The Real Natural Diet

October 7, 2009

in eating disorders,My story,recipes

“You’ve gotta eat your vegetables.”

Everybody has heard and known this since they were a toddler. For those of us who were lucky enough to have parents who cared, we’ve had broccoli and spinach and peas stuffed down our throat since young. Our parents deviously slipped carrots guised under some cheesy sauce, or cunningly cut up onions especially fine so that we won’t be able to pick them out.

This is why it may seem so strange to you that for the last three or so years, I’ve been hearing the complete opposite: “You’ve gotta eat your dessert and junk food.”

Because, you see, refusing to indulge in a while is a health problem, too. So is insisting on eating only “organic, whole foods” and nothing else. They’re both a mental health problem.

Now don’t go and smugly tell me you never have cravings. That you never want something sinful and sweet, or that you never occasionally dream of sinking your teeth into a nice, greasy piece of fried chicken or french fry. Because we all know that it’s total and complete bullshit.

I’d never been overly concerned about healthy eating, even during my worst eating disordered years. During my depths of starvation, all I cared about was the calories, and I practically subsisted on nibbles of carrot sticks, chocolate, cookies, muffins, and black coffee. Because I was severely deficit in calories, all I craved was sugar and caffeine.

Once I decided to “recover”, however, I sunk into yet another disorder: the obsession to eat healthy. Sounds virtuous, doesn’t it? Don’t let that deceive you.

At that time I claimed that I was trying to take care of myself now, that I was willing to “recover”, therefore I needed all the nutrition I can get— Bull-freakin-shit. That was just an excuse to be able to restrict, to be able to hold on to that form of control I was afraid to let go.

What am I saying here? I’m not trying to force McNuggets down everybody’s throat and advertise a reform for fast food and frozen entrees— this is our body and we have the responsibility to take care of it— but we need to give our bodies more credit.

I believe our bodies are wonderful, miraculous creations intricately woven by the hands of God, and that they can take care of themselves better than our own minds. The problem is when we try to control and analyze every milligram of vitamins, every ounce of fat, protein, fiber, etc. that enters our mouth, as if our bodies can be supervised and monitored like machines.

Let’s take protein, for example. I think I might have lacked in the protein department a bit because the last few days, I’ve been craving a good, meaty burger. And guess what? I listened to my body and got myself a burger:
IMG_0562Okay, I’ll admit: in true Sophia-fashion, I went totally overboard and ate 3 Carl’s Jr burgers and 3 Burger King Whoppers over the last 5 days. I was feeling icky by the 4th burger, but I still forced myself to eat it because I didn’t want to waste money. I’m all burgered-out now.

But! That also proves yet another thing: if you listen to your body, you won’t ever go overboard. I remember I used to be worried that once I let a bite of “junk food” touch my lips, then I’ll “lose it” and start craving nothing but junk food. Well, that is simply not true. After I satisfied my burger craving, all I felt was satisfaction. And I could live without burgers for a while now. ;-)

Another craving I strangely had today: Fried stuff. So I picked some criss-cut fries from Carl’s Jr:
IMG_0822 Greasy. Crunchy. Hot. Salty. It was heaven.
IMG_0823 Do I want to eat deep-fried stuff again now? Not really. I’ve satisfied my craving, and I probably won’t be wanting any fried stuff until my next craving.

Next up: sugar. I already mentioned before that I don’t really have a sweet tooth. But I noticed that on days when I’m really needing an extra boost of energy, I get my sweet tooth back:
IMG_0641 I’ve long since finished this packet of Newman Own’s Organics Ginger-O’s, but you see my point (It’s awesome by the way, much better than chocolate Oreos).

Or I might suck on one or two of these Korean milk caramels:
IMG_0670 My point is, there is no food on this Earth that is bad for you. Every food, even the “junk food” that we try to avoid, is nourishment and sustenance for our bodies and our minds. It only becomes truly bad when we abuse them.

Every food is allowed and every food is necessary, but in natural moderation. Notice I added the word “natural”, because that’s the kind of diet I want to have— the diet that is not ruled by numbers and data, but guided by the amazing, natural body that God gave me.

