A fellow ED-Recoverer once asked me how I managed to get myself out of my eating disordered food rut. How did I manage to overcome my fear foods, and be able to socialize and eat out? How am I able to pick up bites of snacks in the streets, and not obsess over a “proper sit-down” meal?
Well, here’s my simple answer (Ironically, Pollen-esque style): Just Eat. Mostly With Eaters. Not Too Much Food Talk.
Basically, get away from people who engage in fat talk all the time. People who always discuss the latest diet and nutrition. People who pick at their food and eat a bowl of salad for dinner.
You probably already know such people. You probably see them all the time. And you probably find it incredibly hard to avoid this group of chronic dieters.
But for the sake of your own sanity, please try to be more proactive about avoiding them. I’m not saying you should severe your friendship completely. But you’ve got to look after yourself, and there is no point or benefit in constantly hanging out with such people who will only reinforce in you the false idea that this is the proper way to live. It’ll be even more difficult to avoid them if these people are your beloved family members, in which case you’ll have to develop a tougher skin, or let them know firmly that you don’t appreciate such conversations. Of course, you can’t avoid them, but you can always saturate yourself with more positive influences.
By that, I mean look for eaters. Now, notice that I did not say foodies. Foodies can tend to have an unnatural obsession for food, too. By eaters, I mean people who simply…eat. People who view food in a moderate, healthy perspective. People who listen to their hunger cues. People who enjoy eating, but not letting it take over their life. People who may not be a nutrition expert, but in many ways are mentally and physically healthier than an obsessed individual. Look around you carefully. There has to be someone. Suck up to them, and observe and learn.
I was lucky enough to find such a group of friends. In fact, they became the key players in pulling me out of many of my misconceptions and fears towards dining out. Say hello to the three eating warriors who forced me into battle against all my disordered thoughts:
(from left) Suyun, Stephanie, and Wengang. Stephanie and Wen Gang are married; they are the couple hosting me right now (I have much more to say about this wonderful couple, but they deserve their own post!). Su Yun is Stephanie’s sister-in-law, and Wen Gang’s younger sister. They’re a slim bunch…but boy are they eaters!
A couple of days ago, we all attended the 2010 Singapore Food Expo together: 
The Singapore Food Expo is just a showcase of many of Singapore’s own food and beverage industries. All the products are made locally, and they are sold in discounted prices. 
And look, there are vendors selling fresh, hot food, too! Score! 
This place was packed. As I said, Singaporeans love their food, and they love, love, love discounts. Plus, they get drawn by crowds. Anyplace with a crowd, and they absolutely need to be there. 
I got squished and shoved by the crowd like a sardine! And oh look, speaking of sardines… 
Spread that on toast, and you’ve got the best sardine sandwich ever. What? Don’t like the smell of sardines? Well, guess you won’t be adventurous enough to try Chinese sausages, then… 
Those red links up there? It’ll probably freak a health nut out. But to the Chinese, there is no better ingredient in adding mouth-watering flavor into fried rice.
Honestly, I was still full from an afternoon of constant eating. But when Stephanie told me about this expo…well, I just couldn’t resist. I said “Ooh yes!” at once. And I’m glad I did, because it was one fun event. Hello? Being surrounded by cheap food and people scuffing down food? My idea of heaven.
Plus, with three fellow eaters (not foodies, just eaters), it’s hard not to get excited about trying some stuff here. They immediately sniffed out the tastiest and cheapest food stall at once: 
Pan-fried xiao long baos, stuffed with pork! At just SGD$3.90 (USD$2.70) for 7 big pieces!! Whoa lao, bargain ah! 
We huddled in the corner, giggling at each other as we squirted meat juices at each other when we beat into the fried dough: 
This was freaking awesome! I loved how the exterior of the bun was crispy from being fried, and how a bite revealed the hot meaty juice and the tender pork filling inside. Juicy, meaty, chewy, crispy, and crunchy all at once!
Here’s Wengang trying to maintain his cool as the juices in the dumpling burned his tongue: 
“Aiyah, that’s not the way to do it,” Stephanie scolded. “Watch me lah!” She masterfully snatched up a piece of fried bun… 
And chomped hard with a look of pure bliss on her face. “You must really look like you enjoy it! No fear!”
