Decisions, decisions. Some decisions are easy and clear-cut. It’s either A, or B. But others…they’re not so easy. Especially when there is no right answer. And especially when neither of the choices you face are favorable.
On my last post, I talked about stress, and how to deal with it. At least, how I’m trying to deal with it. I’m not gonna lie and say that from the moment I wrote that post, all stress rolled away from my shoulders. Because dealing with stress? It’s not a one-time thing. It’s a constant, day-to-day, moment-to-moment decision-making battle.
The weight have lessened because I have “puked out” some stupid stress factors that are not worth it, but I still have a few things that weigh heavy on my mind— things that actually…kind of matter, things on which I have to make decisions. You see, half of dealing with stress is simply making a decision. Unfortunately, making decisions isn’t always easy.
Okay, here are a couple big decisions that I need to make: First, housing for next year. Our school assigns housing by a general lottery. Every housing applicant is assigned a certain time to pick and choose their housing for next year. I happened to be assigned a really, really late time, so by the time I got online to choose, I was left with severely limited choices. The only remotely okay place left with a kitchen was a small apartment shared between four students. Three of the spots were already filled, and I took up the fourth spot. Overall, I was satisfied, and curious about who my future housemates were. I had visions of the four of us chumming and baking corn muffins together.
Well, there will be no corn muffins…unless there’s pot in them. A random girl suddenly found me through Facebook, saying that those three students were her “best friends”…and that she wanted my spot. She also added that she and her friends “don’t believe in religion”, and that they do illegal substances and bring boys over to spend the night. “You seem like a sweet girl,” she said. “But from what I see from your Facebook details, I don’t think you are a right fit for my friends.”
Correction: You’re not the right fit for me. Maybe this girl was lying and trying to scare me away. But I sure as hell was not gonna spend a whole year living with three girls who would resent me for taking up their best friend’s spot. So I canceled my housing assignment. Which left me with…nothing. I can’t even re-assign, since all spaces were taken up already.
So where will I live next year? I have no idea. I’ve been looking at some off-campus housing, but I have yet to find a spot that 1) is close enough for me to walk to campus, and 2) isn’t over my budget. With my dad’s clergy salary, there is no way I can pay for a $1000+ monthly rent.
But wait— there is one option…which is to live in a community housing provided by my church fellowship group. It’s a big house shared by about 20 girls, all Jesus-lovers. Sounds ideal for me, right?
Wrong. I do love hanging out with my church friends…but honestly, not 24/7. I don’t like hanging out with anyone all the time, period. I’m a person who really values my private space and time. I hate forced casual talk. I hate having to smile and act happy when I’m feeling crummy. I hate being asked out to events all the time. All of which I would have to endure if I live there.
But this place seems to be the only choice left for me at the moment…and I still can’t seem to make a final decision on it. For now, I’m still looking for someplace that isn’t over my budget, but none is available, and time is running out.
Tired of me complaining yet? Wait, there’s more. The second decision I have to make: Spring break. Specifically, a trip my church friends are making to San Francisco. Initially, I said yes. I was even so excited about it. And then, with my project partner bailing on me, I was suddenly hit by an unexpected workload. And now, I don’t even think I will enjoy the trip if I go, because I will always have that anxiety at the back of my mind about the two mid-terms and project presentation waiting for me when I get back. In addition, I’m worried about the cost of the trip, especially because I kind of went over my budget this month. On the other hand, I also feel terrible for disappointing my friends, who keep pressuring me to go.
So again, I’m grappling with decisions that are based on unfavorable choices: I’m afraid of all the stress I’ll have living in a big house with constant socializing but I don’t want to pay so much for other housing options. I’m don’t want to spend $150 on a trip to San Francisco worrying about the stuff I should be getting done, but I don’t want to spend spring break all alone, either.
Actually, I guess I might be making these decisions more complicated than they really are. I admit, the underlying factor behind my indecision is due to my own preconceived ideals and likes. I like things a certain way. I want things to turn out the way I planned them to. And because they’re not, I’m extremely stressed about having to make a decision on less-than-ideal options.
Also, I’m stressed out over stressing over future stress. Yeah. Triple stress. I’m hesitant to make a decision yet because of apprehension of all the future things that I think will happen. Sigh. Decisions, decisions.
