If my day could be summed up into one sentence yesterday, it would be that “I felt like shit.”
I will not go into much details, but basically, an article that I slaved over for was not printed. My editors decided to leave it out at the last minute without even warning me beforehand. The next morning I got a nasty surprise when I saw my story missing from the paper. I emailed my editors asking why it was missing, and they blamed it on space issues and the fact that the Safety Awareness Fair I was covering just wasn’t so “newsworthy” after all because it wasn’t any different from last year’s fair.
You can tell I’m seriously upset when my expressions turn stoic. Usually I like to throw a tantrum, putting all my frown muscles into work, with expletives ejecting out of my mouth, but when I am truly, deeply upset, I go silent and blank-faced and pale like a zombie.
That may have been my exterior appearance, but my interior state was a boiling turmoil. It wasn’t just the fact that I felt like a failed journalist. It was also the fact that I wasted so much time 1) sitting around waiting and missing a class for a call from an interviewee who was more than 4 hours late, 2) missing a social event so I that I got home in time for an interviewee who promised to call but didn’t, and 3) almost getting a police officer upset because my editor wanted me to grill him further about why he couldn’t prevent all the crimes that happened within our campus.
Yesterday I felt like all my inner joy and peace had been sucked out of me. I felt dry and enervated. I even skipped a class because I just didn’t want to do anything. I just sat at my desk and stared into nothingness, with a flurry of thoughts and worries whirling in my head.
Isn’t it scary how your peace can be swooped away in a flash? I can be happy and thankful one moment, and then something small happens and all that positive emotions and thoughts are zapped into a crisp. All that’s left is toxic ashes that continue to poison my mind and emotions.
And then I realized—Holy cow. When was the last time I read my bible? When was the last time I had a real, deep, personal one-to-one with God? No wonder my emotions are a flitter-flutter these days. I’ve lost touch with my foundation, my source of life, my never-changing and everlasting companion!
Suddenly I had this tugging urge to flip open the bible. And what would you know? God’s hands flipped open the pages for me to this verse:
“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?…Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” –> Matthew 6:26, 34
I bolded every single word in that verse because every. single. word. pierced deep into my heart and soul. Holy shit. How could I have forgotten just how powerful God’s word is? I’ve been putting a lot of stuff as first priority before my own state of mind and spirit. I’ve been like a bobbing jellyfish, letting myself be led by the waves around me instead of being deeply rooted within my base and foundation. No wonder I’ve been all over the place!
Sorry, this has become rather long, but I’ve been hit by such a flash of inspiration that I just had to let it all out. I’ve made a resolution:
- I am not going to let anything tear me away from my base of foundation, which is key to strengthening my inner peace and joy. To me that’s God, and the bible.
- I will live each day for each day only, as the bible verse suggested. Yesterday was shitty, but today— Today, I start again, afresh.
In fact, I’m already plenty excited for today’s event. I’ll be meeting up with Mimi for lunch, and then we might be going to a screening this evening for the ABC Family TV show GREEK. And yes, I’ll be covering it for the Daily Trojan and perhaps even scoring an interview with the cast members. We’ll see how that goes. 
And can I just say how blessed I am to have met Mimi? She seriously is a wonderful, sweet, amazing, intelligent person. In fact she was the first person I wailed to about my unprinted article (which is probably in the trash right now). We’re from totally different backgrounds, but we are alike in many ways. One of which is our passion for good food.
Indeed, we even braved the lousy LA metro bus system to get a taste of LA’s famous Umami Burger. Yes, we rode an hour’s worth of horrible public transportation just to get a damn burger. And holy cow, it was freaking worth it. 
Umami Burger has not been around for long, but it’s already created quite a sensation. So popular, in fact, that it’s got plans to open up in two more locations. It was way past 2 when Mimi and I arrived, but it was still pretty crowded! 
According to this website, Umami is a Japanese term referring to “a pleasant savoury taste imparted by glutamate, a type of amino acid, and ribonucleotides, including inosinate and guanylate, which occur naturally in many foods including meat, fish, vegetables and dairy products.”
Huh? Let me simplify it for you: Umami is the freaking amazing 5th sense of taste that makes you salivate like crazy when you chomp on a good savory dish. Think: MSG. Ahhh.
