I can’t believe the year is almost over. 2010 is fast approaching! 2010! Doesn’t that just sound so…foreign and awkward to you? Like a distant future in a science fiction film…Whenever I say the word “2010” out loud, I can’t help imagining spaceships and little flying scooters jetting around.
A whole year has passed, and boy…has it been a whirlwind of a year! So many things have happened, and I’ve undergone so many personal changes in myself. Once again, I’m astounded by how effective and powerful God’s work is in my life. I’ve been meditating on the process of all the happenings within my life in this year of 2009, and I’ve got goose bumps. 2009 has been an incredible year. And I can’t wait for 2010!
I know that the year 2010 is really just a number. January 1, 2010 is just another day in the whole spectrum of time, but it bears great significance because we humans have designated it as a start of a new year, a new beginning. And I think that’s a good thing. I personally definitely need a set date to remind me to reflect back on the past year, and look forward to a new year with a refreshed mind and perspective. In order to organize my thoughts, I’ve decided to arrange them into three categories:
1) Thanksgiving: What am I thankful for this year 2009? Have I changed? In what way?
2) Dreams and goals: What are my expectations for the upcoming year 2010? What kind of person do I envision myself to me by the end of that year?
3) Prayer Topics, Renewals: What are the specific prayer topics I have for the year 2010? What are the specific things I will change and renew about myself?
And yeah, I’ll be using this blog to publish my thoughts into concrete words. Hopefully, the pressure that some hundreds of people are reading this will help keep me in track. 
So in the next three posts, I’ll be writing on each category in detail. But I really encourage you guys to join me in this New Year’s Self-Reflection. It’d be nice to have a buddy. So who’s with me? 
By the way, I’ve been having a really great time here. I guess the saying, “There is no place like Home” is kinda true. Of course, there are annoying parts where my parents nag at me to sleep early, or to dress properly, or to eat this and that. Of course, I’ve also had several people ask me questions like “So how much do you weigh now?” and “Did you gain at least 18 lbs?”…But I feel incredibly relaxed, comfortable, and…just…home.
The day before, I walked around my old high school’s campus…
And strangely, I got none of those bad memories I used to have. Sure, the memories I had in high school are mostly tainted by my eating disorder: the day my counselor called my parents and made me stand on the scale, the day my friends divided into two camps: Camp “Sophia is Anorexic” and Camp “Sophia is just Stressed Out”, the day I missed school and didn’t come back for 3 months… 
But now…I feel peaceful. All those “bad” memories? They’re really not so horrible when viewed in the whole of things. They were just necessary episodes in my life to keep the story going. And the story has not ended yet. My story is still progressing, and until the end, I can’t clearly define any part of it as “bad”.
Besides, there have definitely been good times mixed in my high school past, too. In fact, I’ve been missing a few certain places like crazy for ages now. These places are really not “that great”, but they are just some of my favorite places ever because I have such fond memories of them! I was one of those students who could never sit still at home and study. I had to move around, and I could only study if I was amidst people bustling about, and preferably with unlimited amounts of drinks.
My favorite places? McDonald’s (free refills!), Starbucks (nice, cushy sofas), and Panera (again, free refills and wireless!). There are plenty of McDonald’s and Starbucks in Los Angeles, so obviously the place I wanted to visit most when I arrived in Virginia was Panera. Thankfully, my parents love Panera too, so they happily came along, together with me, my brother, and my cousin. 
I ordered my favorite combo: 
Turkey-Artichoke Panini, French Onion soup, whole grain baguette. 
This panini can easily be re-created at home, but it’s just not the same to eat it in Panera! 
Is it just me, or did the sandwich get smaller? This panini was definitely smaller than it was a year ago!
Well, at least I found comfort in the intense, beefy and oniony broth of the classic French Onion soup… 
Another thing I really missed: good crusty bread. Mmm… 
My parents, my brother and I all got pretty much the same thing, but Clara just got a bagel with cream cheese. She refused to eat a turkey sandwich because “turkeys are cute”. Eh? Clearly she has never seen a real turkey before.
Tomorrow is Clara’s 20th birthday, so we’ll be celebrating it the way we always celebrate birthdays: a walk, maybe lunch out, and no gifts. Poor Clara. She chose a bad place to celebrate her birthday! But she requested a banana cream pie, so I guess I’ll be doing some baking tomorrow as well!
Question of the day: Will you be doing some self-reflections for this upcoming New Years? When you think back to this 2009 year, what kind of emotions do you feel?
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Great blog. Took me forever to figure out my glitches!
I love this time of year for reflection. A nice reminded to sit back and think about what you’ve done, where you’ve been and where you’re going. You sure have had a big year. Everything that you’ve gone through. All your hard work. I think 2010 is going to be a good year.
I’m honestly ready for 2009 to be over – it wasn’t the best year for us, so I’m excited for 2010 and the future! And I agree, I think the sandwiches have gotten smaller at Panera too!
I will definitely be doing some reflections for 2009, and those questions are a great place to start! There have been sooo many amazing changes in my life. Many revelations and new experiences were made this year. Probably the most important year of my life! To be continued…
Whenever I’m at Panera, they’re out of that whole grain baguette. I still have not tried it yet!
