Cravings

October 9, 2009

in eating disorders,eating out,My story,product review

Wow. I was really pleasantly surprised by the great response I got from my last post. Thank you for all your support and warm replies, everyone. Honestly, I was a tad bit worried that someone might misunderstand, take it personal, and be offended, especially since the majority of us are health bloggers.

But I would say that my blog is more of a “spiritual” and “mental” health blog with a few random rambles thrown in. If you’re looking for diet and nutrition tips, you’re in the wrong place.

That said, I did get a few thought-provoking comments. Some of you asked how you can listen to your body and pinpoint your cravings. I think that’s a really good question, and I’d love to hear everybody’s opinion on this.

I’d already responded personally to my readers through email, but I thought it might benefit some of you if I discussed this on my blog. Just be aware that this might not pertain to everyone. I’m speaking through my own experiences, and my answer is actually more directed towards those who have/are recovering from an eating disorder.

Question: What if I can’t figure out exactly what I want? Then what?

My answer:

Ah, I know that situation all too well, of staring and staring in despair into the pantry or menu, wondering what the heck it is I want or crave. After years of deprivation and doing everything against what my body was telling me to, I’d lost connection with my body. I couldn’t tell the difference between whether my body truly wanted that, or if it was just a fleeting appetite for some kind of new thrill or experience. And I also have to admit—sometimes I did kind of feel like having something, but I was too scared to try it.

There was also a period when I was truly deluded into thinking I wanted nothing but fruits, vegetables, yogurt, oats, and low-fat cottage cheese. But that was an illusion, because the truth was that I just couldn’t imagine having anything else.

And then, I started being forced to try new things. My hosts in Singapore challenged me to go eat out with them once a week, and I agreed. It was the best decision in my life, because I was being exposed to all the things I previously convinced myself that I did not enjoy – cheese, pasta, full sandwiches, crepes…It was amazing. It was ethereal. It was then that I suddenly realized all the joys and pleasure that I was denying myself!

Through this process of constantly and continuously challenging myself and trying new and scary foods, I re-discovered all my cravings. And by honoring them, I started to be able to start listening to my body. In the process, I also discovered that some of my taste buds have changed – I found out that I really and truly do not like steak, or barbeque, or nutrition bars, or soymilk, or onion rings, or desserts.

And you know what? It’s normal to have your taste buds change. People’s tastes change as they mature. For example, I dislike wine or alcohol now, but I don’t doubt I’ll enjoy it once I reach a certain age.

However, I also need to remind you that food is just food. Obsessing about what you want and what to eat is also not healthy. It is yet another form of eating disorder. See, food should be enjoyed and all, but its main purpose is also to sustain you with the energy to be able to do whatever you need in life. Panicking if you can’t have what you want, and feeling like every meal should be “worth the calories”…that just stems from your eating disorder mentality.

Conclusion:

Branch out and try new things. Don’t automatically think “no” to any certain foods, but have an open-mind that thinks: “I can and will eat anything and everything.” You might love it, or you might not, but how would you know unless you gave it a try?

If you can’t figure out what exactly you’re craving, then it’s ok. You don’t always have to eat what you want. So relax, and don’t fret about not being able to figure out what you truly want. As long as you ate well enough to still be able to enjoy your life, your food has served its purpose.

When you do the above 2 things, that’s when you start to learn to truly listen to your body. Just like any relationship, you need time to build the trust back with your body. And trust me, your body is smart enough to know that you don’t want hotdogs and fried chicken every single day.

There. I hope I made myself clear enough. If you have any more questions, please feel free to email me or leave a comment. And please, I’m no expert, so I’d love to hear everybody else’s opinions.

Oh, and I forgot to mention one other thing I discovered that I really don’t like: Pumpkin ice-cream. After reading raves about this limited edition of ice-cream from fellow bloggers, I grabbed this when I saw that it was on sale for $2.50:

Yuck!! It tastes like pumpkin pie. I know, I know, what the hell was I expecting, right? But the word “pumpkin” deceived me into thinking it would be better than it was. I guess even pumpkin can’t mask the fact that I really don’t like sweet stuff like ice-cream and pie.

But! In light of what I’ve discussed previously…I think it’s also a great idea to :

1) just try something you’ve never tried before or

2) try something from your childhood days!

And that’s exactly what Mimi and I did today. We went to a Korean grocery store in Koreatown:
For me, it was a wave of nostalgia to hear all the loud and boisterous chatters of Korean folks, and to sniff in that garlicky, fermented odor of kimchi. And for Mimi, it was a whole new fascinating experience.
We decided to grab a bite to eat at the food stalls there:

We ordered tteokbukki:
Rice cakes in spicy sauce with cabbage, onions, and hard-boiled egg.
What a pool of red! The lady was rather worried that Mimi might not handle the heat when she handed me this plate of spicy chewy goodness, but she totally underestimated our Southern belle from Texas!
Chewy, sticky, dense, and drenched in thick gochujang sauce…Certainly puts all those puffy airy rice cakes to shame!

We also ordered steamed dumplings:
Korean-style steamed dumplings filled with pork, chives, and vermicelli noodles.
The difference between Korean and Chinese dumplings? The Korean ones usually have more vegetables than meat, and they almost always have vermicelli noodles in them. Their dumpling skin is also a lot thinner than Chinese ones.
After filling our bellies, we went on a shopping expedition to smash our piggy banks. I introduced Mimi to tteok:
Korean rice cakes, all varieties…
Aren’t they pretty? I love these, and I was really surprised to find that Mimi liked them too, as most people who aren’t Korean don’t. They expect something sweet like Japanese mochi desserts, but Korean rice cakes are only slightly sweet, and some are even kind of bitter from mugwort.
They are traditional Korean delicacies, and really make a great fast breakfast or snack. I eat them as snacks, but Mimi likes them as breakfast.

Speaking of which…I think I’m gonna heat up one of my tteok. And return to my studies. I’ve been in furious denial that I have 2 freaking mid-terms next week, and I now need to get cranking.

Question of the day: Any advice/tips/comments/suggestions for the question above? And if not, is there anything new or nostalgic you’ve tried recently?

P.S. Check out this amazing philanthropic program to make a difference in this world!

P.P.S. I won Biz’s cheese giveaway with my Kabocha Mac & Cheese recipe!!!!!!!

'cuz burping and slurping is mandatory and polite when it comes to good eats

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