I know Valentine’s is over. But it’s still February, so I think I’m still allowed to talk about it. Actually, the truth is, I purposely avoided talking about Valentines on that day, because it has a different meaning to me. You see, I’ve never been in love (as in, the romantic kind). I’ve had plenty of schoolgirl crushes, but the guy I “liked” always ended up liking my prettier best friend. On the one instance when someone actually did end up liking me back, I immediately lost interest because the “thrill of the chase” was over.
So when I talk about love, I have to say I only have a platonic experience of it. So when I think back to my history of Valentines…well, it’s just a black hole of insignificant past. Except for one particular Valentines, which has bored a hole in my mind. No, no first kiss, or secret admirer, or blah blah blah anything juicy like that…but nevertheless, it does tie into the topic of Love.
It was February 14, 2001. Our family was having dinner together, and I was quarrelling with my mother over a teacher’s complaint that I never paid attention in class. I gave all sorts of excuses—the teacher is so boring, she slurs her words, I got the highest grade in class anyway so why does it matter, etc. I was so intent in winning my little argument with my mother that I never noticed the steam coming out of my dad’s ears. Until…
BAAM! My dad all of a sudden slammed his fist onto the dining table. He might have bellowed something at me, but I was too petrified to listen. I was more interested in the pot of miso soup, which he proceeded to pick up and smash the whole pot onto the middle of the table. The ceramic pot cracked and the broken pieces and soup splattered all over us and the wall.
Shocking, isn’t it. From all the posts I’ve done on my dad, this is a side of him that you’ve never seen before: his vicious temper and fits of violence. It’s like he’s a totally different person. And you know what? He was.
The man I call dad now is the gentlest, most loving, most sincerely compassionate man I know. Looking back, I’m always shocked by how a person can change so much. It’s not easy to quell that infamous Lee temper. I should know…because I have the same exact temper embedded in my character.
So what happened here? From my observances and experiences, that fiery temper within my dad has been tamed. It’s been subdued by the love of God. The more my dad felt and saw the evidences and warmth of God’s love, the more he enjoyed it. The more he enjoyed His love, the more he began to manifest His love. In other words, my dad has become the representation of God’s Love itself.
Base point: Love is certainly the most powerful and most miraculous and most beautiful thing on earth. It has the power to change people. It works miracles. And its beauty transcends all things…enough so that it can turn even an “ugly” person into a beautiful person.
They say a human’s basic survival needs is food, water, and shelter. But I think love should also be included as an essential necessity in one’s life.
I know the history of Valentines really started from the celebration of romantic love. I know that thousands of couples celebrate it with romantic dinners and chocolates and mushy cards. I also know that thousands more get depressed because they are single/divorced/bereaved. Thankfully, Valentines is just one single day. But love? It’s always there, all 365.25 days of the year.
Whether you have a significant other or not, there are myriads of ways to enjoy love. But I think the best example of someone who enjoys the highest level of love…is someone who shows love, is love. I had to use the example of my dad, because I’m not even close to that yet. For now, I’m still learning and discovering God’s love, which I’m slowly realizing to be infinite in all areas of my life.
Now, I have to admit though, that after that night, it kind of ruined my appetite for miso soup. Miso soup kind of unconsciously triggered negative emotions within me and until now, I’m still not the biggest fan of it. But if my dad can transform, so can my distaste for miso soup. Dig in and slurp up, dad! This particular miso-y dish is for you!
Wheat berry-Lentil Misotto (as in, risotto…get it?)
Cook the onions, garlic, and mushrooms in the Ponzu soy sauce for about 1-2 minutes. Add in the wheat berries and bean sprouts. Pour in chicken broth until covered, and bring to a boil. Simmer until reduced, and keep adding more and stirring as you simmer. Pour in desired amount of almond milk to give it some creaminess. Add the red lentils, and cook and stir while simmering until the mixture is sort of creamy and the grains are all cooked soft. Add more almond milk or chicken broth as necessary. Reduce heat, stir in parmesan cheese, honey, miso paste, and crabmeat. Stir for a minute, and then pour into a serving dish over the roasted asparagus. Top with green onions, nori, and soft-boiled egg. Drizzle with more Ponzu soy sauce if you want. And so are many more thoughts about love. Actually, I could talk on and on about love…it’s just such a deep and unlimited topic to think about, so I might even want to do a series on love…but being me, I assure you it won’t get too mushy. Question of the day: So…I wanna hear some love stories from you! What is your idea of the greatest form of love? I would love to hear anything and everything you have to say about love!
Miso or not, I was definitely salivating as I cooked this! It’s not exactly miso soup, but a hybrid of risotto…except I used wheat berries for the chewy texture, and I added the red lentils to thicken the mixture up. 
