for the eggplant? The best freaking eggplant I’ve ever had. It was so flavorful, and incredibly meaty. Who needs steak when you’ve got grilled eggplants?
Liwen ordered the Roasted Chicken & Chutney: 
Roasted Chicken Breast, Apple-Cranberry Chutney, Potato Rosti, and Garden Greens dressed in Balsamic Vinaigrette. 
I LOVED the chutney! The chicken was truly succulent, just as the menu boasted, but the chutney was the star of this dish! Tangy, pucky, slightly sweet, slightly savory…amazing! Liwen must have known I liked it, because she generously piled a big mound onto my plate.
Suyun ordered the Lemon-Dill Salmon: 
Pan-seared salmon filet with lemon-dill sauce, a Potato Kumara patty, and Garden Greens dressed in Balsamic Vinaigrette. 
Suyun was a bit ambivalent towards the Potato Kumara at first, because she has never tried it before, but it turned out pretty tasty. At first I thought it was some kind of Indian-spiced potato patty, but it turned out to be a mix of potato and sweet potato patty and herbs, made from a particular sweet potato called Kumara. 
As for the salmon, well, the picture speaks a thousand words. Can you just see and taste how buttery and juicy that salmon steak is? Lemon-dill sauce is a bit contrite, but hey, it’s a classic because it’s good. 
To be honest, I was starting to get a bit heaty and feeling a bit queasy from the greasy, spicy foods of Singapore, so this was a good, clean break. Just clean, simple flavors, served on a real plate with real fork and knife, instead of Styrofoam boxes and useless plastic fork that snaps if you poke at anything harder than bread. 
Cedele has an emphasis on healthy, whole, organic foods, too: 
No, I will never be sick of Singaporean food, but there is such a thing as over-indulgence. So Cedele was perfect recharger, if you will, to get my body all ready for the fantastically heavy Singaporean local fare.
The food did take a while to come out, though, so I entertained myself by trying to get a good picture of Suyun. Do you know how hard it is to get a decent picture of her? Observe: 
This is her usual pose. Relaxed, one arm cropped up, one hand patting down her hair. 
Oops! She spotted me trying to take a candid shot! She bolts up… 
”What are you doing?” She exclaims. “Why take a picture of me?” 
Nervous cackle. “Hahaha! Aiyah, don’t want lah! Paiseh lah! Don’t want!” 
Subdued. “Okay lah. I’ll give you one nice picture!” Pretty smile. Click. And from then on, she cooperated on all the pictures together… 
Isn’t this familiar? Hm…reminds me of a certain deacon who played the same sequence when asked to be a deacon…;-)
Question of the Day: Do you know any soft-spoken, perhaps “paiseh” people in your life, who astounds you quietly with their grace and admirable qualities?
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loving the lemon dill salmon, your friends are wonderful ladies, they are truly special…my grandmother speaks very quietly, sometimes I have to get really close to her to listen but she always offers me great advice..
sweetlife
I think most Asian women are brought up to be quiet. That’s just the way the culture is. And that can make it doubly hard when you have to go out in the real world, where you often find yourself having to be more assertive. I think we all need to learn to stand up for ourselves more. And I think we realize that as time goes by.
I’m a very shy and softspoken person, and I always thought of it as a negative quality, so I like how you are portraying it in a more positive light. I see my outgoing friends and my sister (who talks and talks and talks..to anyone) and I’m just very quiet and I would rather listen than talk. I always thought it interfered with my social life and inhibited me from meeting amazing people and making great new friends, but perhaps it could be a quality about me that people could learn to appreciate. After all, when people like to talk, I’m sure they appreciate a great listener!
It looks like you had a lovely meal with some very sweet women and I’m happy you got to enjoy their company (and they, yours).
I love the chef posing in the background in the kitchen shot! That made me chuckle.
My theology lecturer and dissertation supervisor at uni was amazing. He never raised his voice and always replied after much thought- never a word said out of turn. And when I made stupid comments in class that probably weren’t very intelligent he would always graciously engage with them. Amazing. And his devotion to his Catholic faith, whilst remaining open-minded and in dialogue with other beliefs and changes in society, was inspirational. xxx
One of my coworkers at my last job would never cease to amaze me how the few words he would share with us could carry so much weight!
Wow–that place looks amazing!! I love their food philosophy, too!
<3 jess
xoxo
haha funny… i see myself as out spoken as opposed to soft spoken. i do know people like that though, and i always want to try and get them to BE LOUD and open up!!!! it’s like a mission of mine when i am around them b/c i secretly think they wanna scream or burp or something!
Woohooo!!
So u ate at Cedele’s! Ehh..why no desserts? No one like desserts? I knw u don’t but there wasn’t mango cake thr i bet!
I realized aft visitin many Cedele outlets – that each outlet carries few types of cakes & they rotate them. So not every outlet wil hv their whole range of cakes!
I know a lot of paiseh people (my BF being one), but I am definitely not one. And yes, these people completely amaze me. Looks like you guys had a lovely meal there!
I used to work in a diverse workplace with Chinese, Hispanics, Blacks, and Whites. The Chinese people are way more polite and conforming. They wouldn’t speak up nor will they complain. They just do their jobs. The other ethnic groups are much more outspoken and more “talking” than working. That’s my experience and my opinion. At times, I wish the Chinese would speak up and be more outspoken because they often got picked on. I get a lot of comments of how unChinese I am because I’m so different. I tell them it’s my Vietnamese side
. Anyways, great post and love all the dishes you put up here.
I’m intrigued by the coriander-tomato salsa – it sounds like it would be perfect with the fish!
I’m reading your blogs backward since I’m catching up, so I’ve already mentioned the lady I think is “paiseh” but I didn’t mention that quality when I was praising her. She isn’t meek, she’s very bold, but she’s also very humble and never does anything for the purpose of impressing others. I think it is an admirable quality, one that seems to be dying out in America. It seems that younger generations are starting to get self-confidence so extreme that it actually outweighs their skill (take American Idol, for example, where you see so many that KNOW they’re the best and are furious that they aren’t accepted). I may be wrong, but it seems healthier to be more humble rather than boastful. I love “paiseh” people.
Ah, loved this post, what a great time you had.
Asian women are cute and good mannered. they are very caring too.`~:
asian women are petite and most of them are mild mannered compared to western women’,~
i would love to marry asian women eventhough they are not as sexy as western women. asian women have great manners and prioritizes the family so much `,;
People from different culture really differs from one another. And for me it’s fun to observe what are those differences because through that we will know them better and would know how to better approach them.
Lea Myers
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