I am. Blown. Away. By all your sincere and empathetic responses to my last post. To be honest, my finger quivered a bit before I hit the “publish” button. I don’t know what I was nervous about: Exposing an image of myself when I was soulless? Sounding too evangelical? Being potentially triggering?

But now, I’m glad I did it. It’s not just about exposing the frightening, soul-sucking side of an eating disorder. It’s not just about showing the depths to which I’ve sunk. It’s a heartfelt, passionate declaration against all the evil forces that binds and oppresses so many people out there: You. Don’t. Own. Me. Not anymore, not ever.

We all have our demons. Mine just happened to take a more physical form. But it pains me, to see so many loved ones around me, right within my own social circle, who struggle so much, each with their own obsessions and oppressions.

I don’t believe that. I believe that in order to be able to love yourself, you need to first receive and accept love from others. You might think, or say to yourself, Oh, but nobody can possibly love me…But you’re wrong. Somebody does love you. There is always someone, out there, who loves and thinks about you.

Stop trying to rationalize love. Love is irrational. You can’t possibly love anyone if you start being rational, because nobody is lovable. Everyone is flawed. But that’s what makes love so freaking beautiful. Because it overlooks all weaknesses and mistakes. It simply is. Because love comes from one source only, and that is God.

But I recall every taste and texture of it.

Kabocha Crepe with Creamy Edamame Filling

Kabocha Crepe:

• 1/2 cup flour
• 1 egg, beaten
• 1/3 cup cooked kabocha, mashed
• 1/3 cup milk
• 1 tablespoon oil

Edamame filling:

• 1 cup cooked edamame
• 1 avocado
• 4 tablespoon cream cheese
• squeeze of lime juice (or lemon)
• salt and pepper
• 1/2 apple, thinly sliced

To make the crepe, just blend all the crepe ingredients together. Let it sit for about 30 minutes or so. Then heat up pan with about a teaspoon oil or butter. Ladle in crepe batter and thin it out. Cook on one side; flip, cook the other.

For the edamame filling, blend everything together except for the apple.

Assemble the crepe: stuff each crepe with as much edamame filling as you want, and add the sliced apples.

Ooh. Looking classy. Delicate and simple.
I’m not sure I can say this is so much a crepe than a very thin pancake…it didn’t thin out as much as I wanted it to, but then, it does have that dense kabocha in it. The texture was nice, though—sort of chewy, with a delicate kabocha flavor.
The color was lovely, too. A gorgeous pastel orange.
I made this random edamame filling because of Operation Flush-the-Pantry. I just had to use up the last of my bag of frozen edamame, an overripe avocado, and the last of my cream cheese.
 It actually worked well in this crepe. Edamame has a naturally sweet and mild flavor, and together with the creamy smooth avocado, made for both a pleasant, light flavor and texture.
I had some of that edamame filling left, which I later stuffed it into a wrap, with a Granny Smith apple and the goat’s brie I got from Papa Cristo’s, and then grilled:
LOVE! Is anything more delightful than hot, melted brie?
You can pretty much use this edamame filling for anything, other than sandwich filling or spread. Maybe as a dip…or stuffed into a chicken breast…or baked on top of salmon…
But I like sandwiches and wraps. And I had to have my fill, since I don’t think I’ll be eating much sandwiches and wraps this summer, either.

Related posts:

1. You’re Invited to the Blogger Warm Fuzzies Game!
2. “Sophia Cuisine” Reigns Supreme!!
3. God Bless America
4. The Difference Between Obsession and Passion
5. Open for Discussion: Is Total Recovery Possible?

Tagged as: apples, avocado, brie, cheese, cream cheese, crepes, edamame, kabocha, wrap