The ingredients seem long, but I didn’t need to go out of my way to look for anything; I just used whatever is available in my pantry. That’s the beauty of this kind of recipe…you can tailor it to however you want! 
I was going to have the asparagus on the side, but I thought it would be fun to pour the misotto over them. 
For the asparagus, I just sprinkled salt and pepper over them, a drizzle of olive oil and Ponzu soy sauce, a sprinkle of lemon zest, and a squeeze of lemon juice. 
Roast them in a 425 degree oven for about 20 minutes. 
I think asparagus season is here…because I got this at 97 cents/lb! 
I don’t think anyone is surprised to see a runny egg on top, is there? 
I think the wheat berries ramped up the nutritional value and chew factor, but it really defied the original concept of a creamy, velvety risotto…oh well. I love chewy stuff! But I think it’s time to go look for real arborio rice. 
Another way that would be really nice is a squeeze of orange juice with perhaps chickpeas…and arugula? Ideas are pouring!
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Sophia, completely agree that love works miracles and truly changes people. Of course, that change is lasting and complete when it is based on God’s love. Bravo for your candid recollection. Dish looks..very creative…and very healthy. Cheers
I love your story about your dad and temper! I can relate with my pops!!
I love my hubby and puppy so much. After a brutal day, I can walk in…not say anything at all, and be at peace. That’s love to me. Or lovely, at least!
I LOVE love. I am a very passionate person, so love is very important to me. My parents have shown amazing, unconditional love to me, but also taught me about God’s love, too. They basically live through God’s love, so it truly is a wonderful, sincere form of love.
I love that story, Sophia! It was shocking to read that about your dad, but it made me think back to similar parts in my life. I’ve had moments like that, too – where I’m just pushed to the edge and throw or break something. It’s as if every emotion is in you at once, turned to full blast. You don’t know which direction to go in, which to express, or how to get your feelings out so you just — BAM!
I think, looking back, the greatest form of love I’ve seen is the one that is HARDEST achieved. Love isn’t much of a reward if it’s just easily handed and a rainbow ride of perfection the entire road. There needs to be struggles, and conflict, and even sometimes where you feel like giving up. That’s when you get to see patience, and you realize that you WANT to or NEED to love that person so you keep trying despite those struggles. It’s in those struggles you learn the strength of yourself, the loved one, and the common love b/w you to succed through.
I love everything about your blog, thank you for sharing that! I have the Greek word ‘agape’ tattooed on my wrist because it means so much to me. It’s a self sacrificing type of love, it’s the type of love that ‘God would have for his people’, and it’s also a pet name in Greek.it’s all encompassing. I think it’s so much more powerful, maybe because I grew up speaking Greek or maybe because of the religious connotations.
After years of romanticism, I consider myself pretty practical in matters of love now. Love, to me, is acceptance. It’s what’s there after all the gooeyness and lust has faded. It’s compassion, patience, genuine sincerity. I feel love when I hold a door open for someone, when I reach out to someone I don’t necessarily “like,” etc. Love, I think, is an appreciation of basic humanity in all of us. It’s the polar opposite of judgment and condemnation. In that way, I think it’s the most liberating force on Earth. My husband loves me fully and completely, exactly as I am, and it’s given me freedom to change for the better.
“Misotto” lol
Thanks for telling us about your dad, Sophia. It’s always interesting (and shocking) to see how much people can change in a split second. I’ve got the famous Lam temper I inherited from my mom, and I think I scare my husband sometimes :O Speaking of which, I never was in love with anyone, never even THOUGHT about love, until I met my husband. It’s funny how one person can turn your life upside down, isn’t it?
Sophia, I am 100% in agreement with you about love’s power to change people. In high school I was one of the most angry, hurtful people I can think of – all at home. I was angry with my mom and my sisters and (ironically enough) felt righteous about it since I “knew” them. Matthew 5:21-26 always gave me guilt about my anger, but it wasn’t until I decided to *love* them that I could begin to let go of it. I would like to think that I am a lot more slow to anger now, but my hubby will be the first to nudge me when he can see that side of me creeping out.
wow thank you for sharing that story! it gives me hope that someday some of the people in my life will be able to change through love
You have the most interesting food combos… I love it!
Love is a lot more then what I thought it was. I love being in love! But love is so much more than that fluttery feeling in your stomach. Love goes much deeper… Love is a choice.
Cute title Sophia!
I can so relate to the story about your dad. Mine was the exact same way! He used to threaten us, smack us, we FEARED him, but age has mellowed him out and it is hard to believe he is the same man. I love him to death and the fact that we went from hating each other to loving each other like that? Definitely the greatest form of love.
