I have two large ulcers deep within my mouth. My wisdom teeth have started growing again, and both inners sides of my jaws are sore and infected. Meanwhile, a week of consecutive lack of sleep has left me with a chronic headache and an occasional giddy high.

But I must persevere. Yes, indeed. I only have about a week left in Singapore before I head off to Malaysia for my church retreat. There is still a whole list of foods to be eaten, people to meet, things to do, sights to see. So I simply refuse to see the dentist and get my wisdom teeth plucked out until after I get to eat everything I want. Yes, I simply must persevere.

Perseverance. I’m throwing this word out liberally here. But as we all know, it’s not a simple and light word. Perseverance is something which is greatly admired, because it is not an easy thing. It’s a continuous, mindful persistence in doing something that clearly makes you uncomfortable, scared, tired, or anxious. Maybe all of those things.

A reader recently asked me what she should do to break out of her vicious eating disordered cycle. What should she do? What is the first step? How should she do it?

I sent her a detailed reply, but the gist of it is really just one word: Perseverance. The first step is clearly important…but the next step is just as important, and the next step, and the next step, and the next…You can’t escape a chronic problem or habit you have by just attempting to pull out once. And you can’t do it casually, either. You’ve got to meet that problem/habit/obsession head-on, with full concentration, again and again until you are able to break free.

Basically, you are in battle mode. When I hear the word “perseverance”, I keep envisioning a tall muscular person in full Spartan armor. Maybe that’s just me. But this kind of mentality is what we need in order to persevere.

Doesn’t matter if you’re struggling with an eating disorder, or relationship issues, or losing weight, or academic hardships, or a tough project at work. Perseverance, I think, is one of the greatest and toughest, yet most rewarding quality one can have.

And I do not believe it’s a gift. I believe it’s an inherent trait already within us that is just asking to be used. You may be weak, but nobody starts out strong. We’ve all got to start out somewhere. And perseverance will build your character up, slowly but surely.

I guess then, that I shouldn’t use the word “persevere” to describe my compulsive need to stuff myself silly before I finally surrender myself to the dentist. It’s probably more like greed. Gluttony. Foolish obstinacy. But you know what? I’m gonna stick with “perseverance.” Just because it just sounds way cooler.

Yes, that’s what I am: A Warrior of Gluttony. And here’s my battle cry: “Pain be damned— I will eat, damn it!”

Ah, I see that spark of disapproval in your eye. No, you can’t blame me! You don’t understand—the food here…it’s freaking good. In the famous words of my dear friend Jing Wen, “It’s very, very, very nice!!” 

Next, the pork shumai:
It’s not uniquely Singaporean, of course. Shumais come in different varieties all over the Asian continent. Mine came stuffed simply with ground pork in a wonton wrapper.
Dipped it in ketchup, because I was too lazy to make my own dipping sauce.

If you’ve been following for awhile, you should already know what otah-otah is:
You can refer to my previous post to refresh your memory, but there is simply nothing that salivates your mouth more than this spicy, pungent, banana leaf-wrapped fish cake. My ulcers were not happy, but you’ve got to eat what you’ve gotta eat.

The white lump? It’s called soon kueh:
Another nostalgic favorite of mine. The skin is made from rice flour, which is why it’s so sticky and slightly translucent. The filling is similar to that of popiah: stir-fried turnips, mushrooms (black fungus), and bits of tofu and dried shrimp. It’s chewy, savory, and quite a satisfying snack.

Now, the little pink pyramid-shaped dumpling, or peng kueh:
The peng kueh is pink because of food coloring in its glutinous rice wrapper, nothing special. Haha. But inside, it holds ingredients that are similar to that of zongzi: braised glutinous rice, mushrooms, shrimp, and garlic. Usually eaten with sticky-sweet soy sauce and chili, but the lady forgot my chili! Apparently you can pan-fry this so that the exterior is crispy, too.

Okay, most dim sum usually ends with a sweet note…such as lotus buns and sesame balls, but I turned to my childhood favorite dessert as a midday snack:
It’s called Tau Suan. Tau Suan is a sweet split mung bean dessert that is sold in every local dessert stall in Singapore. It is thick, viscuous, sticky, and gooey, with splecks of little cooked mung bean. I’ve made this before, and you flavor the liquid with fresh pandan leaves, and sweeten it with rock sugar. It is freaking awesome, and highly recommended by me as a must-try here!
The topping is a handful of savory Chinese fried donut, or called you tiao. I usually dislike donuts because they have a bitter taste. But you tiao has none of that, because it’s salty instead of sweet (hm, ironic). It just soaks up all the sweet, lovely gel of the Tau Suan, and is freaking good!
Can you see those individual split mung beans? They’re not the mature green beans, but the yellow split ones. This dessert is so easy to make at home, but I didn’t want to make an entire pot of it.

Okay, as much as I try, this body can persevere no longer. I was up from 3am to 4am (the next day) the day before, and have still not gotten enough sleep. But I have fun and delightful plans tomorrow with a certain amazing food blogger from Kuala Lumpur, so in order for more good eats, I shall retire to bed…because as you all know, I will eat, damn it!
Zzzzzz. See you in Dream Land!

Question of the Day: Perseverance. What are your thoughts on it? What is one thing in which you have persevered, and one thing you are persevering through right now?