Proud to be a PK

May 18, 2009

in eating disorders,family,God,My story,recipes

Guess what? My parents just left…for a three and a half weeks mission trip to China and Southeast Asia! How sad…just a week after I returned, they’ve got to leave. So now I’m home alone with my brother.

Some people ask me what it’s like to be a PK (pastor’s kid). I always reply, “I’m freaking proud to be a PK and I wouldn’t change it for anything.” And that’s the God-honest truth.

But I won’t lie. There are definitely plenty of downs to being a PK. First of all, I get cast into the spotlight, whether I want it or not. Not only does my father use me in his testimonies and analogies during his sermons, but everybody’s eyes are on me. Sometimes I feel an uncomfortable pressure to live up to people’s expectations. And I’m deathly scared of being a humiliation to my father’s ministry.

I had the worst time at first when I got diagnosed with anorexia. Immediately I was the talk of the church. While the majority of the people in church embraced me, supported me, and prayed for me, there were still a few who put me on the chopping block. They used my ED as a reason to criticize my father and doubt God. How can a pastor’s daughter have anorexia? The pastor must have sinned. The pastor must repent. What kind of God is this? And one or two people even left church because of me.

But still my parents persisted. They entrusted me fully to God, never gave up on me, but instead kept on speaking openly about me. They declared to everyone, even while I was struggling deeply in my ED, that I would recover with the strength and power of God. That God has a plan and purpose for my ED.

Still, at times the criticism would be so severe that my mother came back from church with red eyes and stained cheeks. She tried to hide her tears from me, but I knew about her pain and anguish.

Yet…they fought on. They continued with their ministry, never ceased caring for all the people in church, and even forgave those who prosecuted us. When someone in church got sick, they rushed out immediately to visit. When someone called at 3am in the morning depressed and crying, they answered and comforted the person for hours on the phone. They didn’t waste their time fretting and worrying and getting depressed about me, but instead turned their energy and passion on the church and mission works.

And God favored their endurance and devotion…I can feel His healing hands on me. I am recovering bit by bit daily, and it’s all thanks to my parents’ rock-hard faith in me and God. I truly have the most freaking amazing and incredible parents.

I’m so proud to be a PK, because I can boast that my parents devote all their time and energy on saving lives, not just their physical bodies and mental health, but their everlasting souls. I’m so fortunate to be a PK, because from young I’ve observed my parents’ passion and love for other people firsthand, and by watching their lifestyles and ministries, I have formed a detailed and intricate image of the kind of person I want to be.

My parents are out there in the mission field helping and healing people right now, and I shall do my own part of healing myself here at home. I’ve promised them to gain at least another 5lbs by the time they get back, and may God give me the strength and motivation to achieve this goal! I want my parents to be proud of me in return!

So, here’s the first meal I had by myself while my parents are on their mission trip:

Sweet and Spicy Flatbread Pizza

Base: 1/2 cup roasted and mashed kabocha squash spread all over a whole-wheat flatbread
Toppings: 1 link of spicy andouille sausage, 1/4 cup red and yellow bell peppers, 1/4 cup sliced red onion, 1/3 cup 4-cheese Mexican blend, 1/4 cup Parmesan cheese

Yum, yum, yummmm~

I really, really love having the kabocha squash as the base instead of the usual boring tomato sauce. It adds such a warm, natural sweetness to the pizza.

The contrast between the spiciness of the andouille sausage played extremely well with the crunchy sweetness of the bell peppers.

And what’s a pizza without all that melted cheese? Though I think it would have been better with a bit more cheese…:-(

Come evening, I was feeling a bit lonely…my brother was out the entire day, and I was home all alone. So I decided to comfort myself by cooking up a huge batch of chili. I couldn’t be bothered searching up for recipes, so with a “what the heck” attitude, I just threw anything that caught my fancy into the pot. Thus, I’m calling it the “What the heck” Chili.

“What the Heck” Chili

garlic
onions (both yellow and red)
green bell pepper
celery
carrots
beef broth
red kidney beans
black turtle beans
black-eyed peas

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unsweetened dried coconut
tomatoes
tomato sauce
roasted kabocha squash
cocoa powder
cumin powder
Mexican chili powder
cinnamon
maple syrup
bay leaf
almond milk

Hell yeah! What a truck-load of random ingredients. I didn’t give the measurements because I just grabbed and threw anything and everything into the pot. I put the “weird” ingredients in bold.

It definitely tasted really complex! But in a good way. There was that smoky, spicy taste in the foreground, but also a hint of sweetness from the squash, maple syrup, coconut and almond milk that served only the accent and balance the richness of the chili.

The coconut and cocoa in there definitely made it smell gorgeous!

It definitely warmed me from the toes up to the heart