We Koreans are very strict when it comes to age. The young must show respect to the elder, even if it’s only a couple years of difference. You never, ever call someone older by the name. You talk to them in formal language, and address them according to a certain system of mannerism depending on their age. If the person is a lot older, you call her “ah-joom-mah” or “ah-juh-see”. It gets more complicated when the person is only a few years older than you.
If you’re a female, you call the older girl “unni” and the older boy “oppa”. If you’re a male, you call the older girl “noo-na” and older boy “hyung.”
Confused? That’s okay. My brother was, too, for many many years. To the utter delight and amusement of my relatives, my brother spent about 18 years of his life calling me “unni” instead of “noo-na”. I can still remember him when he was 8-years-old, with a cute little pot belly, chipped tooth, and a bowl hair-cut, yelling across the street, “Unni, unni!” while the relatives roared with laughter. Ah, sweet memories. 
It scares me, how time flies by. How much a person can change. Before I knew it, my brother has grown into a real man. And honestly, sometimes I don’t know what to do about it. Gone are the times when I could kick him around, bullying him to bend to my whims and wishes. Gone are the times when we would play Power Ranger, or torture Barbie dolls together. When that childhood phase passed, our relationship distanced as we developed our own group of friends. And I’m embarrassed to say that I begin to scorn and look down upon him.
As is expected between siblings, we were always being compared. The thing is, we are completely different from each other. I was the more dedicated, passionate, and ambitious one. In comparison, my brother came off as a lazy slacker. And thus I gave him a lot of pressure, nagging at him and getting impatient and frustrated that he wasn’t following my path. In my own twisted way of thinking, I thought I was just being a protective older sister…whose only method of expressing love was to scold and oppress.
But things turned around when I got entrapped in my eating disorder. Suddenly, my brother became the golden child of the family. And suddenly, he was the one taking care of me. And within the three to four years of our family’s struggle with my ED…my brother has changed completely. He’s matured. He’s become independent. He’s become more thirsty for God. And despite still being a man of few words, he’s become a deep thinker. He’s even stopped calling me “unni”. And I only just realized the change recently. Because in my mind, I still thought of him as a little chubby boy calling me “unni”. 
I wish time would stop still. I wish we weren’t so apart from each other, so I could show more of my appreciation for him. I’m scared, because he’s growing so fast, and I know soon he’ll get married, have his own family, and then…what? Will we still be in contact? Will we be living close to each other? I don’t know, but I’m certainly praying to God that our relationship will only get deeper as time passes.
Just before I left the east coast, my brother offered to treat me to lunch. He even went out on a morning walk with me in negative wind chill weather. Once again, our relationship was switched. According to Korean custom, I should be treating my brother and taking him out for a walk as the older sibling. But oh well. At times like this, I’m super glad we’re Americanized enough. Though, I wouldn’t mind if my brother spoke formal language to me. 
It was the three of us: Me, my brother, and my friend Joanna to a Vietnamese restaurant called Four Sisters: 
It may be Vietnamese, but it sure was westernized in its interior design. 
Check out the beautiful merry-go-round! 
And I supposed these are the four sisters that gave the restaurant its name? 
We had only one condition when we ordered: Order something other than pho. Pho is nice, but Vietnamese cuisine has so much more than that ubiquitous pho!
Joanna ended up ordering the Mi Do Bien: 
Egg noodles with seafood combination (scallop, shrimp, squid) in chicken broth 
This was the most refreshing, delicious broth I’ve ever tasted. I could drink a gallon of this soup! Unfortunately, the seafood was a bit tough.
My brother ordered the Com Bo Nuong Xa: 
Grilled lemongrass beef on jasmine rice. 
Lovely! I loved the seasoning on the beef, and the rice was perfectly sticky and chewy, not bland at all. 
I ordered the Banh Cuon Ga Nuong: 
Grilled lemongrass chicken served with steamed rice crepes stuffed with mushrooms and ground pork.
It came with a side of steamed bean sprouts, jalapeño, and lime. 
And fish sauce: 
I loved it! The chicken was sticky, flavorful, and perfectly grilled till tender. The chopped peanuts and mint on top made a lovely contrast to the meat. 
And the steamed rice crepes reminded me a lot of a certain dish I used to love in Singapore called chee cheong fun. 
It was filled with flavorful pork and mushrooms, but the crepe itself was kind of bland, so I remedied that with tons of sriracha sauce. It’s not your average crispy light crepe, but rather dense, sticky, and glutinous. 
Since it was our last day together, we all took a picture. Joanna and I: 
My brother and I: 
Gosh, I miss them both already. 
Question of the day: Do you live with your siblings? How has your relationship changed as you grew older?
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That is very confusing, and there is some odd stuff like that with the Portuguese language. Who thought that would help people learn, I think it makes everyone darn confused. Looks like yummy eats at that restaurant. As usual you didn’t have anything that didn’t look good.
Dude, that portrait of the 4 sisters is kinda creepy. I mean I’m sure it’s important and it’s relevant to the restaurant but its’ just…creepy lol.