That being said, let me show you a dish that I think has a pretty good balance in both nutrition and indulgence. Again, I hate numbers, but I’ll say leaving about 20% for a bit of leeway won’t do you no harm in the least.

Kabocha-Grits with Sautéed Vegetables, Grilled Hotdog, and Soft-Boiled Egg

IMG_0764
Kabocha Grits:

  • ol
    ive oil
  • 1 clove garlic, minced
  • 1/2 small onion, diced
  • 1/3 cup dry corn grits
  • chicken broth
  • 1/4 cup kabocha puree
  • 1/4 cup cottage cheese
  • 1/4 cup Parmesan cheese
  • salt and pepper

Sauteed Vegetables:

  • olive oil
  • 1 clove garlic, minced
  • 1/2 small onion, diced
  • 1/2 zucchini, chopped
  • 2-3 shitake mushrooms, chopped
  • squeeze lime juice
  • drizzle balsamic vinegar

Additional Ingredients:

  • 1 link hotdog
  • 1 large egg
  • feta cheese, crumbled
  • black pepper

For the grits, cook garlic and onion in olive oil until soft. Stir in the grits, and pour in chicken broth. Bring to a boil, and let simmer, stirring constantly. Stir in kabocha, and cook until thick. Add more liquid if necessary. Remove from heat, stir in cottage cheese and Parmesan. Season with salt and pepper.

For the vegetables, just sautee all the vegetables together in a pan. Drizzle in vinegar and squeeze in lime juice to taste. Don’t go overboard!

Meanwhile, split and grill the hotdog in your trusty George Foreman. Soft-boil an egg (about 4-5 minutes). Peel the skin.

Once everything is done, ladle the grits onto a dish, toss the vegetables over. Place the egg and hotdog on top. Sprinkle with feta cheese, and grate fresh ground pepper over.
IMG_0763 Hee hee hee, I know some of you are gonna groan and moan about that vulgar hotdog tainting the whole dish, but I like hotdogs! They are a cheap source of protein, and how can you not like these pink processed mystery meat?
IMG_0765 But honestly, hotdogs taste so much better grilled like this. I love Mr. GF! I took a bite off the end before plating it, though. This was one huge fat hotdog. Compare it to the “large” egg!
IMG_0766 And I really, really don’t get people who leave out the yolks to be “healthy”. The yolk is actually the most nutritious part! And that myth about eggs causing high cholesterol? It was proven wrong!! Just goes about to say how much you can trust these scientists…
IMG_0770 And another more important reason why you should eat the whole egg: It’s freaking yummy! :-)
 IMG_0767 How about that? I didn’t even plan out the nutritional facts of this dish, and it turned out pretty well-balanced, in my opinion.
IMG_0769I hope I didn’t offend anyone with this post. I apologize if I have come a bit too strong, but I felt it necessary to point out that disordered eating and obsessive behaviors can come in all forms, even under the thin guise of healthy eating.

Again, I’m not implying that you should toss your Greek yogurt and forget about buying organic— if you can afford it, that’s great— but you shouldn’t let that control you in any way. Ultimately, food is just food—sustenance to help you enjoy your life. It would be just too sad and ironical if food was what robbed you from real peace and joy in life.

Question of the day: What are you craving right now? Be it donuts or celery sticks, just say the truth! ;-)

Related posts:

  1. Identity Crisis
  2. Pampered
  3. Killing You Softly…With My Words…
  4. The Never-ending Race
  5. Thank God There Is No Forever 21

{ 144 comments… read them below or add one }

Amy October 8, 2009 at 12:48 am

Hey,
Just landed on your blog.

You have a really strong opinion, but I think it’s a great thing!!