And that’s exactly the sensation we got when we chomped into our burger. 
We ordered two burgers and split them both to share. One was the original Umami burger: 
Meaty beef burger, roasted tomato, mushroom, Parmesan chip, caramelized onion, and spread on a toasted Portuguese bun. Umami…x6!!! 
The other was the Turkey Miso Burger: 
Turkey burger with Asian BBQ sauce and avocado relish on Portuguese bun.
Holy Freaking Sensation! Words cannot describe how amazing these burgers were. Literally, my mouth was watering as it chewed on this burger. I was wondering how the burger cold be so freaking juicy, and it turns out half the juice was from my own saliva! 
Now that’s what I’m talking about! 
And that Parmesan chip…pretty damn cool!
The service wasn’t that great, though. It was mad-busy and the waiters were all over the place. 
But that was okay, because I wasn’t there for the service, but for the food. And they wore really nice Umami shirts, so they are excused (I want that shirt!)
Suffice to say, I will definitely be visiting again. My heart already aches to return and try the other burgers. Check out the menu: 
Oh, and side-note: What is with the annoying little plants that restaurants love to place in the middle of the table? 
This irritating little tree is just getting in the way of me and my food!
AH! I can’t stand it any longer. I have to stop thinking about Umami. Until I return again, I shall refrain from all thought Umami. Homer goes “Mmm…Donuts…” and I go “Mmm…Umami…”. Okay, seriously Sophia, stop.
Bye bye!
Question of the day: What keeps your thoughts and emotions grounded each day? And what is the best burger you’ve had?
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When I ate meat regularly, the best burger I had was seriously one of the mini’s at a Ruby Tuesday! I know, right?
So sorry about your article! That just sucks. But I have to say, you took comfort in one of my favorite scriptures!
Once when I was going through a REALLY hard time, my sweet husband pointed that exact verse out to me, and I have loved it ever since!
OMG! I love this post…hee hee…you know how burger crazed I am! Those look delicious…best burger for me is in Pittsburgh at a bar called Silky’s….yum!
Also, I know exactly what you’ve felt like with your article getting scrapped. Unfortunately in the world of journalism that happens a LOT! There are times here where I work hard on a story and the editor just decides not to use it or he doesn’t have space for it and so has to keep pushing it to the next month eventually forgetting abt it. You feel like it’s a lot of work and time wasted….sighs…but just keep your chin up because you’ll notice that you’ll eventually have more articles printed than articles scrapped and everytime you see your name in print it’s a nice feeling
Hey hun,
I think the article shittyness turned into a very useful lesson – like you said, you turned towards spiritual comfort to ease the frustration. I also think that you described how you did quite a few things for this article you did not WANT to do, it went against your journalist’s integrity. So imo your editor should eat his own hat/shoe/sock and you should go look for stories in the way that inspires you to be the best journalist you can. It may not get your stories published at first, but you will be well on your way to finding your own voice, as you so beautifully display on this blog.
Lovies! Oh and as for best burger: it was at the best burger place in Otario, can’t remember what it was called but it was THE best indeed. Now I just enjoy my veggie burgers.
sorry to hear about the article not being printed especially when you spent so long on it and sacrificed events etc to work on it.
but out of this has come your determination to get back to the heart of your life which is God. if it hadn’t been for this difficulty, then perhaps you would have carried on without realising that you were in need of getting up-close and personal again with God and His beautiful Word. praise the Lord that He is able to show Himself through situations even where we become lost.
(& as a side issue, those editors are lamez. your writing is amazing and should be published whatever you are writing about.)
that burger sounds amazing. and i am intrigued. what a great concept.
hope you’re having a fabby day!
L. x x x
You’re making me blush! You’re such a great friend!
Ah, reading your post, that’s pretty much the same answer I got for why my budget article wasn’t in the paper–I just happened to know beforehand. The editors were adamant that it wasn’t my fault, but that what they thought was a story really wasn’t. You have to remember–they are sophomores too, and still learning to be good editors.
But you know what? I feel like I learned a lot from that article. It was the first article I’d done to push me out of my comfort zone by talking to people who didn’t want to talk to me. And the editors gave me some great tips on how to wiggle information out of stubborn sources.