I guess technically (because you’re 1 year older than I am) I should be calling you noona
what yummy food. and i love the pics of you with family. my sis and i HATED each other when we were younger, but now there’s no one i’d rather spend time with.
What a funny and adorable story about your brother calling you unni! Your description of your brother when he was young reminded me of my brother when he was little — pot belly, bowl-cut hair. And my mom loved to dress him up in little lumberjack shirts with suspenders! Lol, it was so cute!
I think your brother is such a cutie! and can I just say that I love seeing your pictures! with every picture you post, it is a testiment of how far you have come.
that beef looks so good!
My sister in law is Korean and my three your old niece speaks Korean. She calls me Como (sorry bad proununciation) — and I love it!
I think I’ve learned the unni/noo-na/oppa/hyung distinction from watching a K-drama, haha. Bowl haircuts are so ubiquitously Asian! I had one when I was little, too.
My sister is many years younger than me, but I hope that we’ll be close when we’re older. That’s one of my goals this year—to be a better sister. 
I’ve heard good things about that restaurant! I love rice crepes
Everything sounds so delicious—I love how the peanuts and mint balance out the savoriness of the chicken.
Have a great evening, love!
Your brother is good looking!!!
Korean food always looks so good – I really need to try more of it. Two of my best friends that lived in South Korea for a couple years teaching English, and they make me want to go there so bad with their wonderful stories about the food and the people.
This is such a sweet post! I have two younger brothers, and because they are still young, our relationship has not changed much. But as I’ve grown older, I have definitely noticed how my relationship with my parents has changed. I just love my family so much! And I can tell that you do too
Love the photos!!
<3 jess
xoxo
All that food looks SO good. I want to try everything! It’s funny that you posted about your brother because I was just thinking the same thing about my sister. In my mind she is still 4 years old (she’s 21). I am having the hardest time accepting that she is growing up. I miss our carefree childhood together.
Aww, this was a sweet post. It’s so hard to imagine your younger siblings as being grown-ups, but then one day it just hits you!
I love hearing the cultural background to this -thanks for sharing!
What a beautiful and thoughtful post. Thank you for sharing your story with us!
Thanks for sharing all of that… I like learning about different cultures.
The food looks really good.. you are right though when I think Vietnamese I think PHO
I love that you have pictures with you in them now. You are so beautiful! I suppose I must put some pictures of myself on my blog as well…
Thank you for the rich cultural lesson in this post! All those terms certainly sound confusing. I really identify with what you said… I was overseas for 4 years. When I came back, it was as though my sister had suddenly grown up. With my eating disorder, our roles suddenly became reversed and I couldn’t handle that at first. But I’m glad to say that we’re working towards better understanding with each other now. I realize that relationships are as such. There’s always a give and take. I don’t always have to be the so-called “leader”. My sister is maturing too, just as I am. I’m learning to just enjoy the flow of life and enjoy each moment as it is. I know that I’ve said this before, but I’ll just say it again. U’re such a special girl too, Sophia!
That ika looks amazing… I could eat squid forever.. seriously.. I like it cooked, I like it raw… (I’m in Japan so I don’t think I could deny raw squid or dried squid or sanbei squid)…
You are looking fab and Happy.. most importantly happy!!!!!
Boy, do those rice crepes look tasty indeed!
Hmmm, your speaking of the Korean nickname and cultural references brings back flooding old memories of my own childhood moniker, as coined by wonderful family and friends – “sheau pang mei”. The name literally translated, I believe, means : little fat little sister. Classy.
My brother and I are best friends. We used to fight like dog and cat (actually), but that stopped pretty early on. We became stay-at-home buddies when Mom and Dad had to work long shifts and couldn’t afford to put us in day care (ssshh!) – so we taught each other how to steam hot dogs and cook KD (a la microwave, of course). Good times. Today we live together, go to school together, and encourage one another to pursue the Lord together.
It is sometimes hard to think of our younger siblings as grownups – talk about scary, I still can’t believe that my little brother has an almost 2 year old son!
Your meal looks excellent! Aren’t you glad you’re not in DC this weekend – it’s so cold. I’m out of here tomorrow morning too – Vegas!
Awww Sophia! You are the best! Your post about your brother was so sweet and endearing. But you know what? Siblings are supposed to take care of each other – regardless of who is older or who is younger. That’s the beauty of having a sibling. I love that you are incorporating more pics of you in your blog. It makes me happy! I’ve missed you! I hope you are enjoying the new year. BTW, that foods looks incredible! I’ll take them ALL, please
What a beautiful, heartfelt story! Thanks so much for sharing.
My brother is 13 months older than me & no, we don’t live together anymore. Through a varied series of events, we haven’t lived together since I was 17 & he was 18. We get along quite well and live 30 minutes apart. B & I go out to dinner with my brother & his girlfriend often too.
I have one older sister, and we always mostly got along growing up, but now we are SO MUCH CLOSER than ever before, and it wonderful! Although unfortunately she lives 500 miles away and got married 2 years ago, so I don’t see her as much as I would like.
P.S. I love your new blog layout!
