No Longer Me, Myself, and I

June 27, 2009

in eating disorders,family,God,My story,recipes

I used to be the most selfish person in the whole world. I never shared. All I thought about was myself: satisfying my needs, hoarding everything for myself, and getting what I want. Me, myself, and I.

Thankfully, I have matured quite a bit. I’ve discovered that there really is no great joy than seeing the joy on somebody’s eyes and the flush on their cheeks when you do something for him or her. When I was a kid, I thought Santa Claus was a big fat idiot, giving out presents for free like that. Now I think he just might have the most rewarding and cheerful job in the world.

There are so many ways to give. You can donate money or old clothes to the charity. You can cook or bake for someone. You can buy a birthday or Christmas present, write a card or letter. But I find that the greatest gift within these gifts is the time and effort you spend behind it, and the love you express with that action of giving. That is why sometimes the simplest act of just helping someone, or just listening and lending a shoulder to lean on, can be the greatest gift of all. And that is also why sometimes, even when you’re spending tons and tons of money on somebody, if your heart is not right and sincere, it’s a total meaningless waste.

I have been blessed with many gifts in my life. Not just material goods, but the love and care that many people have showered upon me. And I think it’s time to give back. Now that I am slowly recovering from my eating disorder, and gaining back my strength, my spirits, and my life, I really want to dedicate myself into serving other people. Just like my parents, I want to live a life of giving. Sometimes their efforts are not appreciated, but I know that every action does not escape the eyes of God, and the inner peace and fulfillment I fill inside of me is the greatest reward of all.

Obviously I have no material possessions to share, so today’s act of giving was my culinary skills! My parents were mad busy today, especially with my dad preparing for tomorrow’s sermon, so I offered to make things easy for them by preparing lunch. And since it was lunch for all of us, I had to tailor it to their taste…which means: Asian-fusion time!

Here’s how I came up with today’s dish: My dad loves seafood, my mom loves avocadoes, I love cheese, and we all love carbs. So I combined that all together to make:

“Sushi” Pasta
Serves three carb-whores

10 oz spiral rotini
1/2 ripe avocado, mashed
2 large eggs
1/2 cup Greek yogurt
1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1-2 tsp wasabi
1 tsp mirin
1 tsp rice vinegar
salt and pepper
1 cup grape tomatoes, sliced
1/4 cup chopped green onions
big spoonfuls masago (sweetfish roe)
shredded toasted nori

Cook up the rotini in a large pot of salted water until al dente. Meanwhile, mash together the avocado, eggs, yogurt, cheese, mirin, and vinegar. Season with salt and pepper.

Doesn’t the color look so gorgeous?

Once the pasta is cooked, drain, then toss into that lovely green contents with the grape tomatoes and green onions. Mix until well-coated. Spoon in as much masago as you want and then ladle it out into dishes. Top with shredded nori.

Gorgeous!! How about that? Deconstructed sushi, made into pasta!

By the way, this is masago:

It’s fish roe, and slightly sweet and has a lovely crunch. It added such a delicious bite to the pasta!

The hot pasta cooked up the raw eggs, and mixed with the Parmesan cheese, became this really creamy and gooey sauce for the pasta.

It was so, so good. Of course, my parents, being strictly Korean, ate theirs with chopsticks and kimchi. Go figure!

You might recall that I still have a bit of ED fear regarding pasta, but eating with my parents totally alleviated this irrational fear. Talk about retribution, both-ways! I cooked for my parents, and they helped me with my ED anxieties! That’s the way to go!
See? All gone!

By the way, I also received a really sweet gift today. Look what I found on my doorstep!

A parcel, all the way from my dear friend in HONG KONG!!

She actually took the time to wrap every gift up, and even made her own card for me! How freaking sweet and thoughtful is that?

This package was so sentimental and thoughtful that it brought tears to my eyes. She even came up with a Chinese name for me:

Lu (Earth) Shen (Holy) Ping (Peace). Ha ha, I do hope in becoming a holy peace to the Earth with my faith! Hee hee.

My favorite was this cute hamburger cell phone charm, which will I put on my cell phone as soon as I tackle some good ol’ In-and-out burger!

And also durian chips! AAAH! She remembered how much I freaking adore that stinky fruit!

And a selection of mochi: green tea, red bean, and chocolate-covered with peanut filling

And five-spice powder for more creative dishes in my kitchen:

And a cute goldfish cookie!

Of course, being a green tea fiend, I immediately dug into this little mochi:

And yet another:

Thank you, my dear! I feel incredibly spoiled!