Today I had a very significant dinner date with two of my high school friends, Kate and Kelly. It was a very important time for me, because it was the first meet-up since many years that I’ve met my high school friends with a different outlook and understanding of our relationship.

Kelly and I have had an altogether smooth friendship.
We are so different and unlikely friends, but our common interest in literature and art has bonded us together. I like her a lot, and she’s spunky, rambunctious, and tons of fun. Though we are opposite polars of the world, we’ve never really had any conflicts between us. Perhaps we’ve just never talked deeper about our most intimate and personal lives.

Kate and I, however, go back further.
She was one of the first “Caucasian” friends I made when I first arrived in America from Singapore as an awkward FOB (fresh-out-of-boat) with nerdy glasses and pants that showed off my ankle-socks and plastic sandals. God, was I so…fobby then.

But Kate accepted me and welcomed me to her group of friends. Being alike in many ways, we formed a fiercely close bond. We were both highly stubborn, opinionated, and passionate. I remember clearly those days when we would debate loudly about religion and politics, each insisting that each was right. Our relationship kept strong and steady through high school, even though we had different classes.

And then…anorexia stomped in. Well, what did you expect? ED loves to ruin anything and everything it can.

The night I got hospitalized, Kate was one of the few people I called. She came to visit me immediately. She kept up a stoic front, but I caught a look of shock in her expression when she saw me lying in bed in my hospital gown with all visible bones protruding, hooked to the IV. She’d never really guessed that I had an eating disorder, because I had been hiding under bundles of clothes and had carefully avoided all social activities consisting food.

I didn’t witness this myself as I was stuck in the hospital, but Kate was hysterical when she went back home. Apparently she cried all the day in school, blaming herself for not catching me beforehand. She sent me cards, and pleaded with me to admit myself to a treatment center.

5 days later, I checked myself out of the hospital against doctor’s orders. 5 days later, my friendship with Kate slid down jagged steps.

She never understood why I did not enter a treatment program. I guess she thought I was being a religious freak when I said no one can really heal me except God. And I guess she was frustrated because I couldn’t admit out loud that I did have anorexia. From then on, she carefully started to avoid me.

A few months later, I found out from another friend that she had a birthday party…to which I was secretly left out. I was stunned, and extremely hurt. I decided to avoid her, too. Then she left for college, and I left for mine, and we went our separate ways.

Three years have passed since then. We’ve had a few meet-ups, but they’ve always felt so superficial, so forced, so unnatural. There was a barrier between us, a stone wall formed by tons of misunderstandings and hurt and difference of opinions.

It’s been more three years since our last meet-up. And during that year, I’ve started to give up a lot of hurt emotions I’ve held against her before. I’ve talked to some other friends, and I’ve discovered that there just have been some misunderstandings between us. Kate never meant to leave me out of her birthday party. She just didn’t want me to feel uncomfortable, and the pressure to eat in front of others.

I’ve also started to understand why she had avoided me. I was a volatile bomb those days, ready to bite anyone who tried to get too close, who mentioned anything about my eating disorder. As a friend who really did care about me, it was torture for her to sit by me with a fake smile on her face, pretending everything was okay.

Well, today, us three had a pretty swell reunion. We met up at Tequila Grande, a Mexican restaurant right across my house which I have never visited before (shame on me!):
Tequila Grande is a really popular place. It’s always swarmed with customers, and it’s got some pretty cute decorations and interesting trinkets:
And the bar is pretty laid back, too!
The waiter was dressed in a Hawaiian shirt. I know. Totally unauthentic. He brought us fresh chips:
And of course salsa:
Kelly started off with a classic Margarita:
Kate played it low with a virgin Strawberry Daiquiri:
I played it cheap with plain ol’ water.
Hey, it had a lemon!

Then Kelly ordered a Combinaciones plate:
Refried beans burrito and spinach & cheese enchilada. Served with Spanish Rice, refried beans, Pico-de-gallo & sour cream
Kate ordered the Chicken Fajita Burrito:
Strips of chicken or steak, sautéed with red & green peppers and onions, in a flour tortilla with cheese, topped with salsa ranchera and cheese, served with rice, refried beans, pico-de-gallo & sour cream

I ordered the Vegetable Fajita:
Vegetables, Mango, Mushrooms, and Plantains Fajita platter. Prepared with sliced onions, red & green peppers and tomato wedges, served sizzling. Accompanied by warm whole wheat tortillas, Spanish rice, fresh guacamole, shredded cheese, sour cream and Pico-de-gallo
Yes, indeed. I think my dish rocked the night!
I specifically ordered it for the plantains, but was rather disappointed to find it sort of…raw. But the vegetables were AWESOME! LOVED the warm mango in it, too!
I even finished up the rice.
Sour cream, mixed with Spanish rice and melted cheese? Freaking awesome: Prepared on the whole wheat tortilla…
I have to say, dinner was quite a fiesta. But not as wicked as the conversations we had! Oh my…I didn’t know whether to be weirded out or fascinated, because my friends…they are quite a…experienced bunch, if you know what I mean .
Forgive me, but I’m a PK, so I’ve pretty much been hanging out with really conservative people my whole life. So it was a bit of fresh air to indulge in juicy gossip and x-rated talk. Seriously, I am Virgin Mary compared to my friends! Their basic final message to me as we parted was: “Get laid, Sophia. It’s f**king awesome.” 0__@!!!!

Once we were done with dinner, we headed over to Kelly’s place to check out her artwork. And freaking hell was I freaking impressed!
Man, look at that quilt she made!

She does a lot of life drawing, so most of her paintings are nudes. So if you’re shy or underage, please DON’T scroll down!
Here’s Kelly with her best work:
And another one of a couple full of passion:

I used to be in the same AP art class as Kelly, and I was really impressed by how much she has improved. One of the things ED stole away from me was my passion for art. Her dedication and passion really inspired and touched me to try rekindling that interest again.

And don’t be surprised to see her paintings in an exhibit somewhere! All her work means something, usually derived from her own life experiences, both the shitty and the good, so it contains a lot of raw emotions. Actually, it was while viewing Kelly’s work that I first got to hear the personal, deepest part of her life, for which I was grateful.

I’m so glad I had the chance to catch up with both of them. We will definitely be going to different paths in our lives, but right now, I’m so relieved Kate and I got all the previous muddy emotions past us, and can just really enjoy a simple and pleasant friendship.

Question of the day: Have you ever had a big misunderstanding or complication with a close friend? How did you resolve it?
And if you’re one of those who just never gets into conflicts with others…Are you into art?

Related posts:

1. I’ve Got Mail!
2. Just a Shadow
3. From being to IN control
4. Deliriously Happy and Full
5. Easter Baptism

Tagged as: bell peppers, cheese, eating disorder, fajitas, mango, mexican, mushrooms, onions, plantains, rice, salad, salsa, tomato