It’s kind of like food. What is so complicated about food? It’s there to eat, or not to eat. We either like a certain food, or not. But then we make it so damn complicated by worrying and obsessing over the eeny meeny details, all based on our own perception of the “ideal” food: Is it nutritious? Is it organic? Is it local? How many calories and fat? Does it have trans fat, HFCS, artificial sweetener, preservatives, etc? Does it have enough fiber, protein, omega-3 fats, and blah blah blah.
Oh, humans. We just love complicating things for ourselves, don’t we?
Well, thank God for Sweet Treat Wednesdays and Fried Food Thursdays. I’d like to think that they uncomplicate things: all you need to do is find a sweet treat and a fried item. And then eat it, without worrying about its contents. And I have to say, they are a gentle (and yummy) reminder for me to take a step back, and just enjoy something in its simplicity.
For my Sweet Treat yesterday, I stopped by the Mexican bakery near my school again. I’m really liking this place, for its wide variety of pastries and sweet breads, and its reasonable prices. I got this for just 60 cents!
It’s a jumbo-sized cream cheese muffin, topped with cinnamon-sugar. 
Surprisingly, it wasn’t all that sweet, even with the sugary crust. The texture was just the right proportion of density to fluffiness, and the flavor was rich and buttery. 
I ate half of it as a mid-morning snack, and then finished the rest during class. Yum. Hit the spot! Besides scones, muffins are my favorite baked good.
For Fried Food Thursday (that’s today), I made a third trip to the Dim Sum Food Truck: 
Yes, it’s the third time I’ve visited this truck, but the first time I actually ordered anything. I have had a tough time trying to score an interview with the truck owner, a young USC alumni named Alex Chu. 
Long story short, never try to interview a food truck owner during their business hours. Especially when they’re popular with never-ending lines like these: 
…that just kept growing… 
…and growing like an evil magical snake: 
We students trapped in downtown LA without a car are gravely deprived of good dim sum. So Alex is kind of a god-send. But he’s a horrible interviewee. Other than that, he’s a pretty cool guy. He’s actually only 22—the same age as me, except he has his own business and I’m still a measly first-year student in college desperately trying to get an interview with him. 
Look at that cocky smile. The “I’m so cool, I’m wearing a Dim Sum shirt” smirk. But even a hotshot food truck owner needs to pay for the parking meter: 
And to be fair, he did look pretty busy: 
I finally finished my interview with him last week (it only took the entire day of waiting and waiting), but I wanted to try his food for real today. I heard about his sesame seed balls (a deep-fried glutinous rice ball with lotus seed paste filling), so I really wanted to try it as a snack for Fried Food Thursday. Unfortunately, things got a bit complicated again: They were totally out of sesame balls.
“Damn it!” I cried out. The girl in the truck raised her eyebrows. The customers behind me gasped. But I was kind of pissed. This ruined my plans! My perfect plan to get a deep-fried sesame seed ball to celebrate Fried Food Thursday!
And then I realized how stupid I sounded. Why was I getting so stressed up over following a little rule someone made about a certain day of the week? Whoever said I can’t have a different fried food? Whoever said I can’t have a fried food on—gasp—a Friday?
Stress Begone Rule #1: Nothing is more important than my inner peace and joy. And certainly not a sesame seed ball!
So I ordered a pork and shrimp shu mai instead: 
And for all it’s worth (a freaking $2.50 for just three small dumpings), it was delicious. It was a wonton wrapper filled with juicy pork filling with bits of plump shrimp. 
The sauce is Alex’s special sauce. He revealed some of the ingredients to me: garlic, chili, oyster sauce…and some more he refused to tell. But it’s a sauce he’s really proud of, because it’s unique to the Dim Sum truck. 
At first I thought it was way too salty—and then on second try, I grew to really like it. It complemented really well with the shu mai. 
After I finished this, I regretted not spending a few more bucks on some other items. Oh well. I’ll have opportunities every week! 
See you next week, Dim Sum truck!
So. I didn’t get my Fried Food Thursday in today. Guess I’ll have to make that a Fried Food Friday instead. And I certainly am not gonna stress out about it. I have other things to stress over, like the fact that I may be homeless next school year.
Okay, I’m not exactly going to be homeless. I know God will take care of me. And I feel like He’s going to teach me something through these tough decisions. So…no worries. I will be fine. 