Now that’s the way! Uh-huh, uh-huh!
Do you see now why I adore these people? They aren’t afraid to show ecstasy for good food in the least. I didn’t hear one word about how “greasy” the bun is, or how “fatty” the pork is, or how “unhealthy” the refined dough is. That’s the way to eat and enjoy, indeed!
We then moved on from stall to stall, stopping by any that hit our fancy. We also picked up more snacks on the way, such as this cup of Orh Nee: 
This traditional Teo Chew dessert may be made of taro, a nutritious root vegetable…but it ain’t exactly for the calorie-conscious. Basically, it has more sugar and pork fat than the vegetable, so that it glides smoothly down your throat. That thick sauce over it? It’s a mixture of sugar and lard. Oh, and topped with a single ginko nut, perhaps as a last resort to disguise this calorie-bomb as a nutritious snack.
We also shared bags of fried chicken wings, some cheese-filled hotdogs, more orh nee, fried rice, some noodle thing…and god knows what else. Here’s Wengang with his load of the day: 
I should have waited a bit more to take this picture, because right after this shot, his load got several bags heavier!
As for me, I managed to limit myself to just a couple of these spicy garlic toasts for my midnight snack. They were pretty big, and only a dollar for each!: 
They weren’t kidding about the spicy part. They definitely had a good kick to them! They were also really nicely saturated with some intense garlicky butter…Thankfully I’m still dateless, huh…? 
…Or perhaps this is the reason why I’m still dateless. Hmm……
Oh, well. Garlic or a man. I choose garlic.
Now don’t worry. Singapore may be stuffed with all sorts of delicious, irresistible calorie-bombs, but there are also plenty of areas for you to burn them off. Early morning today, my friend Danielle and I went for a long walk around MacRitchie Reservoir. 
I remember my dad taking my family here for a walk often, back when we used to live in Singapore. This place hadn’t changed much, so the familiar scenery brought back such nostalgic memories! 
Uh, not all memories are pleasant, though. See that harmless-looking monkey over there? 
Furry and twitchy and cute? Not so! These creatures are savage!! 
I remember once walking through the woods with a bag of food, and started getting stalked by a gang of monkeys. I started walking faster, and then broke into a frantic run as the whole pack of monkeys starting chasing me with open sharp jaws! I finally dropped my bag, but who knows what would have happened if I had clung onto it? They might have severed my arm off! 
And another time? One giant crazy old monkey marched up to me out of the blue, grabbed my water bottle off my hands, and tugged ferociously at it until I let go. I was with two of my friends at the time. It was three against one stupid monkey, but that monkey knew no fear! Moral of the story? Stay clear from the monkeys. They are NOT cuddly and cute.
Okay, back to the trail. Danielle and I walked about 14 km, including a wobbly clamber through the Tree Top Walk: 
Not recommended for Acrophobics. But otherwise, a thoroughly enjoyable experience, if not for the blasted sun burning through our pores.
As you can imagine, we were starving after this walk! We took a quick shower at the MacRitchie restroom, changed, and then hurried out for brunch. We decided to breakfast the traditional Singaporean way, so the choice of venue was easy: 
Toast Box is a popular traditional Southeast Asian coffeeshop in Singapore which shares the same parent company as Food Republic. Just like Food Republic, it seeks to bring an olden-days feel to the modern city, with old-style fresh-brewed coffee and grilled toasts. 
I got a set meal, which comes with a choice of toast, 2 soft-boiled eggs, and coffee/tea. Obviously, I opted for coffee: 
I had not had fresh-brewed coffee in weeks. I’ve been living off instant coffee, and this tasted…like gold nectar to me! I asked for kopi-o-kosong, which means black coffee (See here to view the complete set of ordering coffee—or kopi—in Singapore). 
Nice saucer. I do love clean, white saucers with a cute logo. I briefly wondered (I was delirious from dehydration and lack of sleep) what they would do to me if I just boldly took one home with me.
As for the eggs, I was a bit nonplussed to find that they were a bit runnier than I would have liked: 
I love my yolks runny, but I’d rather have my whites kinda firm, thank you very much. I had to slurp it up like soup with a spoon, with just a drizzle of soy sauce like the locals. 