Your blog is awesome.
:)

Amy
xx

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Nicole October 8, 2009 at 1:06 am

As I told you once before, you are so wise beyond your years. I freakin’ love this post! It’s so true. Everyone does have cravings for sweets, fried goodness and the ‘not-so-healthy’ foods that that don’t are lying and aren’t any fun! I think I get a craving just about everyday. I’ve gone to the point where I’ve abused these kinds of foods and then been sick. And I’ve also deprived myself of the things I’ve loved. Being somewhere in the middle is the best. And I’m happiest when I’m there and enjoying a hot and salty french fry! Or, a good fig :)

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hikkilurver October 8, 2009 at 1:27 am

I am craving… Diddy Riese ice cream sandwich! Have you been to Westwood? You should really try it ;D The USC kids come and line up too ^^

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mademoiselle délicieuse October 8, 2009 at 1:43 am

Oh my goodness, crinkle-cut fries! I need some of those in Sydney – freshly fried ones, not the ones that come in potato chip packets.

And I agree with your philosophy of listening to what your body wants. I always get a mysterious craving for fruit when I’m coming down with a cold or flu, and always feel better after a ‘fix’.

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Mia {runs and rests} October 8, 2009 at 2:54 am

Sophia, great post! I have to confess that I’ve let healthy eating control me some days. It’s still a learning process for me but I think I’m doing generally well – eating, not counting calories, and just enjoying food.
Thank you for your comforting words last week. I really appreciate it. Sorry for the lack of comments; I missed reading your insightful posts.

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Niamh October 8, 2009 at 3:42 am

This is an amazing post.
There’s no ‘worst’ eating disorder. They’re all terrible. Often that’s how other eating disorders start. I know it was for me. I got obsessed with healthy eating and lost weight as a result and then the whole thing just spirralled out of control. This is why my main counseller believes eating disorders should be dealt with in the same way as addiction. It truely is an addiction. That’s why so many ED people have obsessive natures.
I’m always thinking of food and my therapist says ‘what would you be thinking about if you weren’t thinking of food?’. The scary thing is I don’t know. That’s what I’ve got to find out. With any obsession you lose yourself. Orthorexia would be the same. The worst thing about Orthorexia would be that you feel viritious and you don’t feel like you have to hide. People wouldn’t be supscious or worried if you’re not hiding things. And a lot of doctors don’t considor it a disorder. That means that there’s a lot of people out there with eating disorders than we realise……

Thanks for the lovely comment. Ekk yes I’m struggling. I will struggle on. Here’s to today. :)

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Erica October 8, 2009 at 6:43 am

I hear ya on this one…I have a tendency to get a bit obsessive with the eating 100% good 100% of the time. Right now I want a bowl of tortilla chips. Is that weird at 6:45 am? haha

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Joanne October 8, 2009 at 7:33 am

i totally agree with you. If you are going to eat healthily for a lifetime, there needs to be some junk food in there. It is just unrealistic to think that you are never going to eat a french fry or a chocolate bar again. And those who actually try to do this are probably not living life to its fullest potential. Eat dessert first. My own personal motto.

I went through the crazy nutrition phase as well, but it is now being followed by the crazy baking phase. And life is much better this way :) . Everything in moderation.

I love the kabocha grits! They look amazing. Not such a fan of hot dogs, so can I substitute some sausage. K thanks!

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crunchygranolagal October 8, 2009 at 7:57 am

sophia, thank you thank you thank you for acknowledging that an obsession with healthy eating is an eating disorder in itself. i got stuck in that rut for a few years in my recovery process and am so glad that i am finally breaking free — in the past week i’ve had regular pizza, white bagels with cream cheese, ice cream, sushi, full-fat yogurt — and hopefully french fries soon, too!

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lesley October 8, 2009 at 8:13 am

Everything in moderation right?
I so agree with this post Sophia.
Even when I’m on a diet I allow myself a burger, a bit fat cheesy one lol
craving now? my french stick with cheddar cheese..gotta go ..it’s calling me

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louise October 8, 2009 at 8:58 am

Whew! I’m so hungry right now, I could eat all of the above!!!

GREAT post, Sophia. So noteworthy…Thanks for sharing…

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Holly October 8, 2009 at 9:58 am

if you listen to your body, you won’t ever go overboard. AMEN SISTER!!!!

i think this might be one of my favorite posts of yours ever! you are so right on all accounts above. although i can’t say i crave a hotdog…i do have cravings, all the time! sometimes i indulge and sometimes i hold back – i try to listen to my body and know when it really wants something instead of wanting something out of boredom, etc.