Question of the day: What are some decisions you make each day that may not be as complicated as you make it to be? And…What was your Sweet Treat Wednesday and Fried Food Thursday?
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I overcomplicate most things! My sweet treat Wednesday was a nice big waffle with butter and syrup, and my Fried Food Thursday. . . hmm haven’t had it yet. But now I need to!
Just about everything I do I have a knack for making more complicated!!! Down to obsessing over dinner, stressing about my weight workouts for the NEXT week. I need to enjoy just being in the moment. It’s so hard though. Why is that? It shouldn’t be, but it is. No fried foods for me. I guess my sweet treat last night was a whole-grain caramel rice cake that I topped with natural creamy peanut butter and a square of Averie’s raw vegan caramels that I made previously in the week.
I heard eating out of trucks was all the rage in LA…
oooooooooohmy. i know id fall in love with that sauce immediately. i can sort of taste it through the screen.
love, love, love your food & stress analogy. i believe it was avril lavigne who first said, “why’d you have to go and make things so complicated?” what a wise emo chica.
I’m sorry about all the stress. I hope you find a good place to live, I think you’ll be happy you cancelled that apartment though!
Also that Dim Sum must have improved things a little…..looks AMAZING.
This reminds me of “The Paradox of Choice.” Ever since I read that book, I have way less trouble with decisions. For me, it’s about accepting that there is no “perfect” decision. And if I’m not happy with what I pick for dinner tonight, I can make a different choice tomorrow. I used to put a TON of pressure on all decisions. I guess I’m more easygoing now, not always looking for the absolute best. Looking for the best just causes me grief!
Let’s see…I guess my sweet treat would be this frozen yogurt I got at Trader Joe’s. I love it. I usually don’t like frozen yogurt because it’s so grainy, but this is like actual yogurt, just frozen. It’s creamy! I haven’t had fried food today, but I just ate some very greasy sweet potato chips. Does that count?
omg LOVE that dim sum truck! I have never seen one of those around here
I hope too soon though, that would be awesome!! and that muffin…ahh cream cheese muffin that tasted buttery?!?! umm i want one right now!
so sorry you are a bit stressed right now, I truly hope that everything works out for you…I made a BIG decision a while back to NOT live with one of my friends, but the thing was that we had already signed a lease on an apt and then I backed out after we signed. Everything was ok, legally, but she was not happy and it took alot for me to admit that i didn’t feel comfortable living in the apt that we had agreed on. We are fine now and back to being best friends, but that was a VERY difficult moment in my life.
sweet treat wednesday? I did have some fro yo for dessert yesterday!
Things will work out – they always do!
Atlanta is trying to push for food carts right now and I hope it happens so we have stuff like this rolling around the city!
I definitely feel you with the housing anxiety! Up until three days before this semester started I didn’t have a place to live since Campus Living screwed me over- but at the last minute I ended up getting a spot in the on campus apartments. Spaces open up- is there a waitlist you can be on in the time being to help ease your anxiety in finding off campus housing?
As for the SF trip…do you workload aside really want to go or are just kind of not feeling it? If the latter- I’d say stay in LA, SF is so close that there will be plenty of better opportunities to go
I overcomplicate stuff too…still with food (just not as much in an ED way anymore but since I’m FAR LESS picky than ever, i go crazy trying to decide what it is i want to eat, etc etc.) or even with planning logistics with friends and stuff- drives me crazyyy!
Don’t worry my dear, things always work out one way or another
Your housing thing sounds like a pain, but you will figure it out! Things have a way of coming together.
I want a corn muffin. I know yours was a cream cheese one, but it looks like corn and I want corn.
I haven’t had Dim Sum in ages! Its sooo good!
I tend to make so many things complicated! I need to work on that
wow socal has awesome truckstands like gogi?
don’t be stressed sophia! decisions are tough but hey what can you do?
why are girls still soo immature? hello! high school was 4 years ago sweetie! haha
Your friend is cute! lol
I think it comes down to respecting each other’s space! Your church friends will be good for your soul- as long as you respect each others privacy and realize you do not have to hang out 24/7. Have you thought of renting off campus? Like a basement suite from a nice older couple? I really hope you find something that puts you at ease!