No princess treatment here; you have to crack your own eggs: 
As for the toast, I ordered a thick otah toast, which came served with a wooden pick and a piece of charred banana leaf: 
Otah-otah is one of my favorite snacks in Singapore. It is a cake mixture blended from fish paste, spices, coconut milk, and other binders, then stuffed into a banana leaf and grilled. Does that not sound absolutely glorious?! 
I don’t really know why they placed the banana leaf over the toast. I suppose it’s the same leaf they used to wrap the otah. Maybe it was to infuse the toast with its fragrance. But what am I supposed to do with it? I bit on it and chewed on the edges, just for fun. Danielle started giggling, incredulous. I told you I was delirious. 
But underneath the useless leaf was a thick, fluffy white toast spread with spicy, flavorful otah. The toast was a bit too thick for my liking, but the wonderful otah on top made up for the bread’s lack of flavor. 
So chewy! So spicy! So nice! And so cute! I loved the little wooden pick and how the toast was chopped into little cubes. I shall eat all my toasts in cubes from now on.
Meanwhile, Danielle got the meal set with the kaya toast and lemon iced tea: 
Kaya is a rich, coconut custard jam. Remember when I made it once in the slow-cooker? Well, the real shiz is better, by far, I’m sad to say. This toast came in a very crispy, thinly-sliced grilled bread, with a thin sliver of butter and kaya: 
I stole about half of her piece, and thought it was great, but not as great as my otah toast. I guess if you have a sweet tooth, you would prefer the kaya toast. But if you love spicy, bold flavors like me, otah is the way to go!
Now, I’m curious. How many times throughout this post, did you go “Oh no, but that has xxx calories, how many miles must I run to burn that off?” or “Gosh, that’s way too much fat…fat to my thighs…” or “Whoa, white carbs, gaaah, nooo I’ll diiiieeee!”? Anyone? Be honest. That’s probably the first reaction for many people, because we’ve been so injected into our minds to treat food in such a cautious, restrictive way. And yes, I also regularly have the knee-jerk reaction of “Oh, I shouldn’t…”
I’m not asking you to totally shun nutrition, and stuff yourself silly with deep-fried steamed buns and buttery toasts. Actually, if you did that, you would feel extremely sick, and I’m not even talking about weight gain. Your body would naturally cry out, “Stop. Enough. I need some vitamins and minerals!” In fact, after that Food Expo, Wengang and Stephanie came home to balance out their grease fest with some fresh sliced fruit and slow-cooked Chinese soup and tea. Do they know anything about nutrition? Not really. They just started craving something healthier.
Let’s try to regulate our attitude towards food, shall we? As I said, I think that you should first surround yourself with people who do have a good attitude towards food. At least for the time being until you can withstand negative food talks, and maybe even exude positive influence on others as well.
P.S. This post is really targeted at eating disordered individuals, but I reckon many regular women struggle with common issues as well.
Question of the Day: Are you surrounded by people who engage in constant negative food talks? Does that affect you in any way? Do you know any person(s) who have a healthy attitude towards food?
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I really like that concept! I definitely find that my food “issues” are vastly reduced when I spend time with eaters and when we just enjoy the time and the food without excess. That’s when my relationship with health is at its best, I think: when the people around me can calm me because THEY aren’t obsessed!
A food expo sounds like heaps of fun! Would love to go to one of those.
The majority of the people I am around are eaters. I would be the non-eater. Don’t get me wrong, I love food (you’ve seen my blog). But I do think about nutrition in terms of my diet as a vegetarian and as someone who works out. So, I don’t eat as freely as I would like.
omg…spicy garlic toasts?! really? i think i know what i’m going to be making soon…
i’m actually surrounded by a TON of people who have really healthy food talk…turns out I’M the one who’s the negative Nancy
I need to jump on a place and meet you there so I can eat all of this wonderful food!
I have never really been surrounded by negative food talk. I am very blessed!
my friends don’t really care at all about negative food talk and are just “eaters”. they’ll also tell food haters to “stfu” haha. i think it’d be fun to hit up a food expo with my friends!