LOVE YOU GIRL!

if i could have anything right now, I want a nice buttery scone. ahhhh they are one of my faves!

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Anais October 8, 2009 at 10:17 am

I am ALL about eating what my body craves. Doesn’t mean I’m always eating chips, because often, my body craves fruits, vegetables, beans. But when I really want something, I’ll eat it. And if it’s “bad” I’ll try to have a smaller portion. It does make it difficult sometimes when I don’t know what I’m craving :P And then it takes me about an hour to decide what I’ll be having for dinner ;)

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Bryan V. October 8, 2009 at 10:28 am

Anais: I’m with you! Why stop yourself if you are craving for it? ayt?

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Weekly Bite October 8, 2009 at 10:30 am

What a great post!!! I LOVE everything about it!! Everything you said is exactly correct… there’s no such thing as a bad food!

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Angharad (Eating for England) October 8, 2009 at 11:26 am

Hello hello! I think the most important thing to remember is that everyone is different and what I crave might not be what you crave. It has a lot to do with how we’re brought up – I really believe that. For example, I was not given or allowed to eat junk food as a child and I think I eat and crave that stuff less as a result. What I do crave is the stuff I grew up on.
I completely agree with you that disordered eating can come in many guises and “health-ifying” everything that crosses our lips is not necessarily a healthy approach to balanced eating.
Much love!

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Allison (Eat Clean Live Green) October 8, 2009 at 11:31 am

Great post! Not everything needs to be healthy. Food has no morals – nothing is bad or good. Some of it makes you feel better or worse, but it’s all food!

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Pam October 8, 2009 at 11:35 am

It’s so great seeing you eat burgers and fries. I am so proud of you! I think you are right, everything in moderation.

I am always craving salt. I love any salty snack.

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OysterCulture October 8, 2009 at 12:19 pm

I go through bouts too where I just crave something and am not happy until I have my feel. I agree its just about listening to your body – it doesn’t have to shout but you need to pay attention

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EatingRD October 8, 2009 at 1:04 pm

You are just too freakin’ cute and honest and I love it. So true! When I started getting into nutrition I veered on the path towards orthorexia. I was eating, but over analyzing and had to eat everything healthy with an occasional treat here and there. Food is really about sustenance and fueling our amazing bodies. It’s not about good or bad, but moderation and truly enjoying it. I myself have been craving a wendy’s frosty with fries to dip in all freaking summer :) mmm another KABOCHA recipe! I still have to roast mine, but I’m leaning towards your pizza :)

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dailygoods October 8, 2009 at 1:37 pm

amazing posttt :) i love it! and i have never seen those korean caramels! i love antyhing caramel so i’m DEFNIITELY going to have to find them next time im in the asian grocery store!

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broccolihut October 8, 2009 at 1:53 pm

I MUST find kabocha ASAP.
I am craving…tofu. Not like that’s out of the ordinary, however.

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Blond Duck October 8, 2009 at 1:58 pm

Well, now I’m craving a burger.

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KCLAnderson (Karen) October 8, 2009 at 2:06 pm

Funny you should write this today…I am not a sweets or chocolate person but for the past two days I’ve been wanting chocolate. Even more I was craving chocolate and peanut butter so I bought a small bag of Ghiardelli milk chocolate squares with PB filling. I ate them all. Yum.

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MelissaNibbles October 8, 2009 at 2:06 pm

Thank you for this post. It brought tears to my eyes because this is something that I’m currently struggling with and it’s a fight. Reading your words has made motivated me to work harder on honoring my cravings. Thank you so much.

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Naomi (onefitfoodie) October 8, 2009 at 2:06 pm

LOVE your post and LOVE your new blog!!! ;)

totally agree that you we hacve to give our bodies more credit!!! such an inspiration!!

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Diana October 8, 2009 at 2:13 pm

I love this post so much. :)
THANK YOU.