Love, Barbara
Awww, Sophia! I want to just reach out and give you a hug…so, I am doing that right now…can you feel it? I hate that you are stressed. But, I know things will all turn out OK for you. As you said in your post, God will take care of you. I believe that He will; you just have to trust Him.
I can’t believe that shumai was $2.50?! But I guess cool Alex has to pay for his hair gel…hahaha! He doesn’t know how popular you are. If I were him, I would have given you free food and given you an hour for an interview. Sheesh!
Try not to stress, my dear. I know you will be fine. Just take it easy and take it one day at a time.
Gah, passive agressive people plus the stress of the housing… I would be stressing about that too. I’ll be praying you find something – and I understand the need for good alone time. Fellowship is great, but so is solitude
Those dumplings look so amazing! Hope you feel better girl, sending good vibes your way to be less stressed. I get stressed very easily and can relate. Take deep breaths!
I can understand the multitude of stress piled on top of each other during school. It will all sort itself out. Things always have a way of working out if you stay optimistic.
Dim Sum dude is a total hottie, I want some of that! Being that I am 10 yrs old than him and married and all
Living arrangements, I know this seems really stressful, but right now I am in the midst of my own housing limbo, with a husband, child, mortgage, you name it, housing issues crop up, but they do resolve themselves and just know the perfect place will present itself to you, Sophia. God will help you.
love you honey!
It seems like a universal rule that everything has to happen at once…and also that I complicate everything in my world. So, while I can’t help you with the housing situation, I can tell you that with everything else, you have to do what is best for YOU. You can’t worry about how others will react or “feel,” as there’s no way to predict that sort of thing. What you do know is what is best for you–if it’s not going on vacation and instead focusing on your studies, that’s what you should do.
With everything else, I have faith it will work out. A couple weeks from now you’ll look back at this post and realize that things weren’t quite as dire as they feel like right now, in the eye of the storm. School stress sucks, but it’s not the end of the world. We always have options, even if they’re not exactly what we want them to be!
Hang in there, sister!
Hey Sophia,
I’ve been a lurker and RSS subscriber for months…but here I am coming out!
That muffin looks really nice. My favorite muffin is lemon poppy seed, but cinnamon and sugar are one of my favorite combinations.
Dumplings are also definitely one of my most favorite Asian foods…if I can get Korean food, I really love ddeokbokki. Do you have a recipe for it??
And I hope the housing works itself out. I’m sure it will.
remember to breathe and that, no matter how stressful housing seems now, everything will work out. i think that schools make housing to be a way worse process than it should be!!
The pork and shrimp shu mai looks scrumptious! Good luck with your decisions and housing. I do tend to stress out quite a lot over little decisions but thankfully my husband is always there to help.
Sophia, I am so sorry you are having trouble finding house…I wish you hadn’t backed out of that first place just because of that lame girl and her email. That sucks! I suggest you look into moving downtown…I remember that Promenade Towers was very reasonable with a roommate, not sure if it still is. And there are whole new bunch of buildings that are probably vacant. It is worth a try!
Love your determination to interview the truck owner. That takes a lot of courage and motivation. I need to take a few lessons from you, despite the fact I am 10 years older!
I’m so jealous of the Dim Sum truck – how cool! Good luck with your housing decision – I remember that being a little stressful. Definitely go on the spring break trip though – years from now, you won’t remember your projects or the grade you got, but you will remember the trips you took with your friends!
I’m sure things will work out for you. You can do it. Just take step back, breathe and things will come together before your eyes.
I’ve heard quite a bit about that dim sum truck. want to try that now. I may ust have to take a trip down to USC just for that. haha…
I’m sorry you are stressing with these hard decisions. You’re right, though, pray about it and God will help you through. I had Paula’s Loaded Oatmeal Cookies (with brown butter icing!) on Wednesday but I didn’t eat anything fried today either. I hope you work everything out to where you are happy, and even if you are not initially happy with your decision, I bet you can make it so.
Aw, I would so let you room with me if I went to your school! Ha! I know we’d get along cause I like to have my private time too!
Hey, that guy was super cute! Don’t tell me you didn’t notice?!
<3Tori
Oh Sophia, I can see why you’d be bent out of shape about next year’s housing. Living situations have always been a huge stressor for me. I’m glad you got out of the 3 roommate situation though. Too bad you won’t be baking corn muffins with them next year. Can you see yourself baking corn muffins with your church friends?