It sucks, it really does, because you DO put your heart and soul into these things…but in the end, the paper takes precedence over all trials and tribulations.
And you did such a great job interviewing those celebs! I’m sure all your recent interviews have given you valuable experience!
It’s great that your Bible brings you so much inspiration! Your post made me think of this verse: “Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.” Great stuff.
so sorry to hear abt ye article.
cheer up ull do great in future. and i know u can 
) burger are the beast snack ever 
I’m so sorry that your article didn’t get printed! I would be mad!! I’m glad you found your foundation and focus once again. I constantly have to remind myself that happiness can’t be based on circumstances, which constantly seem to disappoint.
I have a recipe for homemade Parm crisps that I need to try!
Remember there’s always a new day to find new ways to be thankful, happy, etc. =) God bless!
“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?…Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
I love this!!!!
1) you are not and never a failure, it was just one setback
2)nothing is EVER a waste! believe that!
I have been reading your tweets, you are doing GREAT! you should be so proud of yourself.
Jen
Hey Sophia – if you check out my last post, I tried the kabocha soup + goat cheese recipe you shared with us on your blog. It was AWESOME
I was so excited to eat my leftovers.
Anyway, I’m glad you got your feet back on the ground. I’m sorry that happened to you, but it’s just something to learn from.
Staying present helps me stay grounded… not overthinking things. Hm.. I can’t recall a best burger lol. Maybe the black bean and bulgar burgers I made once?
http://www.ohonemorething.wordpress.com
Sorry about the article…but you’re a GREAT writer, so don’t let this get you down!
The burgers look diviiiiiiiine…
Maybe you can talk to your editors and have them print it in the next issue? Explain to them how much time you spent on it or maybe you can submit it to a different publication! I’m sorry it didn’t get published.
Your burgers look awesome!
Good for you on talking yourself back onto the right track! There will always be people and situations ready to take you down, so it’s fantastic you were able to talk yourself up!
So sorry your article wasn’t published. Life can disappoint sometimes…the burgers look great!
Everything happens for a reason. Maybe your disappointment was the trigger you needed to open your bible again. Still, it sucks but learn something from the situation.
God, I haven’t had a burger in a long time. I think I have yet to taste The Burger. Or maybe I should experiment with some beans or something. Your burger sure looks juicy!
I’m so sorry about your article not being published. Next time, I’m sure it will be! The burger looks awesome!
Crummy news satisfied by a yummy burger. What could be better than that? But Matthew said it better than I have. It is so true.
sorry about the story – that is always the worst. however, it won’t be the last time, and i think you will be better equipped to handle those deadlines in the future!
those burgers look AMAZING!
Awe man…. sorry about the article. When I have a bad day the best thing for me is a GOOD cry and some ME time. Me time can be anything from exercise to cooking to sleeping. Whatever I’m feeling at the time. I’m not a huge fan of meat burgers but I love me any kind of veggie burger with avocado and ketchup… oh and there HAS to be some fries on the side
-A
i’m so sorry to hear about your article, it sounds like the burger was the perfect antidote. i lean towards food and good friends when i’m down too.
Sorry…one more thing. Thought of you when I ran across this part of their blog (in terms of burgers).
http://aht.seriouseats.com/
Print out that verse and put it on your desk or on the fridge. You don’t even realiza how proud I am of you that you were able to bounce back and not let it swallow you up…you did it with God’s help, but YOU took the first step and you chose to step froward to God and not backward.
{{{HUGS}}}
I’m sorry about your article…how frustrating! At least it reminded you of your spiritual/emotional wellness and now you’re better equipped to deal with frustrations like that. My mouth is watering just looking at those burgers!
I’m sorry about your bad day. I hope things improve soon.
The burger looks tasty…but I’m always nervous about pink hamburger.
Ahhh how freakin’ frustrating, but I’m glad you were able to contain your anger and frustration after a while – sometimes you just need to breathe, and reach out.
That burger looks nothing short of amazing
Love,
Meg
Thanks for reminding me not to worry so much! And, now I’m hungry for a burger.
great job finding that positive outlook. it can be really hard sometimes, and I know how frustrating it can be when your news article isn’t chosen!, but a good burger ALWAYS cheers me up!!!
Awww, sorry about your article, but I’m sure it’s only a little bump in the road!
