A reader left a comment on my last post about letting go of everything eating disordered:
“Well, you still do drink diet coke, and you’re not even diabetic. Isn’t that still part of ED behav
oiior?”
Whoops. Busted! 
Yup, I still do drink diet soda, and I’ve never been secretive about that fact. Yeah, yeah, how could I, it’s so unhealthy, all that artificial sweeteners, blah blah blah.
First of all, let me make it clear that I have never said I’m totally recovered yet. Yes, I still have my vices. I still have things to work on. I still have instinctual thoughts and behaviors that are very much part of my eating disorder. I guess I didn’t make myself clear enough, but when I said to make a “complete turnover”, I realize that it is quite impossible to make that change all at once. I’m still in the progress of losing each smudge and traces of ED, but I have no doubt that one day, I will make it. I want to destroy every part of ED inside of me. Time will tell.
Taylor from Joy of Food wrote something with which I agreed:
“I think it can be hard to know for sure you’re recovered, until many many years later……So does that mean I’m not fully recovered? Who knows, all I know for sure is I’m happy, healthy and ED can get lost.
”
Tee hee hee! I love that mentality. In a way, recovery itself can be a major stress factor if we’re going to continue debating over whether this or that is truly ED or not, etc. We just have to keep in mind the ultimate goal: To be happy, to be healthy, and to tell ED to f**k off 
(I wish smileys had a middle-finger).
On that note, let me share my “excuse” for why I drink diet soda: I’ve always drunk diet coke, even way before my ED. Why? Because for some goddamn reason, I thought it was the “cool” thing to do.
Don’t laugh! When I first started drinking diet soda, I was 11, and it was a new thing in Singapore. I had no idea what “diet” or “light” meant. Calories meant nothing to me. In fact, I didn’t even know about calories until I moved to America. But a lot of the older women I admired drank diet soda. In the commercials, the sexy women drank diet soda. Thus, I thought diet soda must be the sexier version of regular soda. And I’ve been drinking diet soda ever since. Now, I’m just used to that taste of aspartame, and regular coke tastes weird to me.
Now that we’ve got that cleared up, let me share some frighteningly good news. I RECEIVED MY CABOT CHEESE! I won more than 4 lbs of cheese from Biz’s giveaway, and I had been impatiently waiting for it for more than a month! 
Oh, what a thing of beauty! Oh my Lord! Oh Lordie!
An assortment of cheddar and pepper jack cheeses: 
50% cheddar, 75% cheddar, and 50% pepper jack.
But the most exciting thing was this hunky baby: 
Extra sharp VINTAGE cheddar cheese…aged a minimum of 2 years!!! 
I can’t believe I received a whole brick of this amazing thing! I was ecstatic! I nibbled on it right away, and the taste was fan-freakin-tastic! 
I knew I had to come up with a recipe worthy of this lovely cheese. I turned to something else kind of vintage: 
Leftover carved turkey. Not from Thanksgiving (I already ate them all), but snitched from the dining hall (Shhhh…). Anyway, I hope this dish did the cheese justice:
Leftover Turkey Enchilada with Fruits and White Cheddar
Cook the garlic and red onion, then toss in the turkey dices, apple, and raisins. Pour in the almond milk and preserves, then spoon in some salsa, tasting as you go. Cook until the fruit is soft but not mushy. Then mix in the cottage cheese and with half of the cheddar cheese and chopped green onions. Spoon the filling into each tortilla and roll it up, making sure to leave some for topping. Assemble them into a baking dish. Top with leftover filling, and sprinkle with the rest of the cheddar cheese and green onions: The salsa I used was yet another sample from the Foodbuzz Festival: I’m sure you can substitute any other preserves or salsa you feel like, as long as it’s kind of fruity. For the cheese, I just used the good ol’ hand-grater to grate my precious vintage cheddar cheese: I still have some leftover turkey. I can’t wait to experiment more with it! Question of the day: What did you do with your leftover turkey? If you were me, what would you do with all that cheese?
Bake for about 20 minutes, or until the tortillas are crispy and the cheese on top is melted. Ta-da! 
This is the second time I’ve made “enchiladas”! Of course they’re not the traditional kind, but these are good, too! 
The pear, honey, and ginger preserves I used was from the swag bag from the Foodbuzz Festival, from a company called Quince & Apple: 
It was a tiny bottle. I was sad to see it all gone in one day. But it was freaking worth it! 
Big Orson’s Mango-Habarnaro Salsa. Hot. Sweet. I like! 
This dish was mildly sweet, but spicy and cheesy and tangy at the same time. It was perfect. Of course, I think everything I cook is perfect. 
But come on. This thing was perfection. 
Turkey tastes so much better with some kind of fruity sauce. And cheese, of course. 
I love how the tortilla gets all crunchy in the end: 
And the melted cheese all over: 
Fantastic. Perfectly filling, too. Please, if you’ve got any leftover turkey, make this dish. Your tummy will kiss you.
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Any news on your year of Nature’s Pride bread prize?!
Wow, that cheese looks incredible!!! So do your enchiladas…yum! I love how you added fruit for a sweet/sav combo!
With my turkey leftovers I made enchiladas too, but yours look better!
Oh my goodness, those enchiladas look amazing! Way to be super creative with your leftovers! And all of that cheese looks incredible- especially the aged cheddar.
Our turkey barely lasted until the weekend after Thanksgiving! I LOVE Cabot cheese. And your dish looks delicious. I’ve been meaning to get a bit of cheddar to make some homemade mac and cheese.
Not gonna lie. I have a serious case of cheese envy right now.
Mmm those enchiladas look so delicious!
And as for the diet soda thing- I totally agree! From 8th grade until Jan of my sophomore year I prob pounded 3 diet pepsis a day, it was what everyone did- just the social, low cal thing to do. But finally, I gave it up. Now its just coffee+water for this girl, but if you still love it, I say drink it!
Oh Sophia! Me wishes you would have taken a pic of yourself with all that cheese surrounding you! That would have been a hoot! I can’t even imagine all the glorious things you’ll be making with that cheese. Cheese really goes well with everything and anything. But, because I’m so classy, I would make a classic mac and cheese dish. Or, maybe a cheese stick or some sort? Hot, breaded, fried cheese! YUM!
Diet coke rules! Says the person who was formally addicted to it and drank like 7 cans a day, now I drink none, but still the diet tastes better than the full sugared one.
Cheese rules, I would be making pizzas and pesto and pasta topped with masses of cheese and grilled cheese sandwichs. Oh and eating it plain with a diet coke on the side, that used to be my favourite. Just a hunk of cheese.
Also, please move to london and become my personal chef. I don’t know how I’d pay you but I’d figure it out, seriously your food looks so amazing and you are so adventurous with it all, it looks so delicious.
holy crap the vintage white!!! AHH! i am a cheese fiend. that looks so good. your enchiladas are baller. i made turkey pumpkin enchiladas last night with my turkey! and i would just eat that cheese plain all day long…
Hey girl. Long time no talk! Ok, I’m sorry, but I think the comment from the reader about diet soda is just silly. Granted I haven’t read your initial post yet, but I do not think that because you drink diet soda it means you are not fully recovered yet. Drinking diet soda is a personal choice, and I don’t see why someone would tie that to having an eating disorder.
Hope you have been well. And yes, I love me some cheese!!
I love cheese but it doesn’t love me back
What an awesome box of goodies!! Your enchilada looks very yummy!
I drink diet soda, too. Not a lot, but I really like it despite the artificial ingredients. Oh well. It’s really not an awful vice in the scheme of things.
Your enchiladas look fab.
Sarah
dude, that’s too much cheese even for a mouse. you know, battles are never won in one day…as long as you know in your heart that you’re trying your best! be brave, be strong, and best wishes.
I ate some of that leftover turkey just plain!
Haha!!
I think you should make…NACHOS.
Look at all that delicious cheese!
Great discussion! I sometimes drink diet soda, but it tastes kinda weird to me! But sometimes I just crave it!!
<3 jess
xoxo
So I just want to say one thing about this diet soda business. Drinking diet soda is not a weird ED-spurred eating habit. Almost everyone I know drinks diet soda. I drank diet soda way before the ED and I will continue to drink it probably indefinitely. And I don’t think there is anything disordered about that.
Now. For the cheese. I’m not quite sure what I would do with all of it. Aside from eat it. Straight up. I might make some mac and cheese with it. Or many an omelet. Or make some stuffing for a kabocha. Many grilled cheeses. And enchiladas. And tacos. And Mexican food in general.
Your enchiladas are fantastic by the way! Love the fruity mix.
What would I do with all the cheese????? Eat it!!!!
Yes, I am extremely jealous!!! 
And I’m sure you’ll find about a hundred ways to torture me with your amazing “cheesy” pics over the next few weeks… 
Enjoy!
i’m with you on the diet coke. it’s not about the diet, i just really really like the taste. my husband thinks i’m crazy!
the cheese, ooooooh that cheese! how fun! i’m excited to see what else you do with it, this is a delicious start!
honestly- i dont know if i wil ever give up the diet coke either. it has always been a part of my lifestyle bc my mom drank it all the time & i dont necessarily think it is part of my disorder, i just like soda and i think the regular soda is too sugary/filling..thats just me!
xoxo
shelley
http://findinghappinessandhealth.wordpress.com
I prefer the taste of diet over regular – regular is just too sweet!
Yay for all that gorgeous cheese!! Your enchiladas are making my mouth water – yum!
I gave up soda several years ago. But once in a while I’ll treat myself to a Dr Pepper. That’s the only thing I will drink.
I didn’t have turkey this year. I went for some roasted duck. Which reminds me I still have some left over I need to eat up. hmmm…
I’d be making a lot of quesdillas with those cheese. Or grilled cheese sammies Yum yum!!!
I’d make fondue — because nobody can resist gooey, melted cheese. And a whole big pot of it? Decadent beyond belief.
Cabot cheese is the BEST! Love. It. (and very funny about wishing smiley faces had middle fingers…LOL!
)
So much cheese!! I love cheese on pizza or lasanga… mmmm
Wow, looks like u certainly did do the cheese justice! So yummy! Now you’ve got me craving for turkey. Oh dear. Hehe…
I always would drink diet soda because all the adults would..just like you said, I never even knew what a calorie was. I grew up drinking it in my fam (that’s all there was usually), and I think everything in moderation. I usually drink a can or two a day, and it hasn’t killed me yet! I think your diet soda trend isn’t a bad thing at all compared to all the things you’ve conquered so far!!
In reply to your last comment on my blog, no I don’t live in DC, I just have to drive through it and all the Gods awful traffic it contains to get to my Mom’s house in Baltimore.
In all honesty, I don’t want to make excuses, but I don’t see the diet soda thing as that bad. It seems to me that everyone I know, diabetic, diet or not, drinks diet soda. I just love the taste……for some odd reason, but only coke and pepsi…the rest can go to hell :p
I have faith in you and your recovery though. I know you’ll get there.
As for your awesome assortment of cheese! I found a Cheese Spinach Bake recipe for you http://www.cheeserecipes.net/cheese-spinach-bake.html , and apparently there are a good couple of sites devoted entirely to recipes with cheese as the main ingredient. Cheesyrecipes.com and Ilovecheese.com
This one’s for a quesadilla http://www.ilovecheese.com/recipe.asp?recipe=Cumin-Crusted+Chicken+and+Cheddar+Quesadillas+with+Basil+Sour+Cream
I would love to see your spin on the recipes as well. You always do such neat things. I love it. ^_^ <3
I don’t understand which is the problem of ED with diet soda…the theme doesn’t pass for this area! The reader have no idea what is talking about….Sophia send all these cheedar.. pleaseeeeee
Cheers!
Gera
Oh yum, I love cheese. All the dishes look delicious. I never cared for diet soda. I could just NEVER get used to it!
I am so jealous of allll that cheese!