OMG I can’t believe you cancelled so easily Sophia!!! Holy smokes, that’s where we stop being twins, seriously!
I never, ever give up that easily. I’m as stubborn as an ox. I would have gone to the school w/ the shit she said to me on Facebook and asked them to address it. Although I do agree it sounds like that would have been a crappy option for you! How upsetting! Just think and pray on it and I’m sure something will come up. This just might be a blessing in disguise!
That cream cheese muffin looks delicious!!! I had TACO BELL tonight in your honor girlie! I totally had you in mind for Fried Food Thursday! Although I haven’t had Taco Bell in like 2 yrs and now I’m regretting it.. hehe
Reading this post calmed me. My anxieties with food have been all over the place lately… getting worked up and then de-stressing and then freaking out again. It’s frustrating to deal with!
That’s really unfortunate about the housing situation. At least the option is there to stay with the church group if all else fails, though, right? Nice to have that as a back-up! Keep looking; the perfect place might be waiting for you yet. There’s a REASON why you haven’t found a place yet, dear
I turn every decision into a BIG deal
It is a problem.
That dim sum guy is kinda cute!
I totally agree with you about hating small talk etc., I am the same way.
Your food pics in this post blow my mind.
Hey Sofia! I totally understand all the stress you’re under. Those are a lot of decisions! And I also get really anxious when my “plans” or even just things I expected would happen, change suddenly. It’s like I don’t have the time to mentally prepare and plan out everything, and I’m a HUGE planner.
But I promise things will work out for the best no matter what, and you’ll deal just fine when the time comes because that’s just what we humans do. Whether we stress about it or not, these things will happen and you have to make the best of the situation, and before you know it, it will be over or you’ll be caught up in the middle of it enjoying life again. The housing situation isn’t ideal but I really think you could work it to where you can still get your independent time while you’re there and then go out only when you choose to. You just have to learn to stick up for yourself and what you need, your friends will soon grow accustomed to your routines just like you’ll have to do with theirs.
The SF trip is up to you and depends on your work load. I understand that too, I just opted out of a family vacation because I need some time to adjust to my own home still! But I will actually be meeting my parents in SF for work on the 21st-25th so maybe we’d be there at the same time!!
Oh, and I second what Averie said, Dim Sum boy is cute!!! You should go to that truck as often as possible, who knows what might happen
free dim sum?
Keep your chin up and things will be ok. And check out my blog because I FINALLY updated with some pretty AZ pics.
<3
Gosh Sophia, I am so sorry. I hope you able to find a house and nice roommate as well. It must be very tough, o wonder you are stressing out. Good that you have this dim sum truck to perhaps can release some of your strees?
I.want.that.muffin.
I think I am the queen of complicating decisions- I will agonise for hours over which flavour of protein bar to eat. But I will move 3000 miles away at the drop of a hat, with no hesitation. So odd. Good luck with the housing- maybe a blogger will adopt you for the year!!!!!
or someone might back out- do you have your name on a waiting list?
sweet treat- do the zillions of chocolate chips I ate yesterday count? I just discovered how awesome they taste straight out of this fridge. This is only the beginning of an obsession…you heard it here first!
Awe Sophia I’m so sorry to hear that things are not going so smoothly for you lately. If I were living in LA I would totally share my home with you. You seem like such a pleasant person to be around. Although my two screaming kids would probably very quickly be one of your stress factors. Good luck with everything. I hope all works out well for you.
Keep working on the housing situation and i am sure you will get it sorted out. Life gets complicated as we get older and take on more responsibilities but one also build up thick skin & problem solving skills – which require good attitude and determination – which you already have. My situation is currently complicated to the max and I think I will need God’s help to survive. What will next year be like? I had crepe with strawberry and yesterday was better than today.
OOoooh, you’re such a great, honest and sweet girl.
First of al: a big hug to you! Because I know how difficult making choices can be (believe me) and because of the problems you’re facing.