I hope your studying is going well and your “C” is on it’s way up. The missotto looks delicious!
Oh baby roasted asparagus is soooo good and toasty!! I love the idea of taking miso soup and translating it to something else.
My dad has always been a mellow guy, but I never realized it until I don’t live with him anymore. He really was my emotional rock!!
I love that… food, shelter, water, and love. Yes, love is definitely a NEED. No matter what kind of form it comes in, every single creature on this earth that is capable of feeling needs to feel love and needs to love as well. It’s a part of our soul. If we did not love or feel loved, we would essentially be immortal.
My dad was the same way at times. He is the sweetest most kindhearted man on this earth, but I remember him having is moments of complete rage from time to time. He is such a passionate person that sometimes, this passion came out in his anger. I think this is where I get so much of my emotion. I notice that as he gets older, he has become so much more humble and passive. I think this comes with age, wisdom, and experience.
Great post Sophia. This is just what I needed tonight!
That dish looks really good. I even had some imitation crab tonight.
The return of the runny yolk! They are seriously the best there is.
My ideal romantic love would give me enough space to be myself–I think because I’m young, those initial relationships tend to be very clingy; but I’ve always wanted something where you can leave it for a while with the comfort of knowing it’s still good and healthy when you return.
Gross yet sweet love story: My high school boyfriend and I once took a trip that involved a ferry ride, and I got terribly seasick. I started to throw up, and he whipped off his favorite hat to help me clean up my face afterwards. Ok this is NASTY but it was very sweet, too, because he was thinking only about me.
Ungross love story: One of my favorite things about my dad is that he goes out, every single cold morning without fail, to warm up my mom’s car for her so it’s toasty when she climbs in. He even does this on days he is not working, or when she has to leave earlier than him, crawling out of bed specifically for that purpose.
Another ungross love story (might take a few to make up for the barfy one): Like the previous story, I think little day-to-day habits are sometimes even sweeter than big events. I like that my bf texts me good morning every day.
Another, different love story: After I told my family about my ED recovery tattoo, my youngest brother texted me one sentence: “I’m proud of you”, that totally reduced me to tears.
Another, bestest love story: my grandparents have been married for 55 years, and they still haven’t tired of being devoted to each other.
For me, it’s the ones I turn to for support when my “heart gets broken” whom I truly love the most. I’m lucky enough to have that love come from my parents. Having them by my side, unconditionally, is the greatest blessing I can ever imagine.
That looks really good! I love miso. White miso is yummy mixed with peanut butter…barley miso is delicious mashed with avocado…and of course in soup!
Thank you for sharing this story with us. I totally agree with you. God works wonders!
I love this post. For most people change is so hard…the only people I know who have changed like that (namely, my dad!) have only been able to do so with God’s help.
As for love…honestly Sophia, I know it’s cliche, but it’s true. It will find you when you’re not looking for it. (Promise.)
Love the name of this dish…and it looks incredible!
Such a great post! I’m in love with love
To me, love is loving someone no matter what, whether they hurt you or that love changes. The great thing about it is that time can change the type of love, but it was truly there, I don’t think anything can ever erase it. I love my current boyfriend more than anything, and I want to spend the rest of my life with him, but I definitely still love my first love in a completely different way. I love what we had, what he taught me, and the person that he is, without being in love with him. I’m the biggest believer in love’s power, and while people call me naive, I don’t know what else there is to live for besides it!
i don’t think anyone can top the love a mother has for her child. i think i’ve received the most love from my mother than anyone else. she stuck by me even when i was going through my teenage angst and would always yell at her. it makes me cry how much crap i used to give her because i realize now how much she really loved/loves me.
I don’t really show affection in touchy feely ways. I’ve always been more of a small gesture kind of person. I show love by my actions I guess. I do like to get hugs and things, don’t get me wrong, but most of the time I don’t initiate it.
Oh wow, what a creative and delicious sounding dish!! Love the name too!!
Your dad sounds a lot like my grandfather. He used to have a crazy temper, but now he too is so gentle and kind. You’d NEVER know he used to act like he did.
Wow! I actually have a similar story, where my mom once threw down a plate of food she was bringing to the table when she was mad at my brother many years ago. Both my mom and my brother have changed since then, but just as importantly, so have I. (And so have you!)
my husband has shown me just how selfless love can be. and my doggie too! it’s amazing how much you can love others.
My best and longest relationship is with my mama. She is my best friend and my greatest cheerleader. She has told me all the time “you can never underestimate the love a mother has for her daughter”. I hope I’ll find out one day!