I hate to say it, but I do think that I’m a foodie and not necessarily an eater. It’s an interesting distinction. Both love food. I definitely have to think about this topic more.
I think that surrounding yourself with positive people in general is always good for the spirit, especially those who unabashedly love life, which do tend to be the eaters!
My parents can be pretty terrible. They constantly talk about eating too much and having too much food and saying no to a dessert because it is fattening. Yet they are never the type of people to balance out a meal with veggies and other healthy things. My boyfriend is definitely an eater, and doesn’t think twice about calories or grease or any of the things I sometimes have a knee jerk reaaction to. I love how real you are in this post. I love having a balanced approach to food. Everything should be an option when it comes to eating.
Amen to this. Seriously, I think that one of the best aids to recovery is being around people who just eat and don’t have food issues, like my mum. She is my inspiration, because she enjoys her food, and takes care of herself. She has a healthy attitude which is severely lacking in much of the world. It’s so hard to go out with constant dieters and it makes me so sad that so many lives are ruined by this. Negative food talk sucks, and the more people who challenge this the better.
I love your blog because it’s full of positive food talk
Sarah x
I totally second you on the need to be around people who both eat and do it with a healthy attitude (there are “eaters” that still constantly berate themselves, outloud, for what they’re consuming). I have been so lucky to have healthy, down-to-earth friends to surround myself and set good examples during my recovery. I’m in a field of study where physical ability and stamina are necessary and valued more than what size you wear. Observing my mom has also been a big help, because she’s the closest to me in terms of genetics and body type that I can observe, and seeing her eat freely, take time off running, etc while still being a healthy (even slim side of healthy) has been a huge boost to me.
I also second you on monkeys!!! I worked at a zoo one summer and always dreaded dealing with the primates. I’m all about protecting wildlife, but give those guys some space, especially ones in touristy areas that have lost fear of humans.
That is very good advice — look for eaters. It is hard to find people who truly appreciate food and don’t have any restrictions and limits in their head. Almost everyone makes SOME comments along the lines of, “I really shouldn’t” or “This is going to my hips” or whatever. I hate that. I have to say that eating with males is a nice relief
My husband does not talk negatively about food, and that helps me quite a bit. My family has a healthy relationship with food too, which is great!
You make such a great point. Even if you have a GREAT self-image, it can be hard to enjoy a meal when the person sitting across from you comments on the calorie and fat count of everything on the table.
That said, I love Asians and their breakfast sets. Everything in Korea seemed to come as a set (“set-uh”). Great way to get a bargan.
Hehee..Sophia, you really eats like a Singaporean. Really fun reading your posts this few days. How long are you staying here?
I enjoyed this post. I especially liked your distinction between an eater and a foodie. My boyfriend is an eater, and my parents are foodies. It is so much easier to eat around my boyfriend than my parents – he is just naturally able to listen to his hunger cues. We enjoy food and cook together, but it is more about spending time with one another than the food itself. (Though we do discuss food, especially when it’s good!) I am so much more relaxed about food when I am around an eater.
I think our “americanized” culture has it all wrong. We go to 2 extremes…eat to little or eat way TOO MUCH. I love too see how other cultures really do eat to live and don’t worr about calories, etc. Its how God created us in the first place, ya know? I grew up with 3 brothers and never had any to be surrounded by fat talk, thank GOD! It wasn’t until college that I even knew salads existed, haha. But then I became a nutrition major and my whole perspective changed, but in a good way. I really like this post, it makes me double check my motives when it comes to overall health and nutrition. Thanks Sophia. And thanks for all the food porn!
Oh my.. I’m actually one of those who worries abt calories!
And I eat again whn i’m hngry. oh yea, i only eat whn i’m hungry too (but not to worry abt tht! I’m hungry almost all the time)
And I do eat..but not till i’m too stuffed. I think it’s healthier
I guess I do cultivate gd eating habits. Light dinners.
Exercise. stop whn ur 80% full.
It works for me and it’s a matter of moderation i guess
Anyhw, i think i knw whr i’m headin on Sun mornin whn ur in church! I wil love runnin in that garden!
