I feel…like I’ve had a big weight lifted off my chest. I feel so light and relieved inside, I’m almost convinced that if I were to jump, I would leap 800 feet into the air!
Remember the little bullahoo over the friend whom I thought betrayed me? Well, I met up with her for lunch today, and it’s all over. No, not our friendship, but the misunderstanding and anger I’ve held against her. We had a good, casual talk, and I got to hear her point of the story…and boy, do I feel so much better!
No, I still don’t entirely understand why she had to lie to me, nor do I understand why she had to do what she did. But you know what? It doesn’t matter anymore. I’m just so relieved that we got a chance to bring everything to the table, face-to-face. We had an honest discussion, in which I expressed all my hurts and anger, and she responded by answering them honestly and sincerely.
And now…I’ve realized that I had overreacted. I had jumped into conclusions, and more misunderstandings arose because of that. I’ve also had a chance to think back more rationally about the past long friendship we had…all the ups and downs we’d endured together, and I’ve realized that there is no freaking way I want to lose our friendship just because of a petty grievance. In the light of our entire friendship, I would be a fool to let such a trivial matter break us up.
Honestly, my anger and confusion towards her have been crushing and stifling me these past few weeks. How ironical that I named the title of that angry post about her “Poisoned.” In truth, it was my own self-righteous anger and pride that was poisoning me. And even if I don’t completely understand…I’ve decided that I really need to let loose of this anger, because it is nothing but poison—not only for our old friendship, but to my own soul, my own peace of mind.
Thus I’ve let it go. And I feel…so freaking FREE! 
I wonder if the contentment from good food helped. It sure didn’t hurt that we chose a restaurant that was favorable to both the wallet and the taste bud!
We (my friend, my brother and I) went to a local Thai restaurant called Born: 
It is a small place next to an Americanized Chinese restaurant and a shady market, but the interior was pleasantly modern and clean.
I loved how each table was adorned with a single real rose: 
The prices were amazingly cheap, too! 
$4.99 for a lunch entree! That’s even better than McDonald’s! We ordered a lot of dishes to share.
First up was Chicken satay: 
Skewers grill of spices marinated chicken served with cucumber relish & peanut-lemon-basil dipping
These chicken was definitely fresh-grilled, you could taste that smoky grilled char on the surface. The spices were lovely; not too strong, but with definite oomph. 
However, the peanut dressing was a little on the sweet side. I guess some people like that, but I’d rather have a spicier and more savory dressing. 
We also ordered a plate of Crispy Veggies Spring Roll: 
Fried spring rolls stuffed with taro, carrot, cabbage & bean thread served with sweet chili dipping 
Yum! I loved the toasted sesame seeds on top, and the spring rolls came freshly fried, so the exterior was delightfully crunchy! 
I was surprised how fresh the vegetables inside tasted, considering that they’ve been deep-fried.
For our entrees, I ordered the drunken noodles with chicken: 
Chicken sautéed with a spicy chili basil sauce, tomato onion & flat rice noodle 
I forgot to ask for “as spicy as possible”, but this turned out to be plenty spicy! AWESOME! I hate it when restaurants
Americanize dishes and the “spicy” dish turns out to be mellow, with just an extra sprinkle of black pepper.
Not sure I understand what these curly carrot garnish is for, but they were pretty! 
My friend ordered the same thing, but fried rice-style: 
Rice fried with spicy chili basil sauce, with shrimp 
My brother, upon my request, ordered the Crispy Noodle Cake with Seafood: 
Bangkok’s night market style of light yellow bean-garlic gravy & broccoli over crispy egg noodle tossed with white pepper 
Oh em gii! I loved this. The noodles are crispy like uncooked ramen noodles, but turn springy and soft from that flavorful gravy…And it was quite a flavorful and rich gravy! 
And again, what’s up with the carrot garnish? 
The portions were quite small. At least, they were for three hungry Asians, so we ordered another plate of drunken fried-rice… And we were surprised with this! 
A full dinner plate of drunken fried-rice! 
With mussels too! 
That was incredibly nice of the chef to prepare a whole dinner plate with the works for us! Maybe it was my camera? Either way, I’m definitely returning to this place! >.<
Unfortunately, we had to pay for tea: 
But it was good tea, and the server refilled it about 5 times, so I think we got our money’s worth. 
You know, I’ve come to realize that most of the time, I am my own inflictor. It was true with this certain relationship conflict, it was true for my dilemma on returning home, and it was certainly true for my own eating disorder that had ravaged me for 4 years.
There will always be problems in my life, and there will always be things that simply irritate or bother me…but it is up to me to ultimately face it with a positive mindset, and deal with it the healthy way. For me, that is to view things in the perspective of Christ, and to pray and ask God for detailed guidance, power and strength to overcome them. Otherwise, if I just keep it inside of me and let it fester, it will become a deadly poison, leeching off my inner peace and happiness.
Sigh. There are so many things I need to change, and as the new year commences, I’ve been reflecting on these more than usual. I’ll share them soon, but let me organize them in my head first. 
Question of the day: What kind of self-infliction do you usually bring upon yourself? How do you resolve that?
Related posts:
