It’s been four days. Four days of frowning, grumbling, moping, and sulking. Thank you all for sticking with me through my thunder-cloud days. I don’t even think I could have been so patient with myself.

God wasn’t as patient though. He kind of slapped me over the head and said, “Okay. That’s enough. Don’t you think you’ve had enough of this self-pity party? Time to get up and stop making a fool of yourself.”

I whined. He insisted, “Talk to me.” I resisted. And then, finally, I did. And He made me see the rainbow in all this bullahoo.

I think throughout the previous four days, my perception had been seriously clouded by a thunderstorm of my own impulsive, raw emotions. I was battered by my own hail-like emotions, but I lacked the wisdom to find shelter. Such emotions are inevitable and unavoidable, as is nature, but I did not have to stand out in the open to let myself drown in that stormy rain of negative emotions. I could have sought solace. I could have sought warmth and comfort.

I admit, I was being masochistic. There is something sickly satisfying and pleasing about self-victimization. It’s equivalent to getting wounded in a battle—you turn that scar into a self-glorifying trophy in order to forget about how much it actually hurt, and also to turn the situation around and not come out as the pathetic loser.

Thus, I purposely rejected human contact. I purposely avoided God. And now, tail between my legs, I have returned to His arms, wet and chilled to the bones by that storm, but with a lesson well-learned: When there’s a storm, rush inside your freaking house. And to me, my home abides in God.

Have I sorted out my emotions yet? Nope, it’s still raining outside. But they no longer hurt or pain me as much. And as time goes by, I’m sure it will abate even more. In the meantime, I need to seek warmth, fill myself with good, hot food, and view the storm outside with objectivity, wisdom, empathy, and understanding.

One thing that God has touched into my heart: every single soul I have met was placed into my life by Him.

Even a stranger whom I greeted in the metro, or the classmate I never talk to in History class…they were all put there for a reason by God. What more, then, my close friend of 10 whole years? Was it not God who arranged our meeting? And if it was God who arranged it…is it not a blessed relationship, no matter what rocky times there might be?

Thus I’ve made another conclusion: Our relationship is blessed. I might be bulleted with misunderstandings and hurt and anger right now, but ultimately, if I truly and sincerely believe that our meeting is blessed, and trust in God to lead the path, then I am sure to gain something positive from our relationship.

So what am I going to do specifically right now? I’m still not sure. But I am waiting. I am pretty sure she knows that I found out, so I will let her seek me with her explanation (because I am too proud to make the first move).

And I will listen, and I will try to understand. With God’s ability to grant me love and understanding, I believe we can fix something out. Even if we don’t, and even if she doesn’t try to explain, she and I once had a fun and pleasant relationship, and that itself is already a blessing.

So there you go. God’s little rainbow for me. For every storm, there has to be a rainbow, if you search hard enough. And guess what? I found one in my lunch bowl too!

Rainbow “Mix-it-up” Bowl

The base:

• one cup Trader Joe’s Freekeh (provided by Christina!)

The “mix-in”s:

• ground turkey
• 1/4 small onion
• 1/4 small bell pepper
• sliced radicchio (red cabbage)
• kale
• handful grapes
• handful raisins
• 1/2 orange, chopped

Coconut-Orange Marinade:

• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• juice of half an orange
• 1/4 cup POM juice
• 1/4 cup coconut milk
• balsamic vinegar (to taste)
• salt and pepper (to taste)

Toppings:

• handful feta cheese
• shredded basil leaves

First, make the dressing/marinade by mixing everything together. Taste it and if it isn’t sour enough, add some vinegar. Or if it isn’t sweet enough for you, add some sugar or honey.

Next, stir-fry the ground turkey with the onion and bell pepper. Dump in the marinade, and add the radicchio and kale and grapes. Stir and heat until cooked through.

Once the cabbage is cooked, stir in the freekeh with the raisins and orange. Grind in more black pepper to season if you like.

Dish it out, and top with feta cheese and basil leaves.
Now, I don’t think it’s necessary to explain why it’s called Rainbow! Ain’t the colors gorgeous?
Honestly, it’s exactly how a “mix-it-up” bowl should be: totally random ingredients. Just a slip-slap of whatever ingredients you’ve got in the fridge.
But it turned out utterly delicious! I really, really really love freekeh…that stuff is so delightfully chewy! I’ve only got about 2 tablespoons left…So sad.
It’s amazing what coconut milk can do to a dish. Just a couple tablespoons, and you’ve already got a really lovely taste, and an invisible creaminess to the dish.
It’s not everyday I eat something so colorful, so I took lots of pictures. I’m not trying to be annoying, tee hee hee!
Ah! One last more! One big mouthful!

Oh, by the way, a little angel reminded me that I have so many more precious relationships across the country…
 Biz sent me a mighty sweet package!
Asian snacks! I love! Hello Panda! Hello Kitty! Why do they all start with hello? Hello hello haarrrlooow~
More great ingredients to experiment with! Korean BBQ sauce, Soul Food seasoning, and Panko!
And something to encourage more delicious slurping!

Whoa hahahaha! It feels great to smile and laugh! I know I’ve been acting like a major whiner with chronic PMS lately, and I want to thank you all for enduring the past two negative posts. I really, really appreciate your amazing and wise advice and comforting words. You guys…seriously rock my socks!

Question of the day: Let’s all just share one relationship you are thankful for…it can be something really random too.

I’m thankful for the traffic lady who is always reading her bible in the morning before she monitors the traffic and who always says a cheerful “Good morning” to me as I run past her, late for class! It just puts me in a sweeter mood for some reason.

Related posts:

1. Killing You Softly…With My Words…
2. Thank God There Is No Forever 21
3. Sloppy
4. Wishing For Dreams Come True…
5. A little sweet, a little spice, and a whole lot of nice

Tagged as: "mix-it-up" bowl, basil, bell pepper, cabbage, cheese, coconut, feta cheese, grapes, kale, onions, orange, POM, raisins, turkey, whole grains