It’s so true. No matter what, I always look at food with some type of thought in my head about how healthy it is, or how many calories it has. Sure, I still may eat it even if I know it’s horrible for me. But in the back of my head, I still have that thought “Oh, better cut back later.” Or “I’ll feel bloated for a few days after this.” Even though I’ve gotten much better about this, it still happens. But I look at my roommates who seriously just eat. Yeah, they sometimes pay attention to what’s healthy. But seriously, they eat when hungry and don’t eat when not.
I try to surround myself with positive people even if it means having to cut some friends out of my life…It’s hard to remain positive when you have a negative nelly in your ear lol
There are very few people in my life who actually talk about food, other than how good it is. My friends and I don’t discuss calories, etc. and my best friend eats like a truck driver and somehow manages to stay thin while doing it. Luckily I usually don’t have to worry about negative food talk.
I love seeing all your Singapore pictures. Go to the botanical gardens and take some more pics!! I loved that beautiful place, I only wish I’d had more time to spend there.
I love this philosophy. Most of my best friends are definitely “eaters” and I love them for it. People who talk about how they’re “trying to be good” or “can’t eat that because it’s not on their diet” make me sad.
So true! I’ve just figured it out that I need to be around people who have healthy relationships with their body & food. When I’m around other people like myself, it just drives me deeper into disordered eating.
Oh girl, I totally agree with you! For me, doing just that helped me so much! You’re so wise and such a wonderful person to share your knowledge and insights!
xxx Julia (Taste of Living)
wow I can’t agree with this more. since recovery I’ve developed a total aversion to ‘food talk’ of the ‘this is so greasy/sugary/blahblahblah’ kind and equally to too much fussing around food. as you said, there’s a difference between being a foodie and an eater, and the former so often reminds me of disordered stuff.
I live with housemates, and sometimes they come out with weird food talk..’I'm hungry! what’s the time?’ (to which I usually respond ‘you should be thinking about what’s in the fridge when you’re hungry not on the clock) or ‘I shouldn’t buy that, I’ll eat it all at once’ (usually about chocolate). yeah it annoys me. and I tend to get snippy when people tell me how ‘unhealthy’ my food is. mainly cause it’s really sad though? anyway, I am lucky cause despite random odd comments most of my non-EDd friends are fairly normal and never on diets or anything. I guess they just absorb some of what’s in the media and popular culture etc.
anyway part of the reason I love and admire your blog is I feel like we have a lot in common with the random/fun way we eat, picking at stuff and not always having sit down fat/protein/carb balanced meals etc…which seems rather rare! but so much fun
x Fi
amazing post. between the eggs, pork and garlic buttery yumminess i WOULD LOVE THAT PLACE!!!!!!
i keep looking for food expos, i have absoluetly GOT to find one!!
“By that, I mean look for eaters. Now, notice that I did not say foodies. Foodies can tend to have an unnatural obsession for food, too. By eaters, I mean people who simply…eat”
THIS IS MONEY QUOTE GIRL. thats why i like to hang with my mom. she just….eats. no thought entailed in it, she eats, what she wants, and lives. crazy haha but manageable
wow you made a really good point!
oooo thick toast yummy but those eggs are seriously toooo runny haha
My sister is really skinny and has been trying to gain weight all her life and we’re really close so there is no negative food talk from her at all. In fact, she encourages me to eat everything in sight. She had a really good relationship with food that I wish I had too. She eats what she wants but can totally just stop and say no when she’s full. My problem is that if I eat what I want, I want (and often do) eat it ALL leading to me overeating. Like seriously, a food expo…man that would NOT be good for me. Haha. I will say though, if I eat one big meal and I am just stuffed, I won’t need to eat for the rest of the day. That’s actually how my sister eats, one big and indulgent meal and then she usually isn’t hungry so she doesnt eat again. If she is hungry though, she has no shame at all to eat more. I need to learn from her!!
My bf make some comments about food which bothers me but we have talked about it and he has stopped. He has been very supportive throughout my recovery process.
