Anyway, I feel like i know what you mean about you were a professional liar when you struggled with ED because right now, even though I don’t think I am a professional liar. I do believe in your statement: “ED changes your character into something as hideous and disgusting as he is” I think clearly, with my horrid eating disorder, i have become a much meaner, self-centered and rude person. It’s like I don’t care about the feelings about other as much as my own feelings. It’s like, i become diagnosed with the “I-disease”. Or the “Me Monster”, it’s like everything is about what I want. Worst was when I went out with family for lunch/dinner in the past. When it would be so difficult to order food because i would be like NO, don’t get that, it is such and such. Or NO, don’t eat this, there’s this and that in there. Or even grocery shopping was horrible too. I would be like no buying junk food because I don’t like it lying around the house, lest I be tempted! And when someone did buy some junk food like chips/soda/cookies or something. I would get really mad and start complaining and making a big fuss, going ok, “WHO BOUGHT THIS?! DIDN’T I TELL YOU GUYS NOT TO BUY THESE THINGS? IT’S NOT GOOD FOR YOU ANYWAY. LOOK THE FIRST/SECOND INGREDIENT IS SUGAR? WHAT IT HAS HFCS TOO!” I think at some point i was like SO mean, that my family was probably even scared of me. Like my sister told me that they had to start buying their ‘junk food’ on the weekdays while I was away to work. And that they would try their best to finish it by the weekend before I get back so I wouldn’t yell at them. Man, just thinking about this makes me really sad. How could I be so screwed up like this? It’s really nothing to ever be proud of.

This was like the way beginning (like the earlier stages of my ED) when i was like super screwed up. Like, I don’t trip as bad as that anymore. But I am sure you get the picture maybe ? Anyway, now, I don’t care as much, which is a good thing. =) But I still have those horrid traces within me. But i am trying my best. But yeah, see how monstrous I was and still kinda sorta am. But I am really a little happier that ED is losing its grip on me. But I have to be honest and I know I am still struggling and ED still has a pretty good grip on me. But I do not believe i was as bad as when I first started.

But yeah, I too would like to, thank and praise God that you were able to escape the clutches of ED! I know that God is also working with me too. Slowly but surely! I mean, He has been slowly breaking me down. And a lot more, these recent weeks with so many turn of events. One of which was stumbling upon you and your friends’ blog where you’ve shared about your past struggles. And that really super truly helps me because it’s like I’ve found someone that I could relate to. Or someone that could understand exactly what I am going through. And I am very sure that it was God that led me to your blog and to be writing this comment right now. And now, God is totally working through you to help others (like me T.T) to get through their dark days. You provide super positive encouragement for me. It is like God has used you to tell me that, clearly, with God nothing is impossible. =) So, again, the praises go to God! Thank You Jesus! Thank you!

Oh, this reminds me of the song “Jesus, Thank You”. I love that song! It makes me so happy when I hear it. So, I’m listening to it now! =) Sometimes I get all teary eye-ed singing along to this song. Yeah, I know the song is kinda old, but I really like it. =) Here is like the chorus: “Your blood has washed away my sin. Jesus, Thank You. The Father’s wrath COMPLETELY satisfied! Jesus, Thank You! Once your enemy, now seated at Your table. Jesus, Thank you!” Oh man, such good lyrics! Very comforting! Very touching! And then the ending part: “Lover of my soul, I WANT to live for You!!” Man, I totally should be living for God! NOT FOR FOOD! I REPEAT, NOT FOR FOOD! NOT FOR ANY WORLDLY THING or ANY TEMPORARY SATISFACTION! BUT FOR JESUS!! Again, for ETERNAL SATISFACTION! =)

Anyway here is the youtube link to the song to save you the trouble of searching:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJf-HXyoGL8

Okay, so not on to that mexican roll. Haha, i tried to google it too. You got my curious to what it was called. And I too could not find the name of that funny looking roll thing. It does look very interesting. When I try to search for mexican pastry on google images. I keep finding this thing that looks like a “bo luo bao” (chinese pineapple bun). haha. wow, pretty cheap 40 cents! But I do notice that usually the “less healthy” the item, the cheaper the item. Again, clutches of ED !! v.v! AGGGGGGRRGGGHHH.

Ah donuts! Was never really a fan of it! But i do remember when there was this krispy kream phase around here a while back. And i bought a dozen of glazed donuts. And I think i downed like at least 2 or 3 of them guilt-free. So, again, i don’t ‘know how i got myself in this dumb situation! Anyway, perhaps next week I can join you with sweet treat wednesday + fried food thursday! It’s weird, I was wanting to say Fried Food Friday. I guess since Friday has the sound “FRY” in it. So, fried food should be on friday! And umm, thursday should be umm, umm … Fur Foods Thursday?? haha Meaning umm, we eat something that previous had fur on them (my apologies to vegetarians/vegans but I am just trying to find something that rhymes with thursday). But there are some vegetarians food that have “fur”. For example, one can each peaches! lol! And the “hairy melon” also has “fur”. haha. Or maybe we can also eat food that has gone bad, the ones that are growing the “green fur”. haha ok that’s just sick, sorry! ^.^ Anyway, so wednesday should be, umm … umm … hen’s wednesday! Meaning we can have poultry related dishes! like EGGS!!! and and and tuesday … i guess we can call it umm … choose sweet tuesday ! … and FUN BUN MONDAY! works with sunday as well! Anyway, i bet you’re like okay jon, stop hurting yourself with these silly thoughts. But yeah, hopefully i’ll join you guys soon! and posty post post! ^.^

But yes, I agree that we all need to eat some “junk food” from time to time. I am already start incorporating those into my diet once again. And it actually makes life better and less worrisome. At least so far, that’s how i am starting to feel. =) But like you said, as long as it’s kinda like in moderation and there are other healthy foods present. =)

man, i really should have read this post about how you feel about larabars before I sent my email telling you about how i made my own larabars. lol. my apologies. ^.^ But yeah, the good thing about bars is that it’s convenient and hassle free. And sometimes you just don’t have time to make anything and you’re out in the “middle of nowhere” and you’re hungry!. So, that’s what my bars are for. like, if i go shopping or if i’m at work or a place where I know i won’t be able to buy food or make food. That’s when i bring some bars around, to keep me sustained and not have my tummy garble garble! hehe. Cherry fig looks good! Maybe it’s cuz i like figs! =) Cherry and chocolate doesn’t really appeal to me for some reason. actually it says thye are using cranberries? haha how come they call it cherry? But anyway, maybe if they swapped the cherry with banana! and then OH MAN! SCOREEE~~~ *raises arm* It can be called umm “Bandana Banana Chocolate”. Now that would be super good ^^ I mean, how hard could it be to make that, just place some parts of the “caramelized portion of banana from the “Belle banana foster” and replace with the “cranberries or cherries” in the cheeky cheery chocolate! But anyway, i’m an amatuer, so what do i know? hehe

O MAN, i think this post is way to long. okay, i really should go lol. anyway, hope you enjoyed the read, that is if you or anyone actually took the time to read this! Soon, it will be on to your newer post! anyway take care and God bless!

-Jonathan

those 18 rabbits bars look so good! i won some in a giveaway, hopefully i will get those soon!!! ill be sure to refer to your review of them so i can compare what you thought to my thoughts! haha

Happy Saturday!

Hmm .. lie? Number1? dont think u hv to dress like a duck to do Chinese dance!!