Those burgers are making my mouth water – love those parm chips on top too!
Burgers sound amazing! I’m so glad you have a strong spirituality to ground you and keep things in perspective. Very important.
I’m so sorry about your article. Damn those people! But I am so happy that you were able to find solace and comfort in God and the bible. Your faith truly inspires me. You are such a wonderfully deep and profound person – no matter what happens to you, you always seem to find the light at the end of the tunnel. You always manage to smile and grow from your experiences. You’re a woman so wise beyond your years!
yup there are a bunch of le pain quotidiens here. they are great, but expensive!
i have a hard time keeping my thoughts and emotions grounded, i guess journaling a lot for me really helps to just get down all my emotions, especually in the morning i spend a lot of time journaling…but i do tend to get very well not grounded in my actions lately, iguess with the re-feeding etc my ED gets all scared/panicky and often vocalized it, i am working on keeping it to myself and distracting myself from these stressful things…and hmmm best burger i ever ate, in NYC at this place called spring street natural they had a almond crusted veggie burger on the best bun, with some sort of special aioli sauce! so good…
love all your eats girly, and feel better, thinking of you and hope today is a better day lovie
thank you for such a sweet comment on my post, your comments always make me smile.
xo
Eliza
Ahhh! I’ve heard some ‘horror stories’ about the editors of school newspapers. The sound of it frightened me
But I’m glad you were able to turn it around and find it as a faith-strengthening experience for yourself.
The best burger… Growing up I didn’t like burgers very much, so I don’t have much of a repertoire x) But awhile go I had a homemade veggie burger at this cafe with CHIPOTLE-PECAN PESTO on it… amazing
Aww I’m so sorry about the article. It looks like you made up for it with that burger though!
OK, Umami burger goes on my list for next time! I hope I can go to LA for some warmth when we hit winter here. hehehe
BTW, no matter how good burgers are out at restaurants, it’s one of those things that always taste best when you make it yourself.
Sorry to hear about the newspaper mishap. Sounds like poor planning on the part of the editors. Frankly, every reporter knows one festival is pretty similar to the next, so for them to have expected you to come up with something miraculously new and different is pretty shortsighted on their part. Basically, a festival story is just a color piece on how it went, who attended, and was it more successful than the previous year? Sorry you had to go through that.
On a bright note, I’m glad the burger made you feel better. That turkey-miso one sounds like the perfect antidote to any miserable day.
Hey Sophia. Sorry about how late this post is… I’ve been busy/sick.
I’m so sorry that you put so much work into the story only to have it put aside. The editors must have been out of their minds – your writing is always amazing, and I’m sure the article was great.
The ‘second’ part of this post was so enlightening and wonderful. That excerpt from Matthew truly was poignant to the situation (and life in general!).
Although I’m a vegetarian, I love the idea of Umami burger. That lovely 5th sense is rarely thought of in restaurants. Or maybe that is just here in Ireland.
Love you!
Emma
Sorry to hear about your article. Hope you are feeling better about it. The burger looks soooo good!
I tend to not eat a lot of meat, but all those burgers look great!
I had a case of the mubblefubbles just the other day. I even posted about it just to try and shake it off. Looks like I should have gone to Umami. Their food sure looks good!!! Although, I think it’s your excitement that really put me over the edge. Feel better…
Aw I’m sorry about the article
I love your second resolution about living each day for each day. That can help with so many things. I’ve had a few bad eating days in the past week but every day is a new day so I shouldn’t throw my healthy eating habits out just cause I messed up! Thanks for posting it!
hi Girlie u have 94 comments so you can write lol, the burgers looks yum, God loves ya
It is definitely frustrating when things don’t go as you planned or when you work so hard for something and than don’t get it. Kudos to you for being optimistic as always and seeing the silver lining in things.
Those burgers look awesome! So pink and so yummy. My favorite burger was a salsa verde turkey burger that I made – it was incredibly juicy and spicy. MMMM.
That burger definitely has all the umami! Mouthwatering!
I LOVE LOVE LOVE that matthew verse. It’s all in His hands. Praise the Lord
Mmm that meal looks delicious! Wanna eat the burger off the page…
<3 jess
xoxo
OMG, Umami here I come, it looks incredible.
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