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lilveggiepatch October 8, 2009 at 2:30 pm

This is a beautifully written post, and I’m so happy that you’ve been able to recognize your body as the strong powerhouse it is. Enjoy those burgers!

I’m craving pretzel thins right now… we don’t have any of those, unfortunately!

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Ada Rubin October 8, 2009 at 3:28 pm

Wow that was such a great post! Your kabocha grits are absolutely gorgeous, if Gourmet wasn’t closing I would tell you to submit the recipe to them!

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Gera @ SweetsFoods October 8, 2009 at 6:09 pm

It’s hard to have a diet with burger king whoppers!! Control exercises and vegs is the key :)

Cheers!

Gera

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Pearl October 8, 2009 at 6:27 pm

Thank you so much for this post. Being at a healthy weight and eating relatively “normal” food is different from having a truly healthy relationship with food. There is no reason to ascribe value judgments to food, and you’ve done a great job of talking about this. I hope to get to where you are!

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maggie October 8, 2009 at 6:56 pm

Your right, everything in moderation!!

Maggie

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Devan G Newman October 8, 2009 at 7:53 pm

awesome post, sophia. It really puts life/food/living in a great perspective. Our body is our temple, and we should give it what it needs and craves!
Currently, I am craving Gomae and sushi.. oh man :(

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biz319 October 8, 2009 at 8:43 pm

Completely loved this post Sophia! And guess what? You won my $60 Cabot cheese giveaway! You know what the deciding factor was? I love bacon in anything, and of course cheese, but I LOVE MACARONI AND CHEESE!

It’s not often on my blog because Tony hates it. When he was about your age, in school, money was tight, he had to sustain himself on boxed macaroni and cheese, made with water and no butter, for a whole week!

After that he said he would never eat macaroni and cheese again, and he never has – not even mine made from scratch!

As soon as I find kobacha, I am making your mac n cheese! Email me at bdl319@gmail.com with your address and I’ll forward it to Cabot so you can create more delicious eats!

Hugs!

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Jolene (www.everydayfoodie.ca) October 8, 2009 at 10:21 pm

I am craving pasta!!! I love savoury and salty flavours more than sweet.

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Jen October 9, 2009 at 7:26 am

I loves burgers!!

I say EVERYTHING IN MODERATION!!

anyone who tells you otherwise…well forget them!

enjoy!

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Nowheymama October 9, 2009 at 8:26 am

Just catching up on my reading. Great post!

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A October 9, 2009 at 5:44 pm

My biggest craving is cake…. And it HAS to have SWEET vanilla icing…. the hard ind…. not the whipped kind!! MMMMMMM!
-A

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Malin October 9, 2009 at 5:57 pm

Great post, I couldn’t have said it better myself! I think it’s much better to give in to your cravings on a regular basis, instead of denying yourself something over a longer period of time, which will only make your cravings stronger, and at some point you go bananas. I believe very much in listening to your body and that every food is ok, but not all the time.

And my biggest craving, I have more than one, is cake! Any kind will do :)

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Reeni October 9, 2009 at 10:02 pm

I’m craving tortilla chips dipped in sour cream!! And squash with yummy drippy yolk oozing all over the place!!!!!! This post was a great reminder for me not to get too caught up in the calories and worrying about every little thing I do or don’t eat.

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Kerstin October 10, 2009 at 1:07 pm

I’m with you on this one and eat everything in moderation. Sometimes I crave a nice big salad but some days I want a burger!

Love your grits – yum!

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Hayley October 11, 2009 at 7:59 pm

I found this post through Abby’s blog (I Have Issues) and I’m so glad I followed the link. I completely agree with everything you wrote and I’m so glad you put it out there. Thank you for this post…

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yogiclarebear October 11, 2009 at 11:12 pm

if someone were to judge another for “putting such and such food in your body,” i might say, maybe it is going in the soul. god made food taste good for a reason, to be enjoyed. it isn’t always just about “fuel” in my opinion. fuel and function yes, but also enjoyment and experience! :)

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Katie January 25, 2010 at 9:47 pm

I am so making this for breakfast!

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