Too bad I don’t live near you! I really hope there will be a nice housing for you soon and everything will work out… Sending all my love and good hope!
xxx Julia (Taste of Living)
Have you ever seen this Ted Talks video on happiness? Basically, this Harvard psychologist says that some humans are better at being happy even when they don’t get what they want. Please watch it and it’ll make you feel much better, I promise. http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_asks_why_are_we_happy.html
Like I mentioned before, I have so much stuff going on this week, but I’ve decided not to stress out about it after reading your post yesterday. I got through my final fine, and am almost done with my take-home final. I still have to write my 10-page research paper due tomorrow [bought coffee to sustain me for the night]. And… I need to find a faculty mentor for my research next quarter, as well as get a visa to enter Vietnam in like… 3 days.
Basically, I have all these things to worry about but I realized rather than worry about it, I’ll just do it. I didn’t worry about my final today. I just studied for it, took it, and it was done. I’m not worried about my paper due tomorrow cuz I’m going to write it and it’ll be done.
One thing you can always count on about us UCLA [& yes even USC] students is that we will get things done, and usually at least 85% will be great. So just know that you’ll get that project done, you’ll get housing, and you will be happy. Every decision we make we tend to be happy with [watch the video] at the end of the day. I’m sure it was all in His plan. Good luck Sophia!
LOL at swearing when the ran out of food. That’s perfectly acceptable!
First of all, Alex is CUTE!!
(Sorrryyy… I got distracted from the main story of ur post, after seeing his picture
)
Anyway, I understand the part about stress…coz I’m facing it too. Worry too much about things, stressing myself out with the anticipation of change, etc… it must have something to do with our personalities, huh
Oh, how you remind me of my student days in Massachusetts…those food trucks…hey, they don’t have dim sum ;(
oh.. .i want dim sum truck here too!!!!! those shao mai looks amazing!!!! well… the dim sum guy looks cool as well!
all undergrad that i know from school eventually got this housing anxiety stage. I never had similar experience.. but I’d say just calm down, do a rational analysis of the situation and decide asap because uncertainty is the worse thing.
Yikes.. whether or not you are making things worse for yourself by stressing, there is no doubt that your life is a little complicated at the moment. At least you are not completely in the dark, even though the community housing might not be your cup of tea, it’s better than nothing
You will make it out alive, and it will make you appreciate your own space even more when you finally get it back.
<3 Tat
Yummm that cream cheese muffin looks delicious!! And a dim sum truck? Is there anything better? I love how much you seem to enjoy each and every thing you eat!
Thanks for your advice and comment on my blog! I appreciate it!
Oh Sophia, I will definitely be praying for you. It’s so difficult to face the uncertainties of the future sometimes. But always remember to cast all your anxieties on Him. Trust Him and He will lead you where you should go. As for making decisions, I often worry about this and that too. I’m learning to just let things flow and to not demand that I have everything my way all the time. Hugs…
Tonight we are going to our favorite pub, and fried food will have to be on my order list! They have really good chicken wings, and I think that sounds just fine!
Alex Chu is mighty fine. Good for you for being persistent and finally scoring at least some “interview” and picture time. The food sounds so good, I can see why the line was never ending.
Regarding the question you asked on my blog, there are more nutrients in the head, than in the stem. I believe the stem still has a lot of vitamin C, but it’s missing the healthy carotenoids!
I hope oyu figure out the rooming situation soon. Nick and I are fighting over a house currently, no fun.
Ack! I’m sorry about your rooming situation–what a bummer. I hope it gets resolved!
My decision each day…sometimes I can be very indecisive if I have a lot of choices, such as what I end up wearing. I’m all for grab and go but some mornings I feel “guilty” for not dressing up (like when I’m sick)–totaly frivilous and completely unnecessary!
My sister and I celebrated Sweet Treat Wednesday with a sampling of key lime tarts, homemade carrot cakes, and a chocolate-raspberry bar with pecans from a local bakery where we’re visiting. Each bite was incredible.
I know exactly what you mean in relation to all that stress of what hasn’t happened yet. I hate when things don’t go as planned, but unfortunately, it’s part of life. Rooming situations have caused me ridiculous amounts of stress recently, and let me tell you, you’re not the only one who finds living with a bunch of girls hell. I have seven roommates and one tiny kitchen, and it makes me want to shatter stuff sometimes. Have you thought of asking around to see if anyone else’s plans fell through, and maybe getting an apartment with them?
ha! I’ve never seen a truck like that but it sounds great!
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