Sophia, your photos are getting better and better. I have 2 brothers, I love them both dearly for different reasons. When my mom passed away recently, we became even closer. Even though we all have our own families now, we will always share a very strong bond. Its obvious how much your brother loves and respects you.
I think it’s just fantastic that you have such a close relationship with your siblings! I sure wish I did too. I’m grateful that my sister an I are on good terms, but we really just do our own thing… More like housemates than friends.
What a wonderful and heartwarming story. Thanks for sharing this with all of your foodie friends.
haha, my relationship with my older brother is very similar to yours! we’re only 11 months apart, so we grew up having barbie doll vs soldiers battles. then in secondary school, we grew apart as we formed our individual friendships with others. thankfully, when i came to london to study, we started to grow close again. i’m very very thankful for that too! (:
This is such a lovely post Sophia! I loved reading about you and your brother. I have a younger brother as well (2 years younger) and he is one of my best friends. He has stood by me through everything, never judges me, and is always there when I need him. I absolutely adore the kid and know that I would not be happy living far away from him.
I love all the pictures of you lately! You and your brother look a lot alike actually.
The vietnamese food looks awesome. I don’t think I’ve ever tried anything other than Pho. I need to be more adventurous in that department.
I feel as though you described my brother and I there for a second, that’s exactly how I feel and now we are apart and its hard:(
My dad makes fish sauce from scatch all the time, I could drink it, it’s that good!
What a cute picture of you and your brother! And his order of lemongrass beef looks delicious!
I have 3 sisters and a brother. Now that I’m married, we live apart but I try to see them all of the time. My brother is actually 17 years younger than me. (he’s 8!) So I make an extra effort to see him.
Wow. Everything about the Korean language is So interesting! Thanks for sharing! And as I went away to college, me and my brother actually became closer, (probably because we aren’t always fighting) but I hope that your relationship with your brother gets stronger! He’s the person that’s genetically closest to you, and I’ve found that the similarities of a brother and sister are stronger than most people think. Anyways, all that Vietnamese food looks GREAT! Your grilled Chicken with Crepes- yumm! I only wish i could cook like that!
That was lovely Sophia, and there is no reason you and your brother cant stay close. Yes you are getting older and things change but that doesnt mean that he will drift away from you and forget you, you just have to make more of an effort to make the time to go out together and do things.
Ive found as Ive gotten older my relationship has improved with my sisters, altho my ed did for a while get in the way but overall its improved.
Your chciken dish looked delicious, the crepes look a little odd, Im always amazed at the lovely dishes you try.
xox
aww you can tell by this post that you really care about your brother!! such a sweet post to him.
awesome eats!
I am an only child, so I can’t ever really understand the amazing bond that some siblings have. But you and your brother have gone through something that will be with you both forever, I don’t think there is a chance of you two not having a great relationship in the future.
Your eats look great, and it sounds like you had an awesome time!
It’s funny to hear you say how much time flies and how you wish you could slow it down. It’s funny because I thought only we OLD folks said that. Hah. You are too young to be feeling the passing of the years so quickly. But then again, maybe it’s part and parcel of the society we live in now. We’re so connected 24-7 that I think a lot of times our attention is on all the little things in our lives. We forget to take the time to step back to look at the bigger picture. And when we finally, do, boy, are we surprised at the big changes that have occurred. Here’s to all of us looking at life more with not only through a close-up lens, but a wide-angle one, too.
i have a big brother, and our relationship has definitely improved from the days when we used to live under the same roof (he used to torture me)
aawww awesome pics. You,Joanna and your brother all look fabulous. My sister is married and living across the country but Im still super close to her and we talk all the time. Its even more fun now cause we are less like sisters but more like really close friends. I love our relationship. Im sure you and your brother will remain close no matter what=) Take care!
What a great story and tribute to your brother. Loved it! I also remember and really enjoyed 4 Sisters when I lived in Arlington – it was at the old location then and this place looks much fancier!
I understand ‘unni’ all too well. We Nigerians have the same thing, even when the elder is only so by hours, it is exercised to the limit! I don’t live close to my siblings but we’re still close…somehow. Most of us see each other often and speak even more so!
What a fantastic blog. Your photographs are so real, I could eat from the screen.
This is such a pretty post! Love the relationship you have with your little bro. I have an older brother.. and we’re quite close, and its funny he’s moved home recently in my last weeks at home, but he also has a girlfriend now, so its just a tad bit different, but I still love him the same.
OMG, love these Vietnamese restaurant eats!
if you drink too much beer and you sit to much on a couch, you’ll develop the dreaded Pot Belly’;,
pot belly is sometimes very annoying, it make you looks quite fan-’;
Beautiful story. I’m the eldest and have a younger sister and much younger brother. I live in Sydney, while my sister and brother live in Perth and Kuala Lumpur respectively with their families. We might only see each other once a year or during family reunions and I guess distance sometimes makes it more difficult to develop a closer relationship although social media and technology has made communication so much easier. Our world is a lot smaller when we can send pics, exchange banter and chat in an instant.
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