That asparagus looks amazing! I love grilled asparagus. I could eat so much of it, but I hate the erm…after affects! Haha.
Such a great story about your dad!!
<3 jess
xoxo
Food Porn at it’s very best!
Such a sweet post Sophia. I’ve never been in love either and totally feel ya on the first paragraph there my dear. And the story about your dad is really beautiful…as is your misotto!
The biggest kind of love I’ve experienced thus far in my life has been my mother’s love for me, and I know that I want to be a mother and to love my child so deeply too. In terms of romantic love, I’m only just beginning to learn that I have the potential to be loved in that way — for a long time I told myself I didn’t deserve it. So I’m just beginning to learn how to flirt, date, etc. So far so good!
Happy Tuesday!
I am continually amazed at how blessed I am to have a family that loves me unconditionally!
Great story. Ah, crushes. I still have them. I always fall for the guy who I later find out is taken. Darn! hehehe… I need to try poaching me some eggs again. The last time I tried it turned into a disaster.
The greatest form of love to me is when someone is there for you unconditionally in your darkest hours. You don’t even have to ask them for comfort; they just automatically give it in spades and expect nothing in return. That’s love, compassion and humanity — all rolled into one.
When you come to NoVa in the summer, we’ll have to have a special get together to talk on this topic
Your misotto looks excellent, such a creative dish!
whoa, intense story about your dad, totally doesn’t mesh with the idea i had of him from other stories! but it’s a telling tale, important stuff to learn in life! yum i love the flavas in your dish!
Asparagus. Love it. I was all over the cheap ‘gus last week. Loving it. Stinky pee and all. Sorry tmi
Greatest form of love is truly that of a parent for their child. I really didnt realize it til I was on this side of it, but yes, it’s true. As much as i love Scott, I love Skylar more. And he feels the same about her/me. It just is biological, nature taking care of itself at it’s finest. So as much as you love your dad, he actually loves you 1000000x/more. One day I hope you get to experience the parental love for a child; i never thought i could be a parent, i felt I wasnt parent-material, but it’s the best thing ever.
GREAT QUESTION!!!
haha I get it! Misotto! You should copyright your ideas Sophia! They’re brilliant!
Love the dish and the story. Your dad is a very, very special man…
xxx Julia (Taste of Living)
love is giving. Love is forGIVEness.
You are an amazingly talented writer.
So interesting! It is amazing how people can change for the better (or in other cases- the worst). Love does come in so so many forms. I’ve never purchased miso paste. I really want to try using it- this recipe looks fabulous.
Yes- you can totally replace the flax/water with 1 egg in my recipe
That looks amazing and thanks for sharing the recipe love!!!
I agree with you 100 percent, love is the most powerful thing in the world!! I always believed that!!!!
Love u!! xo
What a brave and beautiful post. I’m sure this was not easy to write. It took me two years of working with my therapist to admit to her that my dad once hit my mom. Once, but it was awful. But I believe that just as God has transformed your dad, he can do the same with mine, or anyone. God’s love is the most amazing love story I know, as trite and cheesy as that may sound. I don’t care, ’cause it’s true!!
Thanks for sharing, girl, and for not giving up on your dad.
You are an incredibly talented writer. My take on love is kinda blah in the “in love” aspect. I do believe in the importance of children growing up to be loved in a nurturing sense. I took that love for granted growing up but it has shaped my soul.
Well said Sophia, the best love is the love you showed to others. Don’t ask too much and give what you can
I am sure you will find the one really cherish and love you sweetie!!
and….great presentation of the dish!! I love it!!! did u eat too much outside lately??? you definitely learned a lot of their styles!! haha
Thanks for sharing that story Sophia! Love is amazing indeed. When I was at my worst my dad told me that my parents would always love me for the way I am and I had to cry like there was no tomorrow. I am blessed to have so many people in my life who support me, no matter what.
LOVE the look of your dish (but seriously.. whatever you touch turns into gold anyway!)
Misotto must be the cutest word on earth!
Over here the asparagus season is in June. How lame!
Misotto…lol. Love it! And your asparagus pictures are phenomenal!
Sophia, your story of your father is incredible… Thank you so much for sharing your powerful story. I completely agree – being able to grow through God’s love and share that love with others is the ultimate goal…
Speaking of love…
I LOVE roasted asparagus!! 
I’m also soooo excited about your super-healthy version of risotto with wheat berries and lentils!!
Just simply another great post. Great story! And the continuing recipe aint so bad either in fact it looks downright delicious! You are an inspiration.
The top five things I love in life: God, family, boyfriend, food, and traveling.
I love me some roast asparagus! Too bad my boyfriend doesn’t like it!
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