I can’t believe it. I’m finally here. Home…home…home! I realize I will always have several places I call “home.” One is America, where I am most well-adjusted and comfortable. But then there is also Korea, in which though I feel quite out of place and can never imagine living, there is an undeniable deep root of belonging and blood tie. And then…there’s Singapore. Perhaps the place for which I have the strongest emotion; it is my hometown after all. I grew up here for my entire childhood, and most of my fondest and most vivid memories were collected in this place. My most innocent, carefree, and happy days were spent here.
I was overwhelmed by a sense of familiarity and homesickness when I arrived in the Kuala Lumpur Airport. Malaysia is quite different from Singapore, but still I could recognize the familiar coconut trees, the stifling humidity, the babble of a mix of different dialects, the integration of three races (Malay, Chinese, Indian), the cutting, awkward yet practical sounding Singlish, the fishy odor intermeshing with the fragrance of curry and spices, the outdoor kopitiams and stall vendors…It’s amazing how these familiar five senses can lift up my spirit and stir up so many different emotions and memories inside me. I can’t wait till I return to Singapore!
That said, perhaps it’s this uplifted mood and the warm surrounding sense of belonging and home that has filled me with a renewed spirit of optimism and vigor. Or perhaps it’s the unpleasant stares from people as I parade around fully displaying my skeletal frame in loose summer clothing. Or perhaps it’s from this all-too-familiar twinge of deep regret and disappointment that I would not truly be able to enjoy myself in this undesirable state. Or perhaps also it’s because of the faithful prayers of the brothers and sisters in CLC. But whatever the reason, I have suddenly restored bright motivation and determination to do better, to change myself, to improve myself. The food here is a huge challenge for me: all grease and oil, and nothing but white refined products. But what the hell— all food is created by God and nobody died eating this food; in fact, they are all running around with more health and energy than me. The very fact that I have “fear foods” is ridiculous! (So I try to remind myself each time I get anxious)
So…I shall be posting my food photos soon…Malaysian food porn to come!
Related posts:
{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
I am so happy you are in a better place now. You must be grateful to have this to look back on.
{ 1 trackback }