It looks like you’re having a great trip!
I’m so glad you’re finding peace with your past. I’m finally finding peace with where I’m at career wise. I’m where I’m supposed to be for now, and there’s a reason. I’m not sure what it is yet, and that’s ok!
Happy Birthday to Clara!
I know ill be looking back on 2009. This time last year i was so different. I wasnt vegan, i wasnt eating much of anything and I was so unhappy. My how things have changed!
Oh I love Panera bread. please try that gingerbread latte
my favorite favorite favorite drink….
the new website looks cool too, nice color!
can’t believe it’s already end of 2009. the time just flies by. So many things happened , and I am glad I get over those dark days and back to the joyful kid !
Love your new site, it’s very pretty.
Time do flies, somehow it flies very quickly as you getting older, lol!
Love your blog and especially this post. I couldn’t agree more about home and as much as I love it, I, too, feel like home brings out some weight “baggage” that I can seemingly push aside when I’m in my element at my personal home. Whether for the good or the bad, I guess.
Oh, and I totally agree about Panera! They’ve gotten spendy and meager in portions! Double boo!
i love your reflections sophia, and cannot wait to hear more. its definitely been a crazy year that has gone by way too fast! i hope to just slow down, soak it all in, think of all the good that has happened in the past year and roll right on in to 2010!
love ya girl
2010 seems kind of futuristic to me too! My son will be going to high school next fall and he’ll be the class of 2014! That’s insane!
I think its terrible that people asked you how much weight you gained. They should be able to tell by looking at you that you are way healthier than you used to be.
I wish you nothing but happiness and joy in the coming year!
And thank you so much for the beautiful card!!
It has been quite a while since high school, and I must admit that I think it would still be really weird to go by there.
Excited for the new year though! And those panera eats look delicious.
I loved 2009 as it was such a rollercoaster for me. It was mostly jubilation but with some moments of disappointment in others. I’m really looking forward to 2010!
Oh and don’t you wish you could have measured sandwiches from a few yers back to compare them. I swear McDonalds burgers have gotten smaller even though they deny it!
Oh that pannini looks so good! Panera is always one of my favorite go-to places!
So glad that you’re now at peace with your past. Sometimes, I feel that I’m still in the process of sifting thru all those emotions about my past, but I’m definitely more at peace with it now than before, so that’s something to give thanks for.
This year has been a year of many ups and downs, but I think I can look back and say that I’ve grown. =)
COngrats on your own domain! This year has been my worst….and best and I’m thankful to God for both extremes. I’m excited about 2010,if only in my mind! The new beginning and year holds so much promise and I’ll be writing my resolutions soon. Stay blessed
Are you sitting down?? I think that is the same high school MY DAD went to! Both my parents are from Virginia, but came to the Chicago area in the early 60′s. Small world!!!!!!
I’ve been to Panera a million times but never seen that panini. I must go, now….
I love the you pick 2 combo!!!
It definitely IS strange to go back to old places and be filled with memories… Interesting reflection!
Congrats on the great new look for your blog! Definitely joining you in self-reflection
May 2010 be a year for you of much more burping and slurping! 
Do you believe I’ve never been to Panera? I need to go soon!
I think that for the most part, 2009 was a good year for me. Primarily because I got engaged but also because I really started to feel more comfortable being myself.
I love Panera. I’ve been trying to get some co-workers to go all week and they won’t! I really like the soup in a bread bowl.
Hello Sophia,
Happy New year and wishing you all the best for the coming year.
Will you be doing some self-reflections for this upcoming New Years? When you think back to this 2009 year, what kind of emotions do you feel?
Yes some reflections r definitely in order, tho not necessary jz cos its new year.
1.I m very sure I can control my temper better,in fact I’ve RESOLVED that I will control my temper & not get worked-up & snappy each time things went wrong.
2. I will also try to forget the past year – whc has been horrid & move on, takin it as painful lessons, but nevertheless perhaps frm it I would be spared of even worse ordeals if I hv not experienced it sooner?
3. And to bake a loaf of bread each week – MIN! no more delays on self taught baking. else at this rate I will nvr reach my goal.
4. And to be happy (sounds so simple but isn’t all tht easy..) simply cos us humans are nvr satisfied with wht we have, & attachments made us long for more, of whc if not immediately attainable make us feel deprived & irritable, it is a vicious cycle isnt it?
Myself, alws thinkin of $, workin for $, hw $ can make me fulfill my dreams.. I hope this year, I have the chance to recover some of my loses back in 2008; (slowly but steadily I hope ), when I greedily went ahead & invested my life savings in a get-rich quick scheme.
When i look back, frm the half of 2008 til 2009, (jul08 to aug09), its been horrid, yes..I feel PISSED & ANGRY & SUICIDAL even, but since Oct 08 whn i started bloggin out of desperation & loneliness, I have found a completely new world. And I m GRATEFUL for that.
Lookin back, I felt wiser, stronger even, tired too, and drained BUT its never a time to give up so hey, lets welcome 2010 & roar with the tiger!!
Ruben Ramu
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