Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock.

Do you hear that? That is the sound of the clock ticking. That is the sound of each second skipping by into oblivion. That is the sound of time escaping forever from our grasp.

Do you ever hear it? Do you ever feel it? Hear the minutes slipping by, and feel the anxiety and stress inside of you rising with each passing minute? Do you ever feel like you’re on a never-ending battle against time?

If you were to ask me what my greatest fear is, it would be time. I fear time, because it is something I can never mess around with, something I can never control, something I can never manipulate to fit my own will. It is always going, and I am forever panting to catch up.

I ran a very intense race with time. I was—am— one of those restless people who are always busy, always having to do something. God forbid the day I sit on my ass doing nothing but twiddle my thumbs. There is so many things I want to do, so many tasks I need to accomplish, so many dreams I want to fulfill. But I just never seem to have enough time. I just never seem to be able to just relax and rest.

This constant restlessness and battle against time is one of my biggest weakness. It forces me to be impatient, stressed out, and anxious. I even think sleep is a total waste of time, and feel immensely guilty if I sleep more than 7 hours a day. I hate naps, because apparently naps are for sissies. I hate waiting, and get extremely pissed off if I have to wait for someone or something. I hate doing things I dislike, because it prevents me from having the time to do other things I’d rather do.

The day I was hospitalized and forced to withdraw from college, I thought I was going to burst. They told me to go home and rest. Rest? REST?! I haven’t rested for God knows how long…I don’t even remember what “rest” means! It was the most difficult and uncomfortable thing for me to just sit at home and…rest. *Shudder*

But I had to do it. My life depended on it. And from then on I slowly learned to take things slow. I didn’t have to be doing something all the time. The reason I was in such a conflict against time was because I felt like I had to make each moment significant and meaningful.

But significant and meaningful for what? To work my ass off, to totally destroy and exhaust my body and mind, to be selfish with my time and refuse to spend time helping other people, and then…what? To be at my last breath and suddenly realize that I had never even taken the time to enjoy each moment of my life? What a sad, pitiful way to live!

I admit, I am still struggling with time. There are times when I am gripped with panic that I seem to be doing nothing with my life while my friends are all close to graduating from college. But then, I remind myself that though I may not be as active and busy as them, I managed to have some precious quality time with my parents. I have learned to live each day for that day only, to enjoy peace in every second of my day.

When I am on my deathbed, I won’t be relieving all the worldly accomplishments and financial achievements in my life. Instead, what I would want to relieve is the simple and joyful memories I shared with my loved ones. And these memories…even time can never ever wash away.

Food, too, can be greater enjoyed when you take things slow and cook it over a long period of time. I realized that most of my recipes are quick to prepare. My “mix-it-up” bowls’ concept was precisely that, to whip up a good dish in a few minutes. Rachel Ray was my hero with her 30-minute meals.

But my mom has a very different way of cooking. Usually her dishes need lots of time to marinate, or simmer on top of the stove for long hours, or left to ferment till the flavors intensify. Today, I decided to learn slow-cooking from my mom. But to take things slow (pun unintended), I learned a dish from her that requires a bit of time, but not too much time.

Korean Mackerel Stew

• about 1 lb mackerel, cut into 4-5 fillets
• daikon, or Chinese radish (as much as you want; the more the sweeter)
• 1/2-1 yellow onion, sliced
• 1 heaping spoonful gochujang (Korean red pepper paste)
• ~1/3 cup soy sauce
• ~1 tablespoon brown sugar
• ~1 tablespoon rice wine
• 4-5 big slices of ginger
• 3 cloves of garlic, minced
• pepper
• water

Chop up the daikon or Chinese radish into about 1/2-inch slices, quarter that. Layer the daikon onto the bottom of a big saucepan, and arrange the mackerels on top. Then top it off with the sliced onions.

Next, make the sauce:

This is the Korean red pepper paste, or gochujang. You can find it at most Asian grocery stores, and it is so worth the investment. There are TONS of things you can make with this, and I promise to share more recipes with this ingredient.

Anyway, to make the sauce: Mix the gochujang, soysauce, sugar, ginger, garlic, and pepper into a paste. Then add as much or little water as you like to thin it out into your own desired consistency. I probably just added about 3-4 tablespoons.

Pour the sauce all over the mackerel. Cook it over medium heat until the mixture starts boiling, then turn down the heat to low, letting it simmer and cook for 30-40 minutes. Meanwhile, check on it occasionally to spoon the sauce in the pan all over the mackerel to let it absorb the flavors.

Unfortunately, as most Korean dishes are, it’s a blob of red and is not the prettiest dish. But it is so, so good.

The best part? There is no best part, I love all the components in the dish. The radishes soak up the juices from the mackerel and the sauce, and is so tender and flavorful…it practically melts in your mouth!

The mackerel of course, has tons of
flavor on its own, but the sauce makes it so much better.

The whole dish is sweetened by the hint of brown sugar, but mostly from the natural sweetness of the daikon and onions. And then, there’s the spice from the gochujang to balance it out…

Of course we have to eat this with kimchi!

And some steamed rice (blend of white and glutinous black rice):

Altogether:

I know I said I hate Korean food, but that was an exaggeration. Some dishes I absolutely love, and this is just one of them!

Question of the day: Do you find yourself in a constant race against time, too? And what is your favorite slow-cooked dish?

Related posts:

1. My Parents’ Hometown
2. Oh What A Wonderful Trip!
3. My Family’s Morning Routine
4. Luckiest Brat in the World
5. Well-Rounded Confidence

Tagged as: fish, gochujang, kimchi, rice, seafood, stew