BTW, you won my Nutridel giveaway–so e-mail me your address!
Regular coke makes me jittery- caffeine and sugar is a little much for me! (And I’ve never had an eating disorder- unless you count not having self control when it comes to eating cookies fresh out of the oven!)
Your enchiladas look amazing! I love the savory sweet combo of flavors
As for the rest of the cheese, maybe a fancy pizza or pasta (mac and cheese?) Quesadillas? I’d probably eat the block straight…with or without crackers…
I don’t think you need to feel bad about drinking diet pop at all! Sure, it might not be the healthiest thing, but like you said, we all have our vices. There is certainly a lot worse things you could be doing!!
- Beth @ http://www.DiningAndDishing.com
Now that looks fantastic, I’m so jealous of your cheese!!!! I like your moto because it may not be absolutely perfect, but your happy and that’s ALL that matters
We didn’t have leftovers since we flew to visit family, but I’m making a mini turkey dinner tonight because I just couldn’t resist!
Hm, now I’m starting to crave enchiladas all of a sudden…! And don’t worry, I could hardly call mine “traditional” too, what with the addition of tofu and all.
With my leftover tofu turkey, I’m pretty boring and usually make sandwiches like the rest of America, but sometimes I’ll throw it into a big pot of chili or soup, too.
That’s a glorious collection of cheeses! Congratulations! The turkey with white cheddar looks delicious.
Haha I rarely drink “full fat” (ie full sugar) drinks. Drinking juices are hard for me too! All those calories! And sadly there was no turkey for me but I really want to do thanksgiving next year!
I don’t have the patience/virtue to scroll thru 80+ comments, but how about just stop drinking soda, period? Hopefully someone else suggested that. Once in awhile, I go for a glass bottle of quality soda (original Coca Cola, Sparky’s root beer, etc.) but treat it like a fine glass of wine.
What’s the big deal anywho? The stuff stains your teeth, weakens enamel, etc.
Interesting, I am a diabetic and drink diet, have all my life, even before I was a diabetic, I think it tastes better! I would eat all that cheeese with crackers!
If I were you, I would make as many Sophia-esque meals as possible, aka super delicious and creative looking ones
and then share it with the blog of course! However, if it were me and I had your supply of cheese, I would just make omelets and grilled cheese sandwiches.
My grandma made turkey yookgaejang and mandu. She wanted most of the leftovers to see what she could come up with. We still have our half of the leftovers…my mom’s been using them for my dad’s lunches. I’ve been wanting to do something with it but why do professors give so much homework after break =P
Wow cheese galore! Yum! I like melting cheese over good quality crackers/flatbread in a toaster oven. Yumyumyum.
I think you have a good mentality on the ED and why you drink diet coke. Right now the focus is recovery, and if you’re happy with diet coke and if it isn’t related to your ED, then I’d say you’re doing alright, m’dear!
Your openness to talk about these issues is really admirable.
Oh my goodness that is a lot of cheese!!!
I too know diet pop is bad for me but I prefer the taste of it now. Regular pop is just too sweet.
I had no turkey *wails!!*
(but hey..love that u packed the food frm your food hall! Hhaha)
my my..all that cheese.. hhmm i would prob make lasagne & freeze them… cheese balls…cheese stick battered & fried..pizza…
I believe that was worth the wait!
Glad it finally got to you!
Mmmmm…..cheese!
Happy Friday Sophia!
I used to drink loads of diet soda in my recovery stage when I was close to but not quite recovered. And I was pretty obsessed about it – don’t give me real coke or I’ll die kind of mentality.
Real coke does it for me nowadays but I still drink diet coke once in a blue moon when I’ve had too heavy a meal or too much sugar (think yummers dessert) and my body is screaming hey sugar overload.
Difference is now I’m no longer obsessed. So hey diet soda consumption is not ED behaviour IMHO, not unless you are freaking obsessed about it
Love your blog lady!
Music, food, fitness – http://katiechangesforkatie.blogspot.com/
very cool weblog. Filled me with a more desirable comprehension the very current economic climate. Bless you buddy
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