A great post, Sophia. I am sympathetic to the fact that, for many women in and after recovery, it’s crucial to not fetishize food or think about it too much. My own recovery path is different: I do place a great emphasis on proper meals, and I don’t snack on the go, and I do think a whole lot about nutrition — I intend to shape a career from it! I have friends who have the kind of easygoing relationship to food that you speak of, but I can’t say I relate directly, even if I appreciate it in them. This is very far from what you describe, but it has given me a love of food and a 7+ year recovery, so I figure it works for me! Still, I love that you’re discovering the joys of non-obsession, which I *can* relate to, and celebrate
i think like many things, negative talk can be addicting, love your approach! and all this food looks so amazing, i need to plan a trip another trip
Everyone (like my friends) expect me to be a real stickler about food. They assume I’m a vegetarian. They gasp if they see me eat something fried. It’s very hard to make people understand the difference between not caring about what you eat and caring way too much.
I must stop reading your blog or I will max out my credit cards to fly to Singapore for amazing food.
Or I’ll just ruin my keyboard by drooling all over it.
But I love the Pollen-esque reasoning. It so works.
Everything looks SOOOO good!! I want to eat it all! My sister-in-law was just in Singapore and she describes so many of the same foods in her blog. It’s fun to see the comparisons! The monkeys are cute, but like you said…mean! At least that’s what they say! I still want to encounter one out of a zoo!
I envy my mom’s relationship with food. It is so healthy…SHE is so healthy. She never obsesses…eats what she wants, when she wants it, and just enough, a correct portion. So few of those in our world!
Wow! How much would i love to try some of that Otah-otah!! i’ve never heard of them, but it certainly sounds and looks delicious. One thing i miss is sheng jian bao!!! Those inflated, fried versions of xiao long bao’s. YUM…The stuff made in Shanghai…awesome stuff and $1 for 3.
i LOVE the way you distinguish between foodies and eaters!!! This is something I’ve always suspected but never quite been able to articulate. I definitely feel more comfortable with eaters than foodies!
You are eating and posting faster than I can comment!
Anyway, great Pollen-esque tip: you are right — people are always talking about dieting and such, and it drives me nuts sometimes. BTW, the desserts in your last post look amazing! I’m jealous.
why are you so gorgeous!!!!!!!!????? o-m-g lol. ur family is ADORABLE!!!
btw i totally know what u mean about foodies talking about food 24/7.. even at yoga when im in the changeroom.. or showering.. all i hear is “oh yea, i just made this cool casserole with veggies” …. or “omg i need to plan out what im gonna eat for lunch and dinner.. hmm how about fish.. no i dont want fish.. maybe chicken?” LOL .. i wanna yell “WE’RE IN THE SHOWER LADIES!! COME ON!!” .. but even at restaruants i wanna keep the conversation about different things.. not just the food uno? great post!
Back when I was ED-ed up I had one friend who constantly talked about calories and was always on some new fad diet. She lived near my parents and so after I recovered at school for a year and then went home for the summer, I tried to talk to her about changing her ways, etc. And when she wouldn’t, I stopped returning her calls. It was too hard for me to resist going back to that mentality when she was around. Sad, but necessary.
And honestly…as you were going through all that food – I didn’t for a second think UGH calories. Instead, it was more like…god I want a pork bun.
Love this post. I need more eaters in my life… I know foodies and I know the people who talk constantly about diets, calories, etc. The only eater I know is my little brother. Oh, and my uncle. Both of whom I rarely see but cherish every second I have with them.
Why is the world so weight/food obsessed? It drives me nuts. But on the other hand, I am one of those people and have probably driven my eater friends away because it is really freaking WEIRD to be so obsessed with something that comes so naturally to them.
Oh, and when I lived in NY? I had eater friends and followed suit. Not completely, and not always 100% calmly, but I ‘tasted’ it…’scuse the pun.
I’m all about enjoying food – no regrets. I don’t surround myself around people who are constantly worried about calories, fat, etc and it makes eating enjoyable.
Looks like you are having a wonderful trip!
Oh Sophia! Everything is to die for…the food looks so yummie…I want to taste them all
That garlic-butter saturated garlic bread looks divine! I am absolutely going to try to recreate that one…I’ll just have to steer clear of Mike later that day (either that or let him enjoy some with me!).
That’s really crazy about the monkeys…I totally believe it though. One of my friends got bitten by a deer…I guess you never know what kind of animals are savage, lol!
Mmmm the pork rolls look sooo good! I can just imagine the hot juice burst!
AHHH THE MONKEYS!!!!!!!!!! I’d totally be the moron who gets her arm chewed off b/c I was trying to be their friend. hehe
I don’t have anybody in my life that partakes in negative talk – about food or body. My entire family and most friends are eaters and love food and cooking and sharing recipes and dishes and restaurants. I also tend to visit blogs of people that I would cook their food – real dishes they make from real ingredients. I would never eat the same low calorie thing over and over and over again every single day for breakfast or snack so I don’t visit blogs that do the same. I also find all of their constant talk about calories or exercise to be stressful, so don’t participate. It seems like two different worlds to me, and I know I’m missing out on “popular” blogs but I really don’t care b/c it doesn’t interest me, as “hip” as it is to follow them!
Garlic over men. Always
For me, it’s all about portion control and balance, both which you touch upon in this post. Hell yes I would eat fried refined flours, chinese sausages and even a banana leaf!! But it needs to be in small amounts, and balanced out with some fresh fruit, veggies and whole grains. Maintaining a weight loss is sometimes a tricky balance of all these things, but I’ve so far been able to do it without feeling the least bit restricted
For me it’s just all about knowing when to stop.
Surrounding yourself with good eaters is key too (and I agree on the difference between eaters and foodies). I must say though – it’s hard to find people who don’t have a strained relationship with food!
About a year ago I took my first pro-active step regarding a friend’s fat talking. She said something about the cheesecake she was eating going straight to her thighs, and I gently told her that those kinds of comments are not only demeaning to her, but they could have unintended effects on others who may be struggling in ways she wasn’t aware of. She took it well!
Such a great post Sophia. You’ve made an excellent point. I never realized how “obsessed” with food I was when I had an ED, and when I was healing from it. My family and close friends pointed it out and I never understood it, but looking back I totally get it. It definitely helps to pull away from people who talk about food, diet, nutrition…because it really does make it worse. There are other things in life!! MANY other things. I hope this message gets through to your readers who are recovering from ED, it’s SO important.
BTW that garlicy bread looks ORGASMIC.
another fabulous post! as a person without an ED history, i still TOTALLY understand what you are saying and where you are coming from. i’m also currently on vacation and just enjoying trying whatever crosses my path and looks good — i know it will all balance out in the long run! and i’m glad to see i’m not the only one
the title of this post cracks me up. most people i know now know about my eating disorder history (from the blog) and are careful about what they say. but even when people do say stuff, i have learned throughout the years not take anything personally.
Wow…what great eats you had! Spicy garlic toast sounds absolutely amazing!
I’m surrounded by great eaters, thankfully! I think you have a great piece of advice here!
your opening was perfect. omg so perfect.
and the ode to eaters, not foodies. love it
i do eat a salad for dinner but i enjoy it and want it and crave it. and when i say salad, i mean heaped with veggies and protein like edamame or nuts or whatever…this is my vegan fuel.
But i am so sick and tired of going to fat talk blogs and all these blogs where all they talk about it counting and obsessing, etc Frankly i dont even want to read half the food blogs i go to b/c i dont care about the food! I just want to have human connection that doesnt revolve around food.
Monkeys. they are NOT to be messed with. AFter 5 weeks in the jungle in costa rica and the howler monkeys were throwing sh*t at our barracks and little huts and literally trying to break the doors down to get it, they can be very viscious, and well, animal-like. Indeed, they are animals and need to be treated that way..not “Cute little pets”.
Great post, Sophia!
My best friend through high school had a very serious eating disorder. As did I. I feel like we fed off each other, and made each other sicker. Now, I hate to say it, but Ive cut her out of my life. I feel like I’ve put in the effort to get myself together and she hasnt. As hard as it is, at some point I had to think about me. It really does make a huge difference.
I’m really fortunate that I have always been surrounded by “eaters.” I have noticed that the times in my life when I live with, or eat with girls more than guys I find myself sliding more into what I call “salad mode.” Luckily, most of my meals are now eaten with my boyfriend who I swear has two hollow legs!
I love eggs with soy sauce! Had I known that was actually a normal thing to eat somewhere, I wouldn’t have felt as weird about it! Guess I need